托福寫作解析:eathealthy
為了幫助大家高效備考托福,在寫作方面取得高分,下面小編給大家?guī)硗懈懽鹘馕觯篹at healthy,望喜歡!
托福寫作解析:eat healthy
The food we eat today is much healthier than in the past. A/D?
該題為2011年01月08日大陸題
開頭段(略)
First and foremost, granted, some critics may argue that, with the higher level of industrialization in recent years, the degree of contamination is improved to a higher level, leading to the environment worse than before, which is disadvantageous toward growing crops. Nonetheless, a closer analysis will reveal that a crucial fact is overlooked in this case. That is, good environment is no guarantee of food quality. The equipment for food preservation was simple and crude several decades ago. Besides, the hygienic conditions for food protection was worse in the past, which means that food at that time is not very healthy. For instance, several decades ago, most people were not able to afford fridge to preserve food. Instead, during that time period, salt was well-recognized as the only effective raw material to prevent food from decaying. Unfortunately, having cure food has already been proved to exert an adverse effect on individuals’ health. In contrast, with the rapid development of science and technology, more advanced equipment and highly developed transportation system promise the freshness of food.
Furthermore, nowadays, common people pay more attention to the nutrient value of food than before. With the advent of more nutritionists proposing a well-balanced diet, people are capable of being more healthy and fortifying their bodies against diseases. Specifically, many experts who are specialized in food industry today are more likely to recommend individuals to eat organic food, which has been verified to be more nutritious than traditional food.
Finally, contemporarily, governments put an increasing amount of budget for universities and institutes to do many forefront researches on food science. Accordingly, many novel types of food are created in the hope of coping with particular health problems. Here’s an example, diabetic food, which contains little or no sugar, is especially designed for diabetics to maintain their health. Without the rapid development of science and technology in recent years, such new kinds of health-conscious food can hardly be invented in the contemporary era.
By way of conclusion, weighing the pros and cons thoroughly discussed in the previous paragraphs, the ultimate summary is obvious-food provided in recent years is healthier than that of several decades ago.
托福寫作解析:Eat out or eat at home
托福寫作題目:
Topic:Eat out or eat at home?
Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
參考分析:
不要急于做出選擇,先進行比較,然后根據(jù)情況選擇:
去餐館或者吃快餐的優(yōu)缺點:方便、快捷、多種口味;昂貴、衛(wèi)生可能得不到保障、快餐使人發(fā)胖;
在家吃飯的優(yōu)缺點:干凈、可以做出自己喜歡的口味、節(jié)省、與家人和朋友共同準(zhǔn)備實物很開心;花費時間、可能做的沒有餐館那么好吃;
在不同的情況下會有不同的選擇。周末休息應(yīng)該跟家人在家里吃飯。與老朋友久別重逢應(yīng)該找一家安靜的餐館……
范文:
選擇在飯館吃飯:
(1)節(jié)省時間,自己做飯很麻煩;
(2)能夠品嘗各種各樣的美食;
(3)能夠促進和朋友的感情。
Nowadays, some people like to eat at home and prepare food by themselves, but others prefer to eat outside in restaurants or at food stands. As far as I am concerned, I prefer to eat at home.(標(biāo)準(zhǔn)式開頭,先闡述現(xiàn)今社會狀況,再表達個人觀點,開門見山)
Of course there are some advantages to eat out. Firstly, restaurants offer a more comfortable environment to eat and the food there tastes more delicious than home-cooked meals. In addition, eating at restaurants is a good way of getting together with friends. People also do not need to worry about washing dishes and cleaning. For people who are too busy to cook, eating out is certainly an ideal(理想的)choice. Furthermore, for people do not know how to cook and do not have someone to cook for them, eat out seems to be the only choice.(本段是讓步段,先講在外吃的好處一個是舒適的環(huán)境美味的食物,另一個是給不會做飯和不知做飯給誰的人提供吃飯的條件)
However, I prefer to cook and eat and home. The main reason is that at home, family members can prepare their meals and enjoying their food together, which can enhance their relationships. Family members can talk, make jokes and exchange feelings on current affairs with each other while preparing a meal. Parents have a chance to communicate with their kids and keep track of what they are thinking and doing; while children can learn to help with some household tasks and develop intimacy(與父母增進感情)with their parents. Image that you and your brothers and sisters help your mother to cook on a weekend, and enjoy the food later on(稍后), and you feel everything is so nice.(這是第一段論述在家吃好處是可以與家人增進感情種.種,以自己為例子顯得生動可信)
Another reason is that eating at home can save money. The same amount of money that you spend on a meal in a restaurant can buy a lot more foods from a supermarket. You can use the money saved to buy a new cloth, or attend a concert.(本段是從經(jīng)濟方面來論述在家吃確實可行)
General speaking, eating out side is comfortable and convenient but eating at home has more benefits. I prefer to eat at home.(這篇文章是標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的議論文結(jié)構(gòu),沒有特別華麗的語言,但是結(jié)構(gòu)清晰論述完整,沒有語法錯誤,這也是保分的必要條件)
托福寫作致命傷 千萬不要犯
1.用詞不當(dāng)
學(xué)生們寫的作文里或多或少都會有一些用詞不當(dāng)?shù)膯栴},但是要注意的是一些最最基本的錯誤是不能犯的。
In the show, if participators answer twenty problems that the host mentioned correctly, they will get five hundreds thousand U.S. dollars as a prize.
——problems應(yīng)改為questions
2.拼寫錯誤
這里的拼寫錯誤不是指在考試時候的誤打,而是本身對詞匯拼寫記憶的錯誤。
In conclusion, issue of whether parents are the best teachers is a complex one, requiring subjective judgement, consequently, there are no easy or certain answers.
——judgement應(yīng)改為judgment
3.亂用大詞
First of all, children can earn money from their jobs, although there isn’t too much, but they will keep their salary gingerliness.
這里的gingerliness根本是不知所云。該句子還有以下問題:
1)該作文題目是講學(xué)生是否應(yīng)該做兼職,因此children的出現(xiàn)就顯得很莫名其妙;
2)although和but是不能連用的;
3)指代不明,they不知道是指代前面的什么;
4.表達中式
The second argument-it might have been noticed by others-is that in some occasion, it is quite difficult to compare parents to teachers because parents are a kind of people, teachers are a kind of vocation.
句子中劃線部分的表達過于中式化。
5.表意重復(fù)
They shocked their friends, devastated their families, crushed their best friends.
前面已經(jīng)提到了朋友,后面又提到朋友。
The show is so compelling but attractive.
compelling和attractive是同義詞,所以這里這么寫就讓人不明白。
6.固定用法錯誤
To some extends, I agree with the author’s general assertion that if parents also have a comprehensive sense of professional knowledge.
——To some extends應(yīng)改為To some extent
7.例證夸張
For example, when a doctor faces a patient who has got cancer, the doctor cannot tell the truth, for the truth may cause the patient’s immediate death.
雖然善意的謊言是必要的,但是其功效顯然沒有這么大。
8.成分多余
According to a comprehensive investigation which is carried out by Chinese Academy of Social Sciences shows that there is an increase in the number of university students who are taking part-time jobs.
該句中的shows that是多余的成分。
9.詞性混亂
However, the questions such as "Have you ever regretted marrying your husband" may be very privacy and embarrassingly.
句子中的privacy和embarrassingly應(yīng)該改成private和embarrassing。
10.文體不正式
All of the players gonna to tell the truth in attempt to win 0,000.
——gonna過于口語化。
In addition, I think people shoudn’t always tell the truth to others.
——在托福作文中盡量不要用縮寫,這里應(yīng)該寫should not。
11.兩個獨立句子間無連詞
Another point is that young people are more aggressive and energetic, and it’s suitable for them to choose such jobs, which will provide them with rich experience that is essential for their future success.
這個錯誤犯的頻率相當(dāng)高,一定要注意。
12.時態(tài)錯誤
托福大作文一般使用現(xiàn)在時態(tài),除了拿過去事件作為例子用過去時態(tài)。
Some people claimed that news media has enormous influence and is a detrimental creation.
—— claimed應(yīng)該改為claim
13.不知所云
They also mention that in modern society there are too much entertainment bothering them as the huge gap lying between them and the success.
這句話完全不知道是什么意思,邏輯混亂,這是中國學(xué)生經(jīng)常犯的錯誤。
托福寫作 重點把握這三類詞
第一類 表達具體動作的動詞
假設(shè)你要參加一次英文面試,在介紹實習(xí)經(jīng)歷時,很多同學(xué)會說I involved in the project。面試官接下來很可能會追問你具體做了什么事,或者問你在項目中的角色。這就說明,involve這個單詞,表達的含義太寬泛,讓讀者或聽者產(chǎn)生了困惑,畢竟無論是助理還是老板,都可以說自己involve,而他們實際做的事情完全不同。
比面試更糟糕的情況是,你在托福寫作中也僅僅寫了involve,考官卻沒有機會追問你細(xì)節(jié)。因此他只能把你的作文判斷"not provide enough specific support/development”或者“ideas are difficult to follow”,也就是fair的評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。正確的表達方式是,使用表意更確切的動詞,例如在市場部門的工作經(jīng)常包括:drafted proposals,edited brochures,coordinated campaigns(寫計劃書,編輯手冊,協(xié)調(diào)活動)等等。
再說一個同學(xué)們常用,但其實表意有點模糊的單詞:improve,比如improve work efficiency.這個表述就沒能說出提高效率的具體表現(xiàn),因為不同的工作有不同的標(biāo)準(zhǔn),效率的表現(xiàn)也不同??梢栽囋囘@樣的表述:optimize operations,speed up solutions,trump procrastination(優(yōu)化操作,加快解決方案,戰(zhàn)勝拖延)。
第二類 描繪細(xì)節(jié)的名詞
細(xì)節(jié)名詞,例如一些物品的名稱,很多同學(xué)認(rèn)為不常用,所以不會特別背誦。這種想法其實不符合托福寫作對細(xì)節(jié)的偏好。
讓我們來對比以下三個句子:
1. 蔬菜有益健康;
2. 蔬菜的營養(yǎng)有益健康;
3. 蔬菜中含有的維生素和礦物質(zhì)能使人增強免疫力和預(yù)防肥胖。
托??忌鷳?yīng)該都能看出,第三個句子是最好的,因為它細(xì)節(jié)最豐富,把蔬菜的好處說得最清楚,而第一個句子是最模糊的。但是在實際寫作中,很多同學(xué)都止步于第二句,因為對維生素(Vitamins)、礦物質(zhì)(Minerals)、免疫力(Immunity)和肥胖(Obesity)這幾個單詞都不夠熟悉。
第三類 抽象名詞
英語的詞性變化很靈活。一些我們常用的名詞,加上后綴會構(gòu)成抽象名詞,常用在書面語中,是表意簡介準(zhǔn)確。
例如consumer是消費者,consumerism是消費主義,在生活方式類題目和教育類題目中都可以使用;還有一些名詞,同時擁有具體和抽象的表意,例如heritage既可以表達的遺產(chǎn),也可以是抽象的"傳統(tǒng)",與tradition含義相近。如果能有意識地使用抽象名詞,即使不背誦新單詞,也能寫出含義更豐富的句子。
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