對(duì)待批評(píng)的建議雙語
享受失敗的樂趣。 重新轉(zhuǎn)化這個(gè)事情，擁抱批評(píng).接下來，小編給大家準(zhǔn)備了對(duì)待批評(píng)的建議雙語,歡迎大家參考與借鑒。
對(duì)待批評(píng)的建議雙語
I have a very hard time being criticized, corrected, or accused – even of the smallest mistakes – and I react very angrily. I’ve wrestled1 this instinct under control in a professional context, more or less, but I have more trouble with it at home. All it takes is for the Big Girl to say something like,"You forgot to remind me to bring my library book," to send me into a tirade2. "What do you mean…it's not my responsibility…I didn’t know Wednesday was Library Day…" etc., etc.
對(duì)我哪怕是最微小的一個(gè)批評(píng)、糾正或指責(zé)，我都會(huì)很難接受——而且我會(huì)做出十分憤怒的反應(yīng)。在職業(yè)中，我會(huì)將這種本能遏制住，但是在家里卻難以做到。只需要大女兒說類似：“你忘記提醒我要帶圖書館圖書”就能讓我言辭激烈。“你是什么意思..這不是我的事..我又不知道星期三是圖書館日...”諸如此類的話。
More and more, I see the connection between perfectionism, control, and anger. Zoikes, how I try to be more mild-mannered and easy-going! Here are some of the strategies that I try to use to accept criticism. If I manage to use them, they never fail me, but it can be hard to have the mindfulness needed to apply them.
我越來越發(fā)現(xiàn)完美主義、控制和憤怒之間的關(guān)系。啊，我是多么努力在要做到更溫文爾雅、更隨和!下面是我用來接受批評(píng)時(shí)的策略中的一些。如果我用上它們，就絕對(duì)不會(huì)讓我失望，但是要有一個(gè)清醒頭腦去用它們卻是一件困難的事情。
1. Listen to what a critic is saying. Really listen, try to understand that point of view, don’t just nod while you formulate3 your retorts.
聽一聽批評(píng)者在說什么。真正傾聽，試圖了解觀點(diǎn)，不要一邊點(diǎn)頭，一邊準(zhǔn)備自己的反駁。
2. Don't be defensive4. This is the toughest step for me. With my writing, for example, I always have to take a deep breath before reading an edit letter or meeting with an editor, to remind myself, "I welcome criticism. This person is helping5 me. I’m eager to hear how to improve my book/article/post." Act the way you want to feel! That's my Third Commandment. Along the same lines…
不要用防御心理。對(duì)我來說這是最難的一步。例如，在我寫作時(shí)，我總要在閱讀編輯的信或和編輯見面前深吸一口氣，來提醒自己：“我歡迎批評(píng)。這個(gè)人在幫助我。我渴望聽一聽如何改善我的書/文章/帖子的話”。 你希望獲得怎樣的感受就怎樣去做!這是我的第三條戒律。同理...
3. Don't fire back by criticizing your critic. Your comments will just sound defensive, and you'll escalate6 the exchange. This urge is very difficult to resist, because the impulse to justify7 and attack is strong when you feel criticized, but it just isn't helpful, and it certainly isn’t effective.
不要批評(píng)你的批評(píng)者來反擊。 你的話只會(huì)聽上去有防御心，而且你將會(huì)將“交火”升級(jí)。這樣的沖動(dòng)很難抵制，因?yàn)橐碚?、攻擊?duì)方的沖動(dòng)在你感覺受到批評(píng)時(shí)是很強(qiáng)烈，但這并沒有幫助，也肯定是沒有效果的。
4. Delay your reaction. Count to ten, take a deep breath, sleep on it, wait until the next day to send that email…any kind of delay is good. A friend told me that she has a rule for herself: when she's upset about something that happened at her children's school, she won't let herself do anything about it for three days – and usually she decides that no action is better than action.
延遲你的反應(yīng)。 數(shù)到10、做深呼吸、隔一宿、等到第二天再發(fā)出那封電子郵件。任何類別的延遲都有幫助。一位朋友曾告訴我一條她自己的規(guī)定：當(dāng)她對(duì)某件發(fā)生在她的孩子學(xué)校力的事情感到生氣，她讓自己3天什么也不做--而且往往她認(rèn)為不采取行動(dòng)比行動(dòng)更好。
5. Explain honestly the reason for your actions. Sometimes it's tempting8 to re-characterize your actual feelings and motives9. Usually, though, that just complicates10 things more. It becomes impossible to have an honest exchange.
誠實(shí)地解釋你的行為。有時(shí)候，改變你的實(shí)際的感受和意圖是很誘人的做法。但通常這只會(huì)讓事情更復(fù)雜化，讓誠實(shí)的交流沒有可能。
6. Admit your mistakes. This is extremely effective and disarming11. When I got my first job, my father told me, "If you take the blame, you'll get the responsibility." I've found that to be very true. Difficult, but true. Admitting mistakes is the first step, then…
承認(rèn)自己的錯(cuò)誤。 這是極為有效、消解的方法。當(dāng)我獲得第一份工作時(shí)，我的父親曾告訴我：“如果你承擔(dān)了責(zé)備，你將會(huì)獲得責(zé)任” 我發(fā)現(xiàn)這一點(diǎn)很正確。難但是卻正確。承認(rèn)錯(cuò)誤是第一步，接下來...
7. Explain what you've learned. If you can show a critic that you've learned something, you prove that you've understood the criticism and tried to act on it. That, itself, usually mollifies critics.
解釋你已經(jīng)學(xué)到了什么。如果你能向一位批評(píng)者展示你學(xué)到了某樣?xùn)|西，那么你在證明自己已經(jīng)理解了批評(píng)，并且試圖采取行動(dòng)。這本身就能讓批評(píng)者安靜下來。
8. Enjoy the fun of failure. Re-frame the issue entirely12 to embrace criticism. Fact is, trying new things and aiming high opens you to criticism. I tell myself to Enjoy the fun of failure to try to re-frame failure and criticism as part of the fun. Otherwise, my dread13 of criticism can paralyze me.
What am I overlooking? Have you found any other strategies that work for you?
享受失敗的樂趣。 重新轉(zhuǎn)化這個(gè)事情，擁抱批評(píng)。事實(shí)上，嘗試新事物、眼光高都會(huì)讓你更容易被批評(píng)。在《享受失敗的樂趣》一文中我告訴自己重建失敗、批評(píng)，將它們作為樂趣的一部分。不然的話，我對(duì)批評(píng)的恐懼將讓我行為癱瘓。
我漏掉了什么沒有?你有沒有發(fā)現(xiàn)其它有用的方法?
擴(kuò)展：過節(jié)給老板送禮注意事項(xiàng)六則
Are you considering adding your boss to your gift-giving list this year?
"Tread1 carefully," warns Jo Bennett, partner in the New York City executive2 search firm Battalia Winston. "It's not all that common and I think if you want to give a gift to your boss, you need to think about what's in it for you."
Here are some simple do's and don'ts to keep your holiday giving happy.
今年，你考慮送老板禮物嗎?
來自Battalia Winston高級(jí)人才搜尋公司合伙人Jo Bennett說：“給老板送禮要謹(jǐn)慎。送老板禮物并不是一個(gè)普遍的現(xiàn)象。如果你希望給老板送禮物的話，你需要考慮自己有什么好處?！?/p>
下面是一些簡(jiǎn)單的注意事項(xiàng)，它們讓節(jié)日送禮成為一件愉快的事。
1、Do your homework. 準(zhǔn)備
Buying your boss a gift is just like any other workplace project. So research the history of gift-giving in your office:
給老板買禮物就如同任何工作中的一個(gè)項(xiàng)目。所以，調(diào)查以往的送禮情況:
Do people give gifts to the boss? 人們(在過節(jié))給老板送禮物嗎?
If so, what kind? 如果送的話，是送哪類禮物?
Has it ever backfired for any of your coworkers, and if so, how?
曾經(jīng)出現(xiàn)過有同事送禮后適得其反的情況嗎?有的話，是如何發(fā)生的?
2、Don't make your boss uncomfortable. 不要讓老板感覺不自在
Now that you know the tradition, think about why you want to give your boss a gift in the first place.
"If the answer is because you want to curry3 favor, I wouldn't do it," said Bennett. "The risk is that your boss will see it as trying to twist the relationship and get an advantage. You don't want to make your boss uncomfortable."
既然你了解了過去送禮習(xí)慣，下面來考慮自己到底為什么要送老板禮物。
Bennett說：“如果回答是因?yàn)槟阆肴ビ懞?，要我可不?huì)送。風(fēng)險(xiǎn)在于你的老板可能把禮物看作扭曲關(guān)系真相、占便宜的行為。你可不希望讓對(duì)方感覺不自在?！?/p>
3、Do be sincere4. 真誠
The best reason to give your boss a gift is to thank him or her for a specific act of kindness during the year that went "above and beyond the call of duty," Bennett said.
"Maybe your boss smoothed over a particular issue you had with a customer," she suggested. "Or maybe your boss gave you some great career advice. In that case, give something small with a nice card of genuine5 thanks."
Bennett說,給老板送禮物最好的理由是感謝他/她在過去一年里做出過的”超出工作范圍之外“的某個(gè)具體善舉。
她建議“也許你的老板為你解決了你與客戶之間的特定問題?；蛘吣愕睦习褰o了你某些很好的事業(yè)建議。這個(gè)情況下，送點(diǎn)東西并附上一張漂亮的真誠感謝的卡片”
4、Don't get personal. 不要送個(gè)人化的禮物
The worst gifts for bosses are expensive or personal, said Dallas-based business etiquette6 expert Colleen Rickenbacher, author of "Be on Your Best Business Behavior."
"The bottom line is always, 'Don't give something that touches the body,'" she said. Avoid clothes or perfume7. Even flowers could be perceived8 as overly personal and start coworkers gossiping.
《展現(xiàn)你最佳職業(yè)行為》一書作者、來自達(dá)拉斯市的商務(wù)禮儀專家Colleen Rickenbacher說,給老板最糟糕的禮物是那些昂貴的或者個(gè)人化的禮物。
她說：“最重要的一點(diǎn)‘不要送和身體有接觸的’”。 回避送衣服、香水。即便是花也可能被當(dāng)成過于個(gè)人化、惹來同事閑談的禮物。
5、Do cut costs. 減少成本
One of the best ways to give your boss a gift, say both Rickenbacher and Bennett, is to buy her something as a team. If each person gives , you can give your boss a gift certificate9 to her favorite restaurant or buy him a pricier gift that his assistant recommends.
That way, no one gets singled out as a brown-noser, and everyone shares the holiday spirit.
Or consider something inexpensive and consumable: jam you make at home, wine made in your garage, or cookies are all simple and genuine ways to share the holiday spirit without crossing any lines.
Rickenbacher與Bennett都認(rèn)為給老板送禮的最好方法就是合伙買禮物。如果每人出10美元，你就能給老板一張最喜愛餐館的用餐禮卡或購買某個(gè)來自老板助手推薦的價(jià)格較昂貴的禮物。
這樣不會(huì)有個(gè)別人被認(rèn)為是馬屁精，而且人人都分享到了節(jié)日氣氛。
或者，考慮不貴、可消費(fèi)的東西--家中自制的果醬;自家車庫中釀的紅酒、或甜餅，這些都是簡(jiǎn)簡(jiǎn)單單而地道的分享節(jié)日氣氛而不會(huì)越界的方法。
6、Don't treat your boss like family. 不要像家人一樣對(duì)待老板
"If someone in your family gives you a gift, you better give one back," said Bennett. "But it's different in an office."
Don't feel the need to reciprocate10 if your boss gives you something. At worst, Rickenbacher said rushing to respond with a gift could end up looking like an afterthought.
"All you have to do when you receive a gift is show appreciation," she said, "and follow up with a thank-you note."
“如果有家人給你一份禮物，你最好回送一份禮物，但是在辦公室里卻不同。”
如果老板給你某樣?xùn)|西，不要感到有必要回送禮物。Rickenbacher說，一個(gè)最糟糕的情況是，匆忙還禮會(huì)看起來就像你是后來才想到的。
她說：“當(dāng)收到老板的一份禮物后，要做的一切只是表達(dá)感激，然后送一張感謝卡片。
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對(duì)待批評(píng)的建議雙語
