雙語(yǔ)文摘提出建議和接受建議，您哪方面更在行
關(guān)于建議的頭號(hào)法則：帶著一種健康的懷疑精神去聽。接下來(lái)，小編給大家準(zhǔn)備了雙語(yǔ)文摘提出建議和接受建議，您哪方面更在行,歡迎大家參考與借鑒。
雙語(yǔ)文摘提出建議和接受建議，您哪方面更在行
Advice is a funny thing.
Some people seem to have a constant surplus of it, and offer it non-stop to those around them, even when it is unsolicited or unwelcome.
Others are on the receiving end of lots of advice from others, but they rarely take any of it.
A very common example of “askhole” behavior occurs in the teenage years. Teenagers’ parents can become constant broadcasters of advice, and the younger folks develop ever more sophisticated skills for appearing to listen (or perhaps not even bothering with this pretense) while actually turning down the volume of the incoming messages to nearly zero. In most cases, teenagers are rarely soliciting advice from their parents. It just flows, like a river in flood.
I’ve heard experienced parents whose children are now fully grown, say that even when teenagers seem to be in a tunnel which parental communication signals seem unable to penetrate, parents should still keep on offering their unsolicited wisdom, perspectives, and advice. The theory goes, that even in the absence of acknowledgement, let alone agreement, a certain degree of the message still seeps through in the long run.
On the other hand, like all advice, this depends on the tone and mode of delivery. There is a fine line between advice, for example, and nagging. Some people tend to take good advice and deliver it in such a way that it sounds like, and is heard as, nagging. Advice transformed into nagging is usually excessively repetitive, critical rather than constructive in tone, sometimes condescending, and usually a one-way street (ie lacking an invitation for feedback or response such as “What do you think?”).
The teenager-parent context is a somewhat special one, but giving and receiving advice pervades our professional and personal lives. If you think about your friends and associates, they probably include people who either give too much advice, including on subjects where their expertise is doubtful, or offer advice in an unhelpful tone –e.g. bossy or condescending. You’ll probably also find friends and associates who ignored some very good advice and got themselves into a pickle as a result.
It is not instinctive for us to ask for advice. There are face issues involved, and potential embarrassment, especially in the workplace. On the other hand, we deny ourselves a lot of learning opportunities by remaining like ostriches with our head in the sand, and being afraid to ask advice from those with richer experience that we have.
My motto is “The only dumb questions are the ones you’re afraid to ask.” I was fortunate at an early stage in my career to have frequent access to quite a few experienced old hands in my field, many of whom were 25 to 30 years my senior. I asked a lot of questions of them, and by and large, they were delighted to share their experience. I learned a lot from these mentors.
Young people often don’t realize that one of the dividends older people value most is having young people ask for their advice. Instead they hold back from asking, preoccupied by thoughts about how so-and-so is so busy, so well known, so highly respected, on such a higher status plane than me, etc. Sometimes we forget, they are just people, and they were our age once.
Having said that, I of course also recognize that some corporate leaders project an imperial image which intimidates and warns against junior people coming close or asking for advice. If that’s the case, look elsewhere for your advice.
As the quote above suggests, we should usually take advice with a grain of salt, and filter it to our own specific circumstances. There are plenty of times when the advice we receive is just plain wrong for us at that point in time, and should be ignored. Part of growing up is developing the judgment, critical thinking skills, and the courage to make these determinations.
I can think of a number of times when friends and associates cautioned me against a certain business or investment move. Despite that, I trusted my instincts and went ahead, and it turned out to be the right move after all.
Asking for advice in a hyper-competitive work environment, where trust is in short supply has its risks, to be sure. Someone you thought could be trusted might turn out to be otherwise, and use your request for advice against you in some way. Learning how and when to take that risk is part of self-development. If you don’t try, you won’t learn.
If you develop a trusting relationship with a colleague or associate, the giving and receiving of advice builds a stronger bond and helps both parties grow.
When giving or receiving advice, the magic word is R-E-S-P-E-C-T. On both sides of this two-way street, conducting yourself in a consciously respectful manner will open doors time and again, in a rewarding and fulfilling way.
The moral of the story is that for personal and professional fulfillment, we all need to strive to be effective givers and takers of advice.
建議是個(gè)有趣的東西。
有些人似乎永遠(yuǎn)建議多多，總愛不停地給身邊人提出忠告，哪怕人家并沒有要求也并不歡迎。
還有的人愛從別人那兒網(wǎng)羅各種建議，卻甚少采納。
典型的“askhole”行為多發(fā)于青少年時(shí)期。青少年的父母開始啟動(dòng)“碎碎念”模式，而孩子們假裝聆聽卻自動(dòng)靜音的本領(lǐng)也愈發(fā)爐火純青(有時(shí)甚至連裝都懶得裝一下)。大多情況下，青少年很少征求父母的建議。這種情況就如滔滔江水，一發(fā)不可收拾。
聽兒女已經(jīng)長(zhǎng)大成人的“過(guò)來(lái)人”說(shuō)，即使青少年“藏身”于父母之命無(wú)法滲透的“隧道”，父母仍應(yīng)堅(jiān)持主動(dòng)分享自己的智慧、看法和建議。他們的理論是，即使不被認(rèn)可，更不消說(shuō)被贊同，但長(zhǎng)此以往，這些信息在某種程度上還是可以形成潛移默化的影響。
另一方面，和所有建議一樣，這還要取決于表達(dá)的口吻和方式，就好像建議和嘮叨之間只有一線之差。有些人接受好的建議后，卻會(huì)用聽上去像、實(shí)際上也是嘮叨的方式表達(dá)出來(lái)。建議變成了嘮叨，通常是因?yàn)橹貜?fù)次數(shù)過(guò)多，口氣上指責(zé)多過(guò)建設(shè)性意見，有時(shí)甚至有紆尊降貴之感，且總是單向的(不給對(duì)方反饋的機(jī)會(huì)，例如問(wèn)一句“你覺得呢?”)。
雖然青少年父母的情況比較特殊，但提出和接受建議貫穿了我們職業(yè)和個(gè)人生活的始終。想想你的朋友和同事，其中有人可能對(duì)自己并不專業(yè)的問(wèn)題都敢建議多多，也有人愛用發(fā)號(hào)施令、趾高氣昂的腔調(diào)提出于事無(wú)補(bǔ)的建議，還有人因忽略了金玉良言而讓自己陷入困頓。
征求意見并非我們的本能。這里面摻雜了“面子”問(wèn)題和潛在的尷尬，特別是在職場(chǎng)。另一方面，我們排斥掉很多學(xué)習(xí)的機(jī)會(huì)，像鴕鳥一樣把頭埋在沙里，害怕向經(jīng)驗(yàn)比自己豐富的人請(qǐng)教。
“真正愚蠢的問(wèn)題是沒敢問(wèn)出的問(wèn)題”一直是我的座右銘。我很幸運(yùn)，在剛參加工作時(shí)就接觸到很多業(yè)內(nèi)資深人士，他們大都比我年長(zhǎng)25到30歲。我向他們請(qǐng)教過(guò)很多問(wèn)題，總體上他們也都樂于和我分享自己的經(jīng)驗(yàn)。從這些導(dǎo)師身上我學(xué)到了很多。
年輕人往往不知道，年長(zhǎng)者最有價(jià)值的紅利之一就是讓年輕人征求他們的意見。雖然知道他們并不會(huì)阻止年輕人提問(wèn)，但我們總是先入為主地認(rèn)為某某人太忙、太有名、太德高望重、地位比自己高太多。但有時(shí)我們卻忘了，他們也是人，也曾經(jīng)和我們年齡相仿。
話雖如此，但我也承認(rèn)有些企業(yè)領(lǐng)導(dǎo)為塑造威嚴(yán)的形象，恐嚇和警告年輕人不要靠近和發(fā)問(wèn)。如果是這樣的話，你就去別處求教好了。
如開篇引語(yǔ)所言，接受建議時(shí)我們應(yīng)該有所保留，根據(jù)自身的實(shí)際情況加以過(guò)濾。很多時(shí)候我們得到的建議在那個(gè)時(shí)間點(diǎn)可能是完全錯(cuò)誤的，應(yīng)該忽略。形成判斷能力、掌握批判性思考的技能、樹立下定決心的勇氣都是成長(zhǎng)的一部分。
我記得有很多次，朋友和同事提醒我在某些業(yè)務(wù)和投資行動(dòng)上要謹(jǐn)慎。但我還是相信了自己的直覺，執(zhí)意推進(jìn)，最后證明行動(dòng)是正確的。
在競(jìng)爭(zhēng)激烈、信任匱乏的職場(chǎng)尋求建議肯定要冒一定風(fēng)險(xiǎn)。有些你以為可以信任的朋友，結(jié)果卻可能以某種方式利用你的提問(wèn)來(lái)反對(duì)你。學(xué)會(huì)在什么時(shí)候、如何來(lái)冒險(xiǎn)是自我成長(zhǎng)的一部分。如果不試試，就不可能學(xué)會(huì)。
如果你和同事建立起彼此信任的關(guān)系， 提出和接受建議可以增強(qiáng)你們的聯(lián)系，并有助于雙方的成長(zhǎng)。
在提出和接受建議時(shí)，咒語(yǔ)就是一個(gè)詞——“尊重”。在這條雙行道的兩側(cè)，有意識(shí)地保持尊重的態(tài)度會(huì)為你一次次打開回報(bào)和滿意之門。
從這篇文章中可以看出：要實(shí)現(xiàn)個(gè)人和事業(yè)的圓滿，我們都需要努力成為有效的建議提供者和接受者。
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