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托福獨(dú)立寫作讓步段的高分寫法

時(shí)間: 楚薇20 分享

寫好讓步段在托福獨(dú)立寫作中可以為我們加分,那么你知道托福獨(dú)立寫作讓步段的高分寫法嗎?一起來(lái)看看吧!  

托福獨(dú)立寫作讓步段的高分寫法  

讓步段1

Students can use their mobile phones to surf on the Internet or listen to the music while doing their homework.

Admittedly, some students claim that listening to music or surfing online can reduce the anxiety and tension while doing homework, but what you may not know is that people’s sub-consciousness is actually distracted, which not only slows down the progress of the work but also burdens their nerves. Hence, the real way to relax your mind is to kick off your shoes, sit back and listen to light or classical music after having finished the entire task rather than during the process.

本題其實(shí)是一個(gè)典型的一元素的題目,這個(gè)元素就是能否看手機(jī),我們可以把這個(gè)元素看成 a, 文章結(jié)構(gòu)就是先說(shuō) a 的兩個(gè)壞處,a1- a2-, 然后在讓步的時(shí)候說(shuō) a+,但是由于題目的立場(chǎng)是反對(duì),所有讓步可以以 a+ 開始,但是最后以 a- 結(jié)束,否則就會(huì)對(duì)自己的立場(chǎng)有一定的削弱。

讓步段1的示范

It is important for the government to allocate money on beautiful things, not just for things that are practical. [2014年5月24日]

Admittedly, some people claim that spending money on beautiful things can satisfy people’s higher level needs, but what you may not know is that the satisfaction of residents’ most basic needs might be compromised, which not only takes a heavy toll on their living conditions but also poses a major threat to the government with tight budget. Hence, there is no better way for a country to achieve successful development than to devote its budgets to practical needs.

本題是一個(gè)兩元素比較類的題目,元素 a 是美麗的東西,元素 b 是實(shí)際的東西,而立場(chǎng)是支持 b>a,所以讓步的時(shí)候我們就寫 a+ a- b+ 從說(shuō) a 的好處過(guò)渡到 b 好。這里面有幾個(gè)表達(dá)希望大家注意一下。主語(yǔ)從句結(jié)合not only but also 的結(jié)構(gòu):what you may not know is that..., which not only ... but also ....。以及 there is no better way for sb to do sth than to do sth 。還有 a take a heavy toll on b and a pose a major threat to b。

讓步段2

Students can benefit from student organization and club activities as much as from their academic studies.

Admittedly, academic study is of vital importance to every student, for it provides the basic and systematic knowledge to which we cannot be blind. However, to emphasize the importance of academic study does not mean that student organizations and club activities are dispensable. One who devotes himself to academic study without paying any attention to extra-curricular activities stands a fair chance to become a nerd with high IQ but low EQ, which is not an ideal case.

本題是一個(gè)經(jīng)典的 a=b 的題目,立場(chǎng)是支持 a>b 然后文章結(jié)構(gòu)依然是 a1+ a2+ b+ 兩個(gè)理由一個(gè)讓步的形式。讓步的時(shí)候 b+ b- a+ 的套路。這里面有些表達(dá)很不錯(cuò),比如:a is of vital importance to b, be blind to sth, to emphasize the importance of a does not mean that b is dispensable, stand a fair chance to do sth。這些表達(dá)希望大家重點(diǎn)記一下,然后融入到自己的讓步段的模板里面。幾個(gè)讓步稍微融合一下就可以避免跟別人撞車了。

讓步段2的示范

Visiting a museum is the best way to learn about a country.

Admittedly, paying a visit to a museum is of vital importance to learning about a country, for it provides the basic and systematic knowledge related to the country’s history to which we cannot be blind. However, to emphasize the importance of museums does not mean that other ways of getting to a country are of lesser importance. One who devotes himself to visiting museums without paying any attention to other ways stands a fair chance to lose sight of a country’s present magnificence, which is not an ideal case.

本題是一個(gè)多元素的題目,翻譯過(guò)來(lái)就是 a>b a>c a>d ... a>n, 我們的立場(chǎng)是不同意,所以最好找兩個(gè)不等式來(lái)證明他們是不成立的,比如:b>a c>a。我們可以寫上網(wǎng)這個(gè)方式很好啊,另外交友也是一個(gè)不錯(cuò)的方式啊。讓步承認(rèn)博物館有好處,可以讓我們了解一個(gè)國(guó)家的歷史,但是如果認(rèn)為其他方式不如它重要的話很可能不能夠了解國(guó)家現(xiàn)在的成就,這就不好了。這里面又出現(xiàn)了兩個(gè)新的短語(yǔ),lose sight of = be blind to 還有 be of lesser importance 跟 be of vital importance 正好相反。

讓步段3

Do you agree or disagree: governments should spend more money in sponsoring arts than in athletics.

Admittedly, the significance of arts cannot be overlooked; building up an artistic atmosphere is conducive to refining people’s artistic taste. If a society is artistically cultivated, hardly would its people’s souls be corrupted by materialism. However, compared with arts, athletics is more fundamental, i.e., without good health, people will not be able to make any great achievements including those in the area of arts. Thus, the vital importance of athletics is self-evident.

本題是一個(gè)兩元素的題目,兩個(gè)元素分別是藝術(shù)和體育,a>b。而本題的立場(chǎng)是支持 b>a。所以文章的結(jié)構(gòu)是 b1+ b2+ a+。讓步的時(shí)候依然是 a+ b+ 的結(jié)構(gòu)。這里面涉及到的比較不錯(cuò)的表達(dá)有:the significance of a cannot be overlooked, be conducive to, the vital importance of b is self-evident, 以及倒裝句 hardly would its people's souls be corrupted by materialism。

讓步段3的示范

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People who have learned many different skills are more likely to succeed than those who focus on learning only one skill. [2014年2月22日]

Admittedly, the significance of being versatile cannot be overlooked since it is conducive to increasing one’s competitive advantage in the workplace. If an individual has multiple skills, hardly would he or she be outstripped by others. However, compared with learning a variety of skills, zeroing in on one skill is more fundamental without which people will not be able to make any great achievements. Thus, the vital importance of concentrating on one skill is self-evident.

本題也是一個(gè)兩元素的題目,我們只要將模板中的相應(yīng)位置進(jìn)行合理的替換即可。替換的時(shí)候盡量用一些同義詞或者短語(yǔ)來(lái)避免重復(fù)。本段中也有幾個(gè)不錯(cuò)的表達(dá),比如:increase one's competitive advantage 以及 be outstripped by = be eclipsed by 還有 zero in on = focus on等等。希望大家注意總結(jié)哈。

托福獨(dú)立寫作以退為進(jìn)的“讓步段”寫法

俗話說(shuō)“知己知彼,百戰(zhàn)不殆”,想寫出漂亮的“讓步段”,你必須去了解“讓步段”的由來(lái)和寫法。今天,就讓蔡潤(rùn)光老師帶你學(xué)習(xí)“讓步段”!

對(duì)于一篇獨(dú)立寫作,主體段充分展開與否非常重要。在主體段段落安排時(shí),除了寫支持段(supporting paragraphs)也可以使用讓步段(concession)。考生不禁會(huì)問(wèn):究竟何為讓步段?為何要寫讓步段?具體如何寫讓步段?筆者蔡蔡將會(huì)一一解答。

究竟何為讓步段?

讓步段內(nèi)容會(huì)寫到支持面的弊端或?qū)α⒚娴膬?yōu)點(diǎn),貌似與立場(chǎng)相悖,南轅北轍;實(shí)則,讓步段并不是“搬石頭砸自己的腳”,而是為了“退一小步,近一大步”以退為進(jìn)地加強(qiáng)文章立場(chǎng)。

為何要寫讓步段?

實(shí)則是為了:內(nèi)容上更加充實(shí),邏輯上更加嚴(yán)密,思路上更加切題。

首先,段落展開內(nèi)容上不僅可以說(shuō)支持面的好處,也可以寫自身有何缺點(diǎn),或反方有何可取之處。這樣一來(lái),文章可寫內(nèi)容變多,更加充實(shí)。其次,在邏輯上也包含了辯證思考,正反分析。最后,對(duì)于題干中反面不可被忽略的題目,如二選一的利弊類題目,若沒有通過(guò)段內(nèi)對(duì)比的方式包含對(duì)立面,文章并未全面覆蓋題干信息,充分切題,但用讓步段可以將兩者兼顧。

具體如何寫讓步段?

01

欲揚(yáng)先抑(跟支持面讓步)

欲揚(yáng)先抑是指先承認(rèn)支持面不足,稍加解釋不足之后,轉(zhuǎn)折提出整體利大于弊,或不足之處可被避免。

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Technology has more positive effects than negative ones.

以本題為例,題目問(wèn)科技是否利大于弊。因?yàn)轭}目中包含了利弊兩個(gè)方面,不建議只寫利處或弊端,可以通過(guò)讓步段兼顧題目立場(chǎng)的弊端。本題若選擇支持立場(chǎng),可以先通過(guò)兩個(gè)主體段充分支持科技的好處,如1.科技促進(jìn)了人們之間的信息交流。2.科技給社會(huì)帶來(lái)諸多便利,省力省時(shí)。讓步段便可采用欲揚(yáng)先抑,即承認(rèn)科技有弊端,如占用過(guò)多的時(shí)間,面臨個(gè)人信息被盜的風(fēng)險(xiǎn),但是較之于整體獲得的便利,這些弊端可以忽略不計(jì)。事實(shí)上,只要合理規(guī)劃時(shí)間,上網(wǎng)時(shí)注意個(gè)人信息的保護(hù),這些弊端也可以避免。

該類讓步思路梳理清楚后,蔡蔡給大家補(bǔ)充一些常用表達(dá)。

承認(rèn)自身不足

Admittedly / Undoubtedly / There is no denying that / It cannot be denied that/It is true that(誠(chéng)然,不可否認(rèn)的是)支持面, to some extent(一定程度上), may/possibly/probably(或許) have one or two/a couple of/minor drawbacks/defects/demerits/shortcomings(不足)

稍加解釋不足:

For instance/for example/to illustrate,...

但整體利大于弊:

However/nevertheless/nonetheless/as a matter of fact然而

Its overall merits/benefits/advantages(整體好處) far outweigh/outnumber/overshadow(遠(yuǎn)大于)its demerits/defects/disadvantages(其弊端)

但弊端可以規(guī)避:

As a matter of fact/In fact, as long as 解決方案, the so-called negative effects/consequences can be avoided.

However, the problem can be solved by …

Actually, the negative influence can be eliminated by …

02

先禮后兵(跟對(duì)立面讓步)

先禮后兵是指承認(rèn)對(duì)立面好,稍加解釋后轉(zhuǎn)折讓步:沒支持面好或者有潛在弊端

Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork.

以本題為例,父母應(yīng)該利用難得的親子時(shí)光陪孩子做游戲或運(yùn)動(dòng),還是陪孩子做作業(yè)。若立場(chǎng)為支持父母陪孩子做游戲或運(yùn)動(dòng),可以有兩點(diǎn)支持:1.陪孩子做運(yùn)動(dòng)有助于孩子放松身心壓力2.陪孩子游戲或運(yùn)動(dòng)時(shí)可以促進(jìn)親子交流。讓步段可以和對(duì)立面讓步,即承認(rèn)陪孩子做作業(yè)有一定好處,比如有利于孩子鞏固所學(xué),提高學(xué)習(xí)成績(jī),但過(guò)多注重學(xué)習(xí)而忽略課外活動(dòng)會(huì)物極必反,孩子有可能變成沒有實(shí)用技能的書呆子。

同樣,簡(jiǎn)要梳理思路后,蔡蔡補(bǔ)充一些相關(guān)表達(dá)供大家參考。

承認(rèn)對(duì)立面好

Admittedly/Granted, 對(duì)立面have some merits which deserve some words here./I am not denying the significance of 對(duì)立面

稍加解釋對(duì)立面優(yōu)點(diǎn)

For instance/for example/to illustrate,...

但沒支持面好

However, compared with/in comparison with 支持面, it pales into significance.

However, its benefits are dwarfed by that of 支持面

但有潛在弊端

However, its seemingly beneficial aspects may turn out to be defective, even destructive.

However, overemphasis on 對(duì)立面 may result in some undesirable consequences.

托福寫作展開段落編不下去怎么辦

在雅思寫作中編例子這個(gè)活兒稍微編不好就跑題還不討考官的喜,換種方式考官還是不滿意,那么同學(xué)在TOEFL寫作的時(shí)候?yàn)榱苏归_段落編例子編不下去怎么辦呢?

那就不編了,我們換種方式。請(qǐng)follow我的腳步,我們一起來(lái)看看

首先,請(qǐng)各位記住一個(gè)公式:a+= b+/ b-/a+

“老師,這不是數(shù)學(xué)么?啥意思啊” let me explain

若段內(nèi)展開時(shí)你想說(shuō)a好,那么你可以先寫a的對(duì)立面b不錯(cuò),但是并不用展開討論,這時(shí)候馬上說(shuō)b的不好,論證結(jié)束時(shí)說(shuō)顯然,還是a最好。 通過(guò)“對(duì)比說(shuō)理”來(lái)完成你的文章。好,下面我們來(lái)舉個(gè)例子說(shuō)明。

First, allowing children to make decisionson their own can strengthen the bonds. Sure, restricting children’s behaviorcan work like a charm to some extent, but if parents overstep, chances are thekid would end up frustrated and upset. However, things could be totally theopposite if children are allowed to choose their own path and follow their ownheart. A sense of trust will build up, and they are more likely to open up andnext time when problems show up they’d turn to parents for help.

解析:

這個(gè)段落當(dāng)中,不難發(fā)現(xiàn)t.s.句:結(jié)論前置,允許孩子自己做決策可以加強(qiáng)和父母之間的情感紐帶。這其實(shí)就是我們的a+,那么下面由sure,引導(dǎo)b+,誠(chéng)然限制孩子的行為也能起作用(注意請(qǐng)記下語(yǔ)料:work like a charm 起作用),不用展開馬上轉(zhuǎn)回,然而這樣做父母可能過(guò)度干涉孩子的隱私,導(dǎo)致孩子沮喪壓抑。說(shuō)完我們的b-之后 however連接,然而還是a更好,如果孩子可以追求自己的路,追尋自己的內(nèi)心的話,事情將會(huì)適得其反。他們會(huì)被信任而且問(wèn)題出現(xiàn)時(shí),孩子更愿意與父母溝通,敞開心扉。由此,我們可以清晰的看見本文的邏輯思路即:b+/b-/a+。全文并沒有通過(guò)舉例例證來(lái)展開文章,而是通過(guò)對(duì)比說(shuō)理來(lái)展開。好,那么這段寫到這里能得到滿分么?No,no,no,還沒這么簡(jiǎn)單。本段缺失了大量的細(xì)節(jié),比如家長(zhǎng)如何overstep?孩子為什么frustrated?孩子追尋怎么選擇自己的路怎么追尋了內(nèi)心呢?為什么她們更愿意敞開心扉呢?這些細(xì)節(jié),都沒有在全文展開。也就是說(shuō),邏輯思維成立,但缺失細(xì)節(jié),我們的文章也拿不到高分。

好,那如何展開細(xì)節(jié)呢?請(qǐng)小伙伴們讀讀下面的修改版段落(注意:請(qǐng)各位同學(xué)讀的過(guò)程中有意識(shí)的把細(xì)節(jié)用不同的顏色筆畫出來(lái)~~and 記住好的語(yǔ)言表達(dá)!!)

First, allowing children to make decisions on their own can strengthen the bonds.Sure, restricting children’s behavior can work like a charm to some extent, but it is not uncommon to spot generation gap around, where children refuse to share stuff with their parents. To trace back causes, parents are sometimes to blame. When parents prevent children from every activity that they think may cause harm, what message does it send to teenagers? They cannot be trusted and their parents have no faith in them. It is especially true for rebellious adolescents. They want to break free, hoping voices to be heard and actions to be understood. If parents fail to see that and overstep, chances are the kid would end up frustrated and upset. However,things could be totally the opposite if children are allowed to choose their own path and follow their own heart. When children get a say in choosing what kind of college major to pursue or choosing what kind of friends to hang outwith, they will feel that they’d being treated as adults. A sense of trust will build up, and they are more likely to open up and next time when problems show up they’d turn to parents for help.

解析:

紅色字體的內(nèi)容你能看出來(lái)是誰(shuí)的細(xì)節(jié)么?

Yes, 就是overstep和frustrated的細(xì)節(jié)! 父母怎么干涉的? 父母限制了所有可能對(duì)孩子有害的社交活動(dòng),孩子不被信任,父母對(duì)他們沒有信息。那么孩子呢?需要自由,需要自己的聲音被別人聽到,行為被別人理解(如果都沒有,他們最終崩潰)。滿滿的都是細(xì)節(jié)啊!

其次,孩子怎么追尋道路,如何遵從內(nèi)心呢? 孩子選擇了專業(yè)和選擇了朋友這就是細(xì)節(jié)啊!so,第二段滿滿的細(xì)節(jié)各位,你看懂了么?

托福寫作解析:容易出現(xiàn)的5個(gè)問(wèn)題

1、詞序問(wèn)題

尤其是副詞的位置。因?yàn)橛袝r(shí)候修飾詞位于句子中的位置不同,會(huì)引起句子的含義的變化。所以為了減少誤解和不必要的錯(cuò)誤,考生在下筆的時(shí)候要注意詞序問(wèn)題,句首、句中、句末要仔細(xì)斟酌。

2、詞匯搭配

很常見的問(wèn)題,就是考生寫的句子,如果一個(gè)一個(gè)拆開來(lái)看單個(gè)的單詞都沒問(wèn)題,整句句子可能就會(huì)產(chǎn)生問(wèn)題了。舉個(gè)最簡(jiǎn)單的例子:The price of the ticket is very cheap. 其實(shí)問(wèn)題說(shuō)到底還是沒有轉(zhuǎn)化語(yǔ)言思維,依然是中文翻英文。中文我們習(xí)慣表達(dá)票子價(jià)格很便宜,而英文里面對(duì)應(yīng)price的是high 和 low,這里就出現(xiàn)了詞匯搭配問(wèn)題。所以考生們平時(shí)記憶單詞的時(shí)候,一定要注意它的用法,看一些例句加深理解。

3、各種不一致

比如性數(shù)配合不一致,主謂不一致,時(shí)態(tài)不一致等等。這里就不多加舉例了。

4、指代不清

這是寫作中最為常見的問(wèn)題。歸根結(jié)底,還是在于考生以中文思路對(duì)待英語(yǔ)作文,習(xí)慣性地把中文翻譯成英文,所以最終出現(xiàn)了指代不清這一常見問(wèn)題。舉個(gè)最簡(jiǎn)單的例子,Many parents have cute girls, and they like to stay with each other.這里的they就是指代不清,究竟是many parents還是cute girls?其實(shí)這只是一個(gè)很簡(jiǎn)單的例子,很多時(shí)候沒有那么明顯的指代不清。尤其是當(dāng)考生喜歡用常常的定語(yǔ)從句的時(shí)候,指代不清的現(xiàn)象就更為突出。比如which的指代,究竟是指代前面的一個(gè)名詞,還是整句句子,考生在這一點(diǎn)上要尤為關(guān)注。

5、冗長(zhǎng)、累贅

考生有時(shí)候覺得使用一些同義替換會(huì)給文章增添色彩。誠(chéng)然這是對(duì)的,但是有時(shí)候考生過(guò)度地使用一些詞匯,使得文章看起來(lái)比較冗長(zhǎng)和累贅。比如:有時(shí)候使用As a matter of fact還不如使用Actually來(lái)得簡(jiǎn)潔??忌袝r(shí)候?qū)τ趶木湟蕾嚦潭冗^(guò)多,有時(shí)候可以用一個(gè)形容詞代替的就不要使用定語(yǔ)從句。


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