托福寫作話題解析及范文：關(guān)于20年后
為了幫助大家高效備考托福，熟悉托福寫作范文，下面小編給大家?guī)硗懈懽髟掝}解析及范文：關(guān)于20年后，希望對大家托福備考有所幫助。
托福寫作范文:20年后人們將使用比現(xiàn)在更少的車
首先，綜合寫作改套路了，聽力不再去反駁閱讀了，而是去回答閱讀中的問題。而獨(dú)立寫作的題目里竟然出現(xiàn)了一行小字： Be sure to use your own words. Do not use memorized example. 哦買尷!這簡直就是繼乒乓球由小改大后專為淪陷亞洲人而設(shè)計的規(guī)則變更嘛!帝國主義亡我之心不死啊!
寶寶們別慌。今天，我們就來給各位獻(xiàn)上高分作文剖析。
(閱讀提示：請大家先整體讀一遍TPO35的題目及范文，后面會有我的分段解析)
TPO 35
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
大神文章：
The Earth today faces many problems. Among these problems, the top three, in some people's perspective, are probably global warming, pollution and energy crisis. All three, if we really look into them, can be connected with the pervasive use of private cars. It is because of this, I agree with the statement that there will be fewer cars in twenty years comparing with today.
First of all, people will definitely use fewer cars. If we look at the global media, we are seeing an increasing consciousness on environmental problems. Be it the famous documentay by Al Gore, An Inconvenient Truth, or the "Earth One Hour" movement. They all indicate a global consensus: "We need to help the environment". So what's the easiest way to help? Using fewer cars. According to a survey conducted by the Ministry of Environmental Conservation in China, more than 40 percent of carbon dioxide produced by individuals are from private cars. If the trend of eco-friendly consciousness continues to grow in the next 20 years, people will, without a doubt, use fewer and fewer cars. So, in a nutshell, the first reason why people will drive less in twenty years is because they will be more environmentally-concerned.
Another key aspect is that, in twenty years, there will be fewer people in the world. If there are fewer people in the world, of course there will be fewer cars. If we are sensitive to global trends, we can see that a lot of countries in the world are facing a decrease in population. The biggest contributors to population growth, China and India, are also experiencing a decrease in the rate of population increase. In 20 years, I am confident that there will be, without a doubt, fewer people in the world. In this case, there will be a decrease in the needs of transportation. So, it is logical to assume that there will be fewer cars in the world twenty years from now.
A final argument I want to make is based on the ever developing technology. In the past twenty years, we have seen tremendous innovations taken place in the field of transportation. From high-speed trains to cars that run on electric, there is simply no telling what might happen twenty years from now. Considering how much we have achieved in the past twenty years, it is not so improbable for me to say that we might not even need cars in the near future. Who's to say that we won't be traveling on more efficient vehicles? Or maybe public transportation may become so convenient that we won't even consider using private transportation ever again? The fact is, we cannot deny these possibilities for they are very likely to happen. In this light, I am definitely supportive of the view that there will be fewer cars in the future.
From my arguments above, I think I am very optimistic about the future. I believe that, in twenty years, we will be living in a society with much fewer cars. And I am looking forward to that future.
首先我們來破題。
這是傳統(tǒng)的獨(dú)立寫作題型，由三句話組成：第一句 “Do you agree or disagree with the following statement”是考生要完成的task，第二句 “In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today”是寫作話題topic，第三句 “Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer” 是題目給你的requirement。所有考生都知道一篇作文必須“扣題”，在托福作文里就是去扣這三句話。這樣一說，你是不是立馬理解了5分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)里的前兩條了?
第一條“Effectively addresses the topic and task”，就是指扣題目里的前兩句話。 第二條“Is well organized and well developed, using clearly appropriate explanations, exemplifications and/or details” 就是扣題目里的第三句話。讀到這里，請各位寶寶們反思一句：扣題，你真的做到了嗎?
因此，我們在寫這道題時，就一定要緊緊扣住“20年后人們將使用比現(xiàn)在更少的車”這個話題，并呈現(xiàn)這樣的分段：開頭段一定要提出自己是否同意這個觀點(diǎn)，正文段用reasons和examples去論證自己的觀點(diǎn)，再用結(jié)尾段收束整篇文章，搞定。
再看看姚神的，啊呀，與我的分段方式不謀而合呢!開頭段立論，3個正文段發(fā)展，結(jié)尾段收束——完美!有沒有發(fā)現(xiàn)很好地符合了5分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)第二條里面的“is well organized”?童鞋們現(xiàn)在還敢不敢亂分段了?哼(傲嬌臉)。哈哈，接下來再細(xì)看每一段吧~
文章分析
01
The Earth today faces many problems. Among these problems, the top three, in some people's perspective, are probably global warming, pollution and energy crisis. All three, if we really look into them, can be connected with the pervasive use of private cars. It is because of this, I agree with the statement that there will be fewer cars in twenty years comparing with today.
開頭段最核心的功能是“立論”，也即回答題目的第一句話，表明自己的觀點(diǎn)是同意還是不同意。姚神開頭段的最后一句就是個明確的立論：同意題目觀點(diǎn)。當(dāng)然姚神在立論前還做了lead-in，作用是告訴大家寫這篇文章的背景，引起讀者興趣。不過請注意，各位同學(xué)可別硬拽高端寫法。如果你的打字速度呵呵噠，那么為師強(qiáng)烈建議第一段直接立論;否則正文段沒時間好好寫，那可就得不償失啦。
02
First of all, people will definitely use fewer cars. If we look at the global media, we are seeing an increasing consciousness on environmental problems. Be it the famous documentay by Al Gore, An Inconvenient Truth, or the "Earth One Hour" movement. They all indicate a global consensus: "We need to help the environment". So what's the easiest way to help? Using fewer cars. According to a survey conducted by the Ministry of Environmental Conservation in China, more than 40 percent of carbon dioxide produced by individuals are from private cars. If the trend of eco-friendly consciousness continues to grow in the next 20 years, people will, without a doubt, use fewer and fewer cars. So, in a nutshell, the first reason why people will drive less in twenty years is because they will be more environmentally-concerned.
正文段的作用是啥?論證你的觀點(diǎn)。換句話說，論證你的第一段立論。你第一段立的啥論，后面就要一門心思去證明它。如果正文段與第一段沒有完美印證，而是走歪了，那就違反了5分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)里第三條的第一個詞 “unity”(統(tǒng)一、一致)。此外，用啥論證?題目要求里不說了么，reasons and examples. 看看姚神這段，以段落中部的according to a survey為分界點(diǎn)，前面是reason，后面是example，是不是正中5分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的下懷呢?曾經(jīng)有同學(xué)問我：“老師，一定要寫example嗎?我覺得老寫my cousin Tom好low啊……”答案請見姚神作文，example不一定非要寫cousin Tom或者隔壁老王嘛，你也可以寫一個survey啊。當(dāng)然，前提是，你真真切切地了解一個真實(shí)的survey，你可別到考場上自己胡編亂造啊。胡編亂造的最大特別就是細(xì)節(jié)缺失，而考場臨時湊出來的survey絕對會細(xì)節(jié)缺失，一看就是假的，想給你分都難啊!
最后，嘿嘿，不得不請大家注意一下，有木有發(fā)現(xiàn)姚神第3句的documentary打錯了，少了個字母 “r”?哈哈，其實(shí)呢，這種不影響讀者理解的小筆誤，就是5分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)里第四條的minor lexical errors(微小的單詞錯誤)，是不會影響你拿滿分噠!
03
Another key aspect is that, in twenty years, there will be fewer people in the world. If there are fewer people in the world, of course there will be fewer cars. If we are sensitive to global trends, we can see that a lot of countries in the world are facing a decrease in population. The biggest contributors to population growth, China and India, are also experiencing a decrease in the rate of population increase. In 20 years, I am confident that there will be, without a doubt, fewer people in the world. In this case, there will be a decrease in the needs of transportation. So, it is logical to assume that there will be fewer cars in the world twenty years from now.
再看姚神的第二個正文段。大家細(xì)看一下我挑出來的這些詞：another key aspect, if, in 20 years, in this case, so. 有沒有發(fā)現(xiàn)有啥共同點(diǎn)?沒錯，它們都有連接作用，凸顯前后文邏輯。很多同學(xué)在表達(dá)觀點(diǎn)時，不擅長使用連接詞，導(dǎo)致觀點(diǎn)之間邏輯不緊密，讓人感覺不到在一步步論證自己的觀點(diǎn)。這就與5分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)第三條里的兩個詞 “progression(進(jìn)展)”和 “coherence(連貫)”相悖。當(dāng)然，如果你寫了一堆連接詞，但其實(shí)句意根本不是那層邏輯，那也是完全沒用的。比如：“我喜歡吃蘋果，所以我媽種了很多桔子?！边@個句子里確實(shí)有連接詞“所以”，然而這邏輯——這位同學(xué)是在逗我嗎?你好歹也要加個背景“我是撿來的”吧!
04
A final argument I want to make is based on the ever developing technology. In the past twenty years, we have seen tremendous innovations taken place in the field of transportation. From high-speed trains to cars that run on electric, there is simply no telling what might happen twenty years from now. Considering how much we have achieved in the past twenty years, it is not so improbable for me to say that we might not even need cars in the near future. Who's to say that we won't be traveling on more efficient vehicles? Or maybe public transportation may become so convenient that we won't even consider using private transportation ever again? The fact is, we cannot deny these possibilities for they are very likely to happen. In this light, I am definitely supportive of the view that there will be fewer cars in the future.
第三個正文段——說到這會有同學(xué)打斷我：“老師，我能不能只寫兩個正文段?”可以呀，大家看姚神這篇作文511個字，是大家在考場上能望其項背的么?能打400字就是考神附體了好么!所以，只寫兩個正文段，只要扣題了，發(fā)展清楚了，沒有問題噠~~另外說下姚神這段的語言，用了兩個rhetorical questions修辭性疑問句，在漢語里我們稱之為“反問句”或“設(shè)問句”。這非常好地滿足了5分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)里第四條的syntactic variety句法多樣性。說到這里，有沒有發(fā)現(xiàn)姚神這篇作文真的是360度全景符合5分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)呢!
05
From my arguments above, I think I am very optimistic about the future. I believe that, in twenty years, we will be living in a society with much fewer cars. And I am looking forward to that future.
再看最后一段，最后一段其實(shí)在托福寫作中的作用不大，收束全文再次點(diǎn)題即可。姚神的這段結(jié)尾除了中規(guī)中矩地收束以外，還加了句對未來的展望 “I am looking forward to that future”。但是還是提醒大家別在展望上寫太多哈，為師擔(dān)心你把展望寫成了一個新觀點(diǎn)，但卻沒有展開它，那可就違背了well developed這一點(diǎn)啦。還是那句老話，高端寫法別硬拽，乖乖把時間留下來去發(fā)展正文段吧~
托福寫作題目分析：20年后人們將有更多休閑時間
今天需要練習(xí)的寫作題目:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In twenty years, people will have more leisure time.
--2007.6.9
先針對如上寫作題目寫句子
在我看來，人們將來肯定會擁有更多的休閑時間。因?yàn)榭萍及l(fā)展速度驚人，以至于處理很多工作時都會更加地高效、省時、便捷。
翻譯：
答案： In my point of view, people will definitely have more leisure time in the future, because technology has been developing at so fast a rate that it will be more efficient and, hence, time-saving for people to deal with most of their work.
漢英翻譯練習(xí)對應(yīng)的段落：
模擬主干段
(1)在我看來，人們將來肯定會擁有更多的休閑時間。
(2)因?yàn)榭萍及l(fā)展速度驚人，以至于處理很多工作時都會更加地高效、省時、便捷。
(3)二十年前的人們不敢想象每個人的辦公桌上都有一臺強(qiáng)大的電腦---需要用手填寫的一天的表格，現(xiàn)在用計算機(jī)往往只需要一小時就能完成;盡管我并不知道，二十年后我們將用什么樣的高科技工具來提高工作效率，但進(jìn)一步提高閑暇時間是肯定的。
(4)如果你回顧中國公共假日的歷史，從每周休息一天，到一天半，最后演化到現(xiàn)在的雙休日---你就會贊同社會進(jìn)步對人們閑暇時間的增加的確很有促進(jìn)。
托福寫作語料庫：20年后學(xué)生們是否不再使用紙媒書籍
【觀點(diǎn)類】
In twenty years from now, students will not use printed books any more. 20年以后，學(xué)生們將不再使用紙媒書籍，是否認(rèn)同? (2009年3月29 日)
【題目解析】20年以后，學(xué)生們不再使用紙媒書籍 = 電子書籍可以完全取得紙媒閱讀，是否同意?
【作家立場】電子書籍有其優(yōu)勢，但是，紙媒書籍依然不會被代替，尤其是對于學(xué)生而言。
【寫作思路】讓步反駁：三分讓步;七分反駁
【新東方網(wǎng)薛鵬思路拓展】
紙媒書籍存在的理由和不可替代性：
1. 無論電子閱讀多么便利和有趣，很多學(xué)生改變不了用紙媒書籍學(xué)習(xí)的習(xí)慣。例如，我的同齡人，他們不習(xí)慣也不喜歡電子書，尤其是以電子書作為教科書，因?yàn)殡娮娱喿x極其不便，無法隨時地做標(biāo)記和筆記。
2. 對比其他的電子讀物，傳統(tǒng)的紙媒有其優(yōu)勢。具體而言，很多電子小說可隨意發(fā)表，質(zhì)量難保證，但是，紙媒書籍，比較而言，內(nèi)容優(yōu)質(zhì)。 例如，作為文學(xué)愛好者，我喜歡閱讀文學(xué)作品， 網(wǎng)絡(luò)小說很少吸引我，因?yàn)槠鋬?nèi)容比較庸俗，文筆很差，極少帶來閱讀快感。相反，我自己喜歡閱讀一本名為《作家》的雜志，我不讀網(wǎng)絡(luò)雜志，因?yàn)槟玫揭槐拘聲母杏X很踏實(shí)，淡淡的墨香激發(fā)我立刻閱讀的興趣。
手機(jī)閱讀或網(wǎng)絡(luò)閱讀的利好：(讓步段)
我承認(rèn)，電子閱讀也有其流行的理由，例如：儲存量大，攜帶便利，價格低廉，資源豐富，比較環(huán)保。但是，我想反駁的是：電子閱讀也有其弊端。比如，長期接觸電子輻射有害視力，另外，電子書庫信息量很大，有時候，我們反而無從選擇自己的喜歡的書籍。
【尾段總結(jié)】電子閱讀僅僅是傳統(tǒng)閱讀的一種有效的補(bǔ)充，而非替代品。
【新東方網(wǎng)薛鵬原創(chuàng)語料庫】
【基礎(chǔ)寫作語料庫】
1. printed books n印刷書籍
2. e-reading n電子閱讀
3. deeply rooted reading habit n 根深蒂固的閱讀習(xí)慣
4. can never replace traditional way of reading v永遠(yuǎn)無法代替?zhèn)鹘y(tǒng)的閱讀方式
5. A and B are not mutually exclusive …… 和 …… 不是互相排斥的
【新東方網(wǎng)薛鵬原創(chuàng)語料庫】
1. The past century has witnessed tremendous technological progress and these changes re-shaped some people’s reading choices. 一百年來，科技在進(jìn)步，這種進(jìn)步也改變了很多人的閱讀選擇。
解析：tremendous = great 巨大的
2. People still read, however，some people might have different preferences such as on-line reading or appreciating their favorite books via the cell phone 人們依然在閱讀，但是，人們的喜好也許在變化，例如很多人喜歡網(wǎng)絡(luò)閱讀和手機(jī)閱讀。
解析：via prep通過
3. Some people argue that if the popularity of e-reading keeps expanding at current rate, our reading will be dominated by on-line or cell phone reading two decades later 有人認(rèn)為如果電子閱讀以這樣的速度上升，20年后，手機(jī)閱讀和網(wǎng)絡(luò)閱讀最終將會占據(jù)主導(dǎo)地位。
4. It is true that the number of reading printed books is， to some extent，declining, but, this trend does not necessarily indicate conventional way of reading will give way to e-reading. 的確，那些閱讀印刷書籍的人數(shù)在一定程度上減少，但是，這不一定意味著電子閱讀會取代傳統(tǒng)閱讀。
5. The quality of many e-books cannot be ensured because almost every individual can publish articles on line，conversely，reading printed books with excellent contents can stir readers’ imagination, tap their creativity and deepen their insights into their lives. 因?yàn)閹缀跞巳丝梢园l(fā)表網(wǎng)絡(luò)文章，所以，很多電子讀物的質(zhì)量難以保障，相反，閱讀內(nèi)容優(yōu)質(zhì)的紙媒書籍可以激發(fā)人的想象力，開發(fā)人的創(chuàng)造性，加深人對于生活的洞察。
6. Indeed，I have to concede that many readers，especially teenagers, seem to be drawn to the popular e-reading.我承認(rèn)，很多人，尤其是青少年讀者，似乎被被流行的電子閱讀所吸引。
7. Nonetheless，I want to rebut that on no account can we neglect the downsides triggered by e-reading. 但是，我想反駁的是任何情況下我們不能忽視電子閱讀帶來的弊端。
8. First，as for some of my peers，it is hard for them to change deeply rooted habit of reading printed books or newspapers. 對于我的很多同齡人而言，他們很難改變根深蒂固的閱讀紙媒的習(xí)慣。
9. No matter how convenient or amusing e-reading is，I still have a preference for reading printed newspapers and magazines.無論電子閱讀多么便利和有趣，我依然喜歡閱讀印刷版的報紙雜志。
10. For example，as a literature fancier，I take keen interest in reading a magazine entitled Writer，I can either read printed book or and enjoy on-line magazine， however， I still have a sentimental attachment to the traditional way of reading 例如，我是文學(xué)發(fā)燒友，很喜歡閱讀一本名為《作家》的雜志，我可以選擇購買書籍，也可以選擇網(wǎng)絡(luò)閱讀，但是，我始終對于傳統(tǒng)的閱讀方式更加依賴.
解析：have a sentimental attachment to 對于……有情感的依戀
11. The ink fragrance of the book never fails to make me feel at ease, when holding a newly published magazine, I usually have an impulse of browsing the book and make some personal notes immediately .一本新書散發(fā)著墨香，拿在手里，比較踏實(shí)，我可以隨時筆記。
解析：make me feel at ease v使我感到心安
12. E-books enjoy their unique merits. To name just a few, e-books have large storage room, are easy to carry, have rich on-line resources and so on 電子閱讀有其獨(dú)有的利好, 例如，電子書存儲量大，攜帶便利，資源豐富等等。
13. Seen from the perspective of health, chronic exposure to the screen might impair one’s eyesight 從健康的角度而言，長期接觸電子輻射有害視力。
解析：chronic adj 長期的
解析：impair one’s eyesight v 有害視力
14. With the availability of an ocean of e-books，sometimes，it is hard for readers to select their favorite books. 電子書庫信息量很大，有時候，讀者反而無從選擇他們的喜歡的書籍。
15. The ideal learning effect created by printed books can never be matched by e-reading. 使用紙媒書籍，效果更佳，電子閱讀，難以實(shí)現(xiàn)。
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