托福寫作范文分享:畢業(yè)后是否選擇回家
托福獨(dú)立寫作的考題內(nèi)容有時(shí)候和考生息息相關(guān),比如畢業(yè)后是否選擇回家?下文小編就為大家分享該話題的一篇范文,希望對(duì)同學(xué)們的托福獨(dú)立寫作有幫助!
托福寫作范文分享:畢業(yè)后是否選擇回家
After they complete their univerrsity studies, some students preferr to live in their hometowns while others choose to live in different towns or cities. Everybody has his own reasons for his preference. After my graduation, I will go back and live in my home city. I have made this decision because of the following reasons.
Firstly, my home city is a big city that can offer a lot. There are plenty of opportunities for work, many big libraries for studies, several differrent musiums for visit, and numerous cinemas, theaters and centers for entertainment. When I go back there, I will have no difficulty in finding a job suitable for me and I can make use of all the facilities available there.
Secondly, if I go back to my home city, I can look after my parents. I take this into consideration because I am their only child and they are now weak and getting on in age. If I live in the same city with them, I can visit them very often and help them whenever it is necessary. Thirdly, if I live in my home city, I will have a lot of friends, schoolmates and relatives to visit and to turn to for help when I need. Of course, I could get acquainted with many people and make many friends if I were to go to live in a strange place, but that takes time. If I go back to my home city, everybody will be waiting for me and I will be able to settle down comfortably without any trouble and waste of time.
In short, my choise is based on a careful consideration of my home city and my family. I think it is a better or sensible choice; in a certain sense, it is a must.
Neighbors are the people who live near us. In your opinion, what are the qualities of a good neighbor? Use specific details and examples in your answer.
托福寫作批改:大學(xué)畢業(yè)生的去向問題
In many countries, good school and medical facilities are available only in cities. Some people think university graduates who become new teacher and doctors should work in rural areas for a few years. What is your view?
學(xué)生原文:
Admittedly, there are big gaps between urban areas and rural areas especially in education and medical treatment. People from rural areas have more difficulties in accessing good universities and hospitals compared with city people. Whether the universities graduates who become doctors and teachers should work in rural areas for some time is highly debatable. My opinion is that this suggestion is practical.
Obviously, there are some benefits to the fresh graduates who work as doctors and teachers in rural areas. For example, they can enhance their physical and mental health by experiencing hard life and circumstance which is totally different from the comfortable life in city. They would become strong and independent if they survival from the tough life in rural area, thereby making them more prepared when they face challenges in future. Secondly, the sense of responsibility to the whole society will be developed by helping with others. They will feel proud by helping with others, which makes the society more civilized. Furthermore, they would be more skilled in teaching and diagnosing comparing with their colleagues in cities as they have more chance to practice.
Not only will the fresh graduates be beneficial from such idea, but also the local residents. They can receive more formal education and better treatment. Theoretically, the disparity between cities and rural areas could be reduced effectively by implementing such idea.
However, every coin has two sides. The side effect of this idea is also outstanding as the fresh graduates may lack of competitiveness due to the rural areas are lack of experienced staff and good facilities to supervise and support them. They may lack of knowledge of advanced facilities and systematic teaching method which make them difficult to readapt the new working environment when they go back to cities after several years. Moreover, some of them may treat their job negatively as they are not willing to go to rural areas.
Therefore, it is not wise to send all the fresh doctors and teachers to rural areas to work for a few years. The freedom of choice should be left to themselves. The government should raise some good policies to encourage those who are willing to help and support rural areas. For instance, providing free training and giving extra allowance to the volunteers would be feasible measures.
小站教育老師批改后:
Admittedly, there are big gaps between urban areas and rural areas especially in education and medical treatment. People from rural areas have more difficulties in accessing good universities and hospitals compared with city people.【背景介紹】Whether the universities graduates who become doctors and teachers should work in rural areas for some time is highly debatable. 【改寫題目】My opinion is that this suggestion is practical.【自己的觀點(diǎn)】
第一段寫的非常好,嚴(yán)格按照背景介紹——改寫題目——自己的觀點(diǎn) 這個(gè)層次去寫,內(nèi)容很充實(shí)。
Obviously, there are some benefits to the fresh graduates who work as doctors and teachers in rural areas. For example, 【Firstly,與下文的secondly對(duì)應(yīng),這樣結(jié)構(gòu)上會(huì)緊湊點(diǎn)】they can enhance their physical and mental health by experiencing hard life and circumstance which is totally different from the comfortable life in city. They would become strong and independent if they survival from the tough life in rural area, thereby making them more prepared when they face challenges in future. Secondly, the sense of responsibility to the whole society will be developed by helping with others. They will feel proud by helping with others, which makes the society more civilized. 【這一點(diǎn)闡述的不到位,具體為什么可以增強(qiáng)他們的責(zé)任感你要細(xì)講】Furthermore, (Last but not least)they would be more skilled in teaching and diagnosing comparing with their colleagues in cities as they have more chance to practice.
【此外,可以把選取兩點(diǎn)內(nèi)容分開來,兩段詳細(xì)闡釋,比較好,更有說服力。不然這樣子結(jié)構(gòu)上可能不夠緊湊,而且闡述的都不夠到位?!?/p>
Not only will the fresh graduates be beneficial from such idea, but also the local residents. (亮點(diǎn)句式)They can receive more formal education and better treatment. Theoretically, the disparity between cities and rural areas could be reduced effectively by implementing such idea.
However, every coin has two sides. The side effect of this idea is also outstanding as the fresh graduates may lack of competitiveness due to the rural areas are lack of experienced staff and good facilities to supervise and support them. 【due to后面接名詞,不是句子,the rural areas lack of experienced staff and good facilities to supervise and support them】They may lack of(in) knowledge of advanced facilities and systematic teaching method which make them difficult to readapt the new working environment when they go back to cities after several years. Moreover, some of them may treat their job negatively as they are not willing to go to rural areas.
Therefore, it is not wise to send all the fresh doctors and teachers to rural areas to work for a few years. 【這一句總結(jié)的很得體到位】The freedom of choice should be left to themselves. The government should raise some good policies to encourage those who are willing to help and support rural areas. For instance, providing free training and giving extra allowance to the volunteers would be feasible measures.
估分:6.5
評(píng)價(jià):論證結(jié)構(gòu)還需要再優(yōu)化,同時(shí)讓自己的每一個(gè)分論點(diǎn)可以得到更充分的闡述。另外一些細(xì)節(jié)也要注意,寫好后讀一遍。
【托福寫作】托福作文高級(jí)句型歸納匯總
句型1
原文材料:
"The new rules should thus expose polluters to a scissor-style pressure:from above,through the central-planning system,and from below,from the media and organisations such as Mr Ma's."
推薦句型:
_x be exposed to a scissor-style pressure: from above, through…, and from below, from….
推薦理由:
壓力毫無疑問是一個(gè)寫作和口語考試中非常常用的一個(gè)理由,因?yàn)樗梢愿芏鄸|西相關(guān),比如壓力的來源(生活壓力,學(xué)習(xí)壓力,工作壓力),壓力的影響(身體差,心情不爽),減壓的方式和措施等等,上面的句型就可以用來描寫某一個(gè)主體,比如工作的人或者學(xué)生,面臨著雙重壓力,工作的人可能來自照顧老人撫養(yǎng)孩子;學(xué)生可能來自父母老師以及同伴。
原創(chuàng)例句:
1. A majority of the youths today are exposed to a scissor-style pressure: from above, through looking after the ever growing aging population, and from below, from the soaring costs of raising children.
1.當(dāng)今,大多數(shù)年輕人面臨剪刀式的壓力:從上方看,通過照顧不斷增長的老齡化人口;從下方,從養(yǎng)育子女的高昂成本中受益。
2. A multitude of teenagers at present are exposed to a scissor-style pressure: from above, through their parents with ever-higher expectations, and from below, from their peers most of whom try their best to outdo each other.
2.當(dāng)前,許多青少年承受著剪刀式的壓力:從上方,通過對(duì)父母寄予厚望的父母,從下方,從同齡人中,大多數(shù)人都盡力超越對(duì)方。
學(xué)以致用:
1. People care more about public recognition than about money.
根據(jù)上面的例句,這個(gè)題目我們可以選擇不同意,那些苦逼的剛上班沒幾年的年輕人,怎么可能更在乎名而不是錢呢?他們壓力多大啊,當(dāng)然需要錢了啊;
2. Younger school children should be required to study music and art in addition to language, science, and mathematics.
同樣,這個(gè)題目我們也可以選擇不同意的立場(chǎng),孩子們本來就壓力特別大,父母期望高,同伴都一個(gè)比一個(gè)牛逼,學(xué)校里面的課程和輔導(dǎo)課都上不完呢,怎么可能有時(shí)間搞別的呢。這不是坑爹嗎?
句型2
原文材料:
While, arguably, this “finding” is as trivial as an umbrella that turns blue when it’s going to rain, there is nothing trivial about collecting personal data, as innocuous as that data may seem.
推薦句型(變體):
While...seems/sounds as adj. as can be, there is nothing more adj. than...
推薦理由:
我們?cè)讵?dú)立寫作中經(jīng)常用到對(duì)比的寫法。這個(gè)句型可用在具有對(duì)比意味的語境中,前半句當(dāng)作讓步,“盡管對(duì)比中的一個(gè)因素看起來已經(jīng)很…”, 后半句轉(zhuǎn)折說“但是另一個(gè)因素更…”.
原創(chuàng)例句:
1. While environmental protection seems as pressing as can be, there is nothing more pressing than feeding the growing population in disadvantaged countries where the original eco-system is well preserved.
1.盡管環(huán)境保護(hù)似乎迫在眉睫,但除了養(yǎng)護(hù)原始生態(tài)系統(tǒng)良好的處境不利的國家不斷增長的人口外,沒有什么比這更緊迫了。
2. While a secure job seems as tempting as can be, there is no job more tempting than a risky and well-paid one for the new generation who are mostly avid challenge hunters.
2.雖然一份安全的工作似乎很誘人,但沒有什么比充滿風(fēng)險(xiǎn)的獵手的新一代冒險(xiǎn)和報(bào)酬高的工作更誘人了。
3. While playing sports with a couple of friends sounds as relaxing as can be, there is nothing more relaxing than a good book or an old movie for those manual laborers who are wearied out with strenuous physical work every day.
3.在與幾個(gè)朋友一起運(yùn)動(dòng)時(shí),聽起來可能會(huì)很輕松,但對(duì)于那些每天疲憊不堪的體力勞動(dòng)者來說,沒有什么比一本好書或一部老電影更令人放松了。
學(xué)以致用:
1. Feeding the world’s growing population is more important than protecting environment.
這道題中如果我們持同意的意見,就可以用到第 一個(gè)例句。盡管到處都在宣揚(yáng)保護(hù)環(huán)境的重要,但是并非世界各地的環(huán)境都破壞了啊,比如美麗的非洲大草原原始生態(tài)環(huán)境保持完好,但是一些邊緣小國民不聊生,人民瘦的皮包骨,你說feed population重要還是保護(hù)環(huán)境重要呢?
2. It is better to take a secure job with a low pay than to take a risky one with a high salary.
根據(jù)第二個(gè)例句,我們這道題可以不同意。雖然鐵飯碗聽起來挺誘人的,但新一代的年輕人個(gè)個(gè)都很傲嬌,熱衷追尋挑戰(zhàn),高薪高風(fēng)險(xiǎn)的工作相比之下更合他們的口味。
3. To read a book or to watch a movie is a better way to relax than to do some physical exercises.
第三個(gè)例句回答的就是這道題,確實(shí)約三五好友做做運(yùn)動(dòng)聽起來不賴,但是對(duì)于那些每天做繁重體力勞動(dòng)的工人來說,額外的運(yùn)動(dòng)會(huì)加重他們的身體負(fù)擔(dān),還是一本好書或者一部老電影更能幫他們放松。
句型3 原文材料:
It takes very little imagination to foresee how the kitchen mood wall could lead to advertisements for antidepressants that follow you around the Web...It takes even less imagination to foresee how information about your comings and goings obtained from the Google Latitude Doorbell could be used in a court of law.
推薦句型:
It takes very little imagination to ….It takes even less imagination to ...
推薦理由:
這個(gè)句型看起來很簡(jiǎn)單,但我們一般不會(huì)想到先用little表示極少,再用less表示比little還少。兩個(gè)句子排列工整,可以用在說理部分,用來描述一個(gè)不言自明、顯而易見的情況
原創(chuàng)例句:
1. It takes very little imagination to foresee how fast competition in the adulthood would turn vicious; it takes even less imagination to foresee in what way vicious competition would influence friendships.
1.幾乎沒有想象力就能預(yù)見成年后的競(jìng)爭(zhēng)會(huì)變得多么惡毒; 只需花費(fèi)更少的想象力就可以預(yù)見惡性競(jìng)爭(zhēng)將以何種方式影響友誼。
2. It takes little imagination to visualize what people would be like if they do not have access to education. It takes even less imagination to visualize what a country would be like if its people are, through no fault of their own, ignorant.
2.幾乎沒有想象力就可以想象人們?nèi)绻麤]有受教育的機(jī)會(huì)會(huì)是什么樣子。 如果一個(gè)國家沒有自己的過失而無知,那么想象一個(gè)國家會(huì)是什么樣子,甚至需要更少的想象力。
3. It takes little imagination to foresee that people’s awareness will soon be enhanced. It takes even less imagination to foresee that governments of different countries will take joint efforts and sponsor more scientific researches against the exacerbating environment.
3.幾乎沒有想象力就能預(yù)見到人們的意識(shí)將很快增強(qiáng)。 可以預(yù)見,各國政府將共同努力,并在日益惡化的環(huán)境中資助更多的科學(xué)研究,這需要更少的想象力。
學(xué)以致用:
1. Competition between friends always has negative influence on their friendship.
這道題簡(jiǎn)直不能同意更多,成年朋友之間一有競(jìng)爭(zhēng)就容易友盡。用例句的話說就是,不難想象成年人之間的競(jìng)爭(zhēng)很快就會(huì)升級(jí)成撕逼大戰(zhàn),更不難猜競(jìng)爭(zhēng)變味后的朋友還能不能好好玩耍。
2. Improving schools is the most important factor for the successful development of a country.
古話說得好,教育是國之根本,沒文化真可怕。一個(gè)人沒受過教育會(huì)是啥樣,一個(gè)國家的人都沒文化這個(gè)國家又會(huì)是啥樣,敢想嗎?所以這道題就同意唄,改善學(xué)校是國家成功發(fā)展的重要因素。
3. The most important problems that affect our society can be solved within our lifetime.
現(xiàn)在人類煩心的事是什么?看看帝都人民發(fā)明的APEC blue就知道了,環(huán)境啊。那環(huán)境問題能不能在我們有生之年解決呢?當(dāng)然了,都已經(jīng)水深火熱成這樣了,人民的環(huán)保意識(shí)肯定會(huì)提高啊,過年過節(jié)放鞭炮的都少了;基層人民都行動(dòng)了,各國還好意思圍觀么,當(dāng)然得行動(dòng)起來了。當(dāng)年的敦霧霾一世紀(jì)就緩過來了,我們現(xiàn)在科技這么發(fā)達(dá),心情這么迫切,很有可能環(huán)境問題幾十年就解決了。所以這道題答yes就行了。
【托福寫作】怎樣合理安排托福作文的時(shí)間和字?jǐn)?shù)
托福寫作部分考查考生在學(xué)術(shù)領(lǐng)域中的英文寫作能力。通??忌枰谜n上學(xué)到的知識(shí)寫論文和作文。這要求考生能夠?qū)⒄n堂,講座內(nèi)容與閱讀教材和其他材料相結(jié)合,這種類型的寫作被稱為綜合寫作。在這種寫作題型中,考生必須:
對(duì)聽到和看到的材料做筆記,在寫作前利用筆記組織信?準(zhǔn)確地從原文材料中總結(jié)、釋義和引用信息
寫出聽到的信息與讀到的信息之間是如何聯(lián)系的
考生還必須會(huì)寫表達(dá)并支持自己觀點(diǎn)的論文,這種類型被稱為獨(dú)立寫作。在這種寫作題型中,考生需要依據(jù)自身的知識(shí)和經(jīng)歷表達(dá)并支持一種觀點(diǎn)。
無論是綜合寫作還是獨(dú)立寫作,都需要遵循一定的寫作規(guī)則。眾所周知,一篇文章有三個(gè)基本組成部分:引言、主體和結(jié)論。那么如何將這三個(gè)部分完美地銜接在一起,寫出一篇語句通順,邏輯清晰的文章呢?遵循下面五個(gè)步驟,讓你的文章改頭換面,更上一層樓!
1、理清文章思路
在開始寫作之前,先在草稿紙上寫一個(gè)簡(jiǎn)短的概要或提取一些關(guān)鍵點(diǎn),來幫助自己整理思路。這將有助于文章條理清晰。你也可以直接在電腦的答題區(qū)打出提綱或筆記,然后從這些點(diǎn)出發(fā),擴(kuò)充寫更多句子和段落使行文豐滿。
2、確定主要論點(diǎn)
論點(diǎn)是引導(dǎo)文章的主要思想或觀點(diǎn),讀者可以從文章論點(diǎn)中了解你想要表達(dá)的關(guān)鍵信息。無需贅言,你只需用一句話闡明論點(diǎn),簡(jiǎn)明扼要地表達(dá)論述思路即可。
3、注重寫作質(zhì)量
不知道你在寫作文時(shí)有沒有過這樣的經(jīng)歷:寫著寫著就剎不住筆,文章越來越長而且偏離初衷。實(shí)際上,相較于冗長的文章而言,寫一篇結(jié)構(gòu)清楚、邏輯通順的文章來展現(xiàn)自身的語言掌握程度,往往得分會(huì)更高。
你也可以學(xué)習(xí)優(yōu)秀文章、段落的組織方式。一個(gè)好的段落通常會(huì)在第一句(即主題句)提出論點(diǎn),且整段均圍繞這一要點(diǎn)展開論述,論點(diǎn)不同的各個(gè)段落組織在一起即強(qiáng)化文章的中心觀點(diǎn)。
試著盡可能使用短句,不同段落表達(dá)不同的觀點(diǎn),注意段落之間的過渡銜接。
4、認(rèn)真仔細(xì)校對(duì)
帶上“火眼金睛”,要預(yù)留充足的時(shí)間來仔細(xì)閱讀寫好的文章,盡可能找出你可能會(huì)犯的任何拼寫錯(cuò)誤或語法錯(cuò)誤。
5、不斷計(jì)時(shí)練習(xí)
考試前,你可以用托福官網(wǎng)提供的免費(fèi)樣題來訓(xùn)練自己限時(shí)寫作的能力。適當(dāng)練習(xí)后,相信在考試當(dāng)天你就不會(huì)因時(shí)間限制而感到緊張了。
為了確保考試絕對(duì)公平,托福寫作采用eRater自動(dòng)化評(píng)分技術(shù)輔助人工評(píng)分的方式,以全面準(zhǔn)確地反映應(yīng)試者的英語寫作能力。將評(píng)分員對(duì)作文內(nèi)容和意義的理解及自動(dòng)化評(píng)分系統(tǒng)對(duì)語言表達(dá)的評(píng)分結(jié)合在一起,確保了分?jǐn)?shù)的質(zhì)量和高標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。
正因如此,托??荚嚹軒椭阍谏暾?qǐng)者中脫穎而出,向?qū)W校展示你身上額外獨(dú)具的閃光點(diǎn)。大學(xué)招生官會(huì)注意到這一點(diǎn)。
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