GRE作文和托福作文的區(qū)別與備考建議
為了幫助大家備考gre。了解更多關(guān)于gre的知識(shí)，打有準(zhǔn)備的仗，下面小編給大家?guī)鞧RE作文和托福作文的區(qū)別與備考建議，希望大家喜歡。
GRE作文和托福作文的區(qū)別與備考建議
寫文章的理由：
1. 因?yàn)橐瑫r(shí)考托福和GRE所以想總結(jié)一下兩個(gè)考試的區(qū)別和共同點(diǎn)方便自己的備考也很想分享給大家。
2. 我是朗播TOEFL 和GRE用戶(當(dāng)然這不是廣告，如果有小伙伴需要，之后可以出一個(gè)測評 如網(wǎng)課和線下課程qaq)也線下專門上過新航道的TOEFL課(其實(shí)主要是為了聽作文和口語，希望有老師能有持續(xù)的帶練環(huán)節(jié))，一戰(zhàn)TOEFL 95分，不算高，GRE還在備考。有點(diǎn)心得，希望和大家一起交流交流，能對各位戰(zhàn)托、搞G小伙伴有幫助那最好啦。
3. 我本身非常喜歡總結(jié)，能一次學(xué)會(huì)、固定下來的東西最好。一篇文章說白了就是三部分：文章結(jié)構(gòu)，邏輯銜接，語言控制。三個(gè)都需要正確的方法論和不斷的實(shí)踐操作。方法論復(fù)雜程度差不多，但是將方法論應(yīng)用到實(shí)踐中的難度：①<②<③。前兩項(xiàng)不考察英語，是你的思維的體現(xiàn)，對于考場作文來說，一般人很難做到思維有多少深度，所以有考場作文格式，這個(gè)和你高考寫語文作文是一樣的，它是一個(gè)框架。往框架里面填充的是你豐富的例子和華麗的語言、精確地辭藻。這些光有方法論掌握不了要積累要練，沒別的法子。所以我今天主要是對前兩項(xiàng)做一個(gè)總結(jié)，希望大家都能有一個(gè)基本的框架然后從心所欲不逾矩地寫作文，積累語言和例子就可以了。
話不多說 進(jìn)入正題~~
TOEFL 獨(dú)立寫作(大作文)和 GRE ISSUE 的不同點(diǎn)：
1. 字?jǐn)?shù)：想要分?jǐn)?shù)好看的話：TOEFL>=400w; ISSUE>=500w;
2. 打字速度：鑒于考試時(shí)間都是30min... ISSUE要更快啊。金山打字，我回爐重造了。
3. 本質(zhì)：TOEFL 注重考語言，GRE默認(rèn)語言不是問題、考critical thinking & analytical writing。TOEFL是給我們這些英語是二外的人考的，GRE(Graduate Record Examination)是美國研究生入學(xué)考試，除了醫(yī)學(xué)、法學(xué)、商科外基本上都要考。托?；旧弦贿叺怪С肿髡哂^點(diǎn)或者反對作者觀點(diǎn)，因?yàn)檫@樣最好寫;而GRE則一般是部分支持或者說有條件支持作者觀點(diǎn)。
4. 思考方式：朗播-issue宇哥說最大的區(qū)別是，TOEFL是先有結(jié)論再分析，GRE是先分析再有結(jié)論。這句話我認(rèn)為完整無歧義地來說是：對于思考過程來說，TOEFL是先有結(jié)論再分析，GRE是先分析再有結(jié)論;而對于寫作過程來說，其實(shí)都是應(yīng)該先有結(jié)論即你自己的觀點(diǎn)，再圍繞你的觀點(diǎn)展開論證。只是對于TOEFL你可以看到題1s內(nèi)憑直覺下結(jié)論，然后根據(jù)直覺想理由和例子。GRE來說，不能武斷地下結(jié)論，而是應(yīng)該先有內(nèi)心的分析過程(通過切分、分類、正反分析等方式——后面具體說明)然后下結(jié)論。以下是我總結(jié)的作文結(jié)構(gòu)+范文提綱。(肯定不完美 希望和大家一起探討學(xué)習(xí))
托福：
第一段(開頭段) 引入+自己觀點(diǎn)。
中間理由段2-3段 2-3個(gè)理由。
2-3個(gè)理由和主觀點(diǎn)的關(guān)系可以是因果，也可以是舉例關(guān)系。這是它相對于GRE來說比較簡單的地方。
第四段 讓步(concession)或者反駁(rebut)，用來補(bǔ)全自己的邏輯漏洞—是一邊倒支持、反駁的一個(gè)必備環(huán)節(jié)。如果理由段寫了3段這段就不必了，沒時(shí)間的。
二選一(agree or disagree)推薦讓步—讓步就是承認(rèn)自己的觀點(diǎn)過于片面有不足之處，但是這不影響自己的整體觀點(diǎn)。三選一(among three _x which one do you prefer )推薦反駁，一般三選一不選擇的兩項(xiàng)都要提一提，反駁就是說說剩下兩項(xiàng)的缺點(diǎn)，反駁只需要說對方缺點(diǎn)所以篇幅小一點(diǎn)，經(jīng)濟(jì)。當(dāng)然也可以再加上自己觀點(diǎn)的讓步 就是沒時(shí)間寫...
第五段結(jié)尾段。
Eg：
Do you agree or disagree with the statement that environmental problem can be solved in the future?
thesis statement：agree。人們對環(huán)境越來越重視了?？萍歼M(jìn)步了。
Topic1：人們對環(huán)境越來越重視了。古代 沒有保護(hù)環(huán)境的觀念，相關(guān)著述很少。工業(yè)革命時(shí)期，亂倒垃圾，大量開采?，F(xiàn)在各種環(huán)境公約。未來環(huán)境越來越重要，環(huán)境優(yōu)美是可持續(xù)發(fā)展的重要環(huán)節(jié)，不僅能使人們擁有美好的生活條件也能帶來經(jīng)濟(jì)利益，高品質(zhì)環(huán)境獲得高品質(zhì)農(nóng)作物，還能發(fā)展旅游業(yè)等等。利益和對美好生活的向往可以驅(qū)使人們擁有更好生活。(用國家發(fā)展程度分類也可以)
Topic2：科技進(jìn)步?？萍歼M(jìn)步產(chǎn)生的污染物少了，科技進(jìn)步人們處理污染物的效率高了。燃煤的效率提高，剩余的煤渣少了。SO2可以通過凈化處理，不排放到空氣中。(覺得字?jǐn)?shù)不夠的話還可以做個(gè)分類 時(shí)間分類)
Concession：當(dāng)然有可能因?yàn)槲覀儗ι钜蟾吡?，人口增多，產(chǎn)生的垃圾多了，對資源的需求也增加了，但是這些都不是問題，因?yàn)榭萍嫉陌l(fā)展會(huì)提前解決這些問題。
Conclusion：首段的paraphrase
GRE
開頭段 結(jié)構(gòu)同TOEFL
中間段(理由段) 這是比TOEFL復(fù)雜的地方，不是說TOEFL不能用下列方法分析，用了更好，但是不用也不很耽誤拿高分。但是GRE如果像托福一樣簡單分析，就很耽誤拿分了。
總體來說三種分析方式，它們還可以組合排列。
(1)切分 即把一個(gè)題目切分成命題(能判斷真假的句子)，對每個(gè)命題進(jìn)行分析，給出自己的觀點(diǎn)和結(jié)論。適用于有因果邏輯關(guān)系的題目(后文有舉例)
(2)分類 基本所有題都要用到分類討論。時(shí)間，領(lǐng)域，社會(huì)發(fā)展程度，精神物質(zhì)追求分類等等
(3)正反 即優(yōu)缺點(diǎn)，一般先分類再分析優(yōu)缺點(diǎn)。
(4 5 6) 切分+分類+正反 etc
Eg：截屏來自郎播網(wǎng)--宇哥，我手頭信得過的范文比較少，自己寫的提綱又害怕哪里不妥當(dāng)誤導(dǎo)大家，所以想用宇哥上課的一個(gè)例子。如果這種做法侵權(quán)，還請大家告訴我。
題目：We can usually learn much more from people whose views we share than from people whose views contradict our own.
解釋一下—總體來說GRE寫作就是分類討論，每一類言之有理，例證充分即可。
thesis statement：在特定的情況下同意：和我們和意見相反的人能學(xué)到的比較少，但是某些情況下我們也能和意見不同的人學(xué)到東西。
Topic 1：在特定的情況下我同意：和意見相反的人能學(xué)到的比較少。1. 辯論的時(shí)候我們能和對手學(xué)到很少。2 當(dāng)我們的價(jià)值觀世界觀根本不同的時(shí)候我們可以和對手學(xué)到很少。進(jìn)化論&上帝造人
Topic2：但是某些情況下我們也能和意見不同的人學(xué)到東西。1.個(gè)人 2 社區(qū) 3 全球范圍內(nèi)
Conclusion：開頭段的paraphrase。
5. 出題方式：托福作文題一般不重復(fù)，但是可以分類歸納并且它有母題，不斷根據(jù)母題在出子題，作答時(shí)舉例和論證格式邏輯都是類似的。GRE官網(wǎng)有題庫，人家說不怕你全練完qaq。
6. 題目類型。
我們先來看一些題目：
TOEFL 大作文：
1. 環(huán)境類--Do you agree or disagree with the statement that environmental problem can be solved in the future?
2. 社會(huì)政治類(較少)--Do you agree or disagree with the statement that the government should invest more money in children’s education than in college students?
3. 學(xué)習(xí)教育類--(1)Do you agree or disagree with the statement that it’s better to study along than study together?
(2)Do you agree or disagree with the statement that people learn more from watching TVs than reading books?
4. 科技&生活類--(1)Do you agree or disagree with the statement that people live happier than before?
(2)Some people think at the start of a new year, it’s important to set a goal of improving a specific aspect of life. They call it a new-year resolution. Which of the following new-year resolution would you choose?
1. Help others in your community
2. Improve your health by exercising more and eat nutritious food
3. Manage your time better
5. 文化&藝術(shù)類(較少)--
6. 人--朋友 老師 父母 居多
從這些題目我們可以看出來托福作文題有幾個(gè)特點(diǎn)：
1. 全部是命題形式也就是能夠判斷真假的句子(三選一的本質(zhì)也是，形式不是)，不涉及論證推理。就第一題來說，你覺得環(huán)境問題未來可以被解決，這個(gè)句子就為真，然后展開你的論證;你覺得不能被解決，這個(gè)命題為假，同理論證。
2. 題目關(guān)鍵詞是種詞(species concept)，比較具體，內(nèi)涵比較少(內(nèi)涵少意味著可描述的特點(diǎn)少。Eg：吉娃娃的特點(diǎn)比狗少，吉娃娃的內(nèi)涵比狗少)。我們比較好理解，而且生活中都能接觸到。
GRE ISSUE:
1. 環(huán)境類--Nations should pass laws to preserve any remaining wilderness areas in their natural state, even if these areas could be developed for economic gain.
2. 社會(huì)&政治類(很多)—(1)[Claim] Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive. [Reason] It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.
(2)The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority.
3. 學(xué)習(xí)教育類—Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.
4. 法律— Laws should be flexible enough to take account of various circumstances, times, and places.
5. 文化&藝術(shù)(很多)--Some people believe that government funding of the arts is necessary to ensure that the arts can flourish and be available to all people. Others believe that government funding of the arts threatens the integrity of the arts.
The most effective way to understand contemporary culture is to analyze the trends of its youth.
6 人--歷史名人居多 政客 藝術(shù)家等等
從這些題目我們可以看出來GRE ISSUE有幾個(gè)特點(diǎn)：
1. 題目有命題也有簡單論證(就是claim&reason)，有論證的時(shí)候就要求我們做切分分析，因?yàn)檎撟C的本質(zhì)就是命題通過邏輯推理的組合，所以要解析它第一步就是切分。(上文的范文提綱就是一個(gè)切分實(shí)例)
2. 題目中關(guān)鍵詞屬詞(genus concept)比較多，內(nèi)涵豐富，比較抽象(例如：success )。跟政治、文化、歷史、藝術(shù)相關(guān)性較大，而且經(jīng)常是government和這些文化類相連。抽象決定了我們可以通過定義(比如什么是success 掙錢不是success有文化才是blalala)和分類(初高中的成功是成績好，博士階段的成功是科研能力強(qiáng)，中年的成功是有房有車blalala)的方式去展開論述。當(dāng)然積累相關(guān)的名人事例應(yīng)該是最好用的。GRE考察的文化積累部分正式托?？疾毂容^少的部分，也是考托福的時(shí)候最害怕碰到的題目?，F(xiàn)在就不怕了，當(dāng)然也是因?yàn)榭纪懈＝鉀Q了一些語言基礎(chǔ)能力的問題，才有空解決文化問題。
7.TOEFL 獨(dú)立寫作和GRE ISSUE相同點(diǎn)：
(1)寫作順序一致：構(gòu)思--列提綱--正式寫作
(2)考試時(shí)間和分配--當(dāng)然可以根據(jù)個(gè)人情況調(diào)整
構(gòu)思+提綱 3min
中間段+結(jié)尾段 25min
檢查 2min
(3)時(shí)間不太夠，需要打字快，金山打字再推一遍。
(4) 開頭結(jié)尾段的展開方式類似。
(5) 備考重點(diǎn)是一樣的積累例子+練習(xí)語言。練習(xí)的方式是一樣的，先中文頭腦風(fēng)暴然后英文實(shí)踐。推薦一天一個(gè)片段積累一個(gè)例子，一周成型兩篇，不要斷就有進(jìn)步。
(6)還有就是可以找小伙伴一起備考，相互監(jiān)督，背單詞啊，列提綱啊真的會(huì)更有動(dòng)力!!
一點(diǎn)小感悟：
1. 寫GRE作文的時(shí)候才感悟到其實(shí)什么學(xué)到最后都是哲學(xué)(不是裝b)，只是因?yàn)閷懙臅r(shí)候不知道該怎么展開，各處翻帖、看書、求教數(shù)學(xué)專業(yè)的同學(xué)(雖然他推薦我的參考書目是《離散數(shù)學(xué)》anyway)最后發(fā)現(xiàn)，這個(gè)和咱們高中數(shù)學(xué)講的邏輯(醫(yī)學(xué)僧課內(nèi)的邏輯知識(shí)僅限于此了，請各位理工科爸爸不要鄙視我，我覺得對理解基本的邏輯夠用啦，感謝黨和國家qaq)，哲學(xué)，語言學(xué)還有大學(xué)后學(xué)的計(jì)算機(jī)語言等等都是殊途同歸的。我本身是學(xué)醫(yī)的，平時(shí)不算是涉獵廣泛，大三了才領(lǐng)悟到這點(diǎn)也是覺得慚愧。推薦大家一本書《邏輯學(xué)15講》，是邏輯學(xué)入門的我覺得很不錯(cuò)的書，從命題、邏輯的概念講起，搭配一些有趣的邏輯題目，也會(huì)講解邏輯謬誤，我覺得很有趣，對邏輯思考幫助蠻大的，如果想要深入研究的話，推薦一篇豆瓣帖子https://site.douban.com/145723/widget/notes/18112599/note/649427261/ 博主的帖子幾乎都是邏輯學(xué)內(nèi)容。而對GRE最直接的幫助，我覺得就是ISSUE，ISSUE的作文題就是一個(gè)小的邏輯論證，看過書就不再是盲人摸象，對題目的整體把握和拆分構(gòu)思會(huì)快一點(diǎn)，當(dāng)然用英語寫不出來也是白搭。在聽老師講作文思路的時(shí)候我就覺得有點(diǎn)暈并且覺得這不是一個(gè)語言老師應(yīng)該管的事，應(yīng)該有更成熟、更完善的方法論，既然如此我們應(yīng)該直接參考更優(yōu)的。我有kindle版《邏輯學(xué)15講》，想要的可以私信。我也看過網(wǎng)易梨花女子大學(xué)邏輯導(dǎo)論公開課，雖然講的有點(diǎn)慢，但是還是有干貨的。比如分類--什么是好的分類?以本質(zhì)分類，沒有重疊，且沒有遺漏。這些知識(shí)好像是常識(shí)，但是單獨(dú)拉出來明確下來，我覺得自己在寫作分類討論的時(shí)候更注意了。當(dāng)然GRE閱讀邏輯題也是蠻有幫助的。
2. 我的以上種.種分享很多都是在你備考時(shí)間足夠用3-6月，不急出分，一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)積累能力用的。急著出分也要先掌握正確的方法論，郎播老杜有很多話說的很在理，其中一句是：沒時(shí)間也不是你胡來的理由。
GRE寫作滿分范文1
"It?is?unfortunate?that?today's?educators?place?so?much?emphasis?on?finding?out?what?students?want?to?include?in?the?curriculum?and?then?giving?it?to?them.??It?is?the?educator's?duty?to?determine?the?curriculum?and?the?students'?duty?to?study?what?is?presented?to?them."?
As?an?elementary?educator,?I?believe?this?stance?is?extremist.??Educators?and?the?public?must?come?to?a?middle?road.??The?high?road?and?the?low?road?are?intimated?in?this?statement.??I?believe?the?high?road?on?this?topic?(from?whence?should?curriculum?come)?represents?a?nouveau?approach.??Ask?the?students?what?they?want?to?learn?and?study?for?the?year;?then?meander,?research?and?branch?off?of?their?interests.??The?low?road?on?this?topic?(directly?endorsed?by?this?statement)?is?old?fashioned?and?outdated.??The?assumptions?behind?this?view?include?a?magical?ability?by?teachers?to?infuse?reams?of?information,?data?and?knowledge?into?students'?brains?that?then?become?internalized?and?applied?by?the?students.?
In?a?complex?and?frightening?society,?we?must?look?to?the?middle?road.??We?must?infuse?the?best?of?the?high?and?the?low?roads.??Current?research?has?had?a?lot?to?say?on?curriculum?development.??Overreaching?arguments?defend?the?quality?of?students'?self-directed?learning.??However,?in?order?to?prepare?our?students?for?this?society,?we?must?have?developed?the?backbone?and?anchor?for?curriculum.??Content?and?performance?standards?(i.e.?curricula)?need?to?be?developed?by?the?district's?educators?as?a?map?for?teachers.?When?educators?provide?students?with?choices?WITHIN?the?map?of?curriculum,?students?relish?in?the?freedom?and?take?ownership?for?their?learning.?
Were?we?to?provide?students?the?ultimate?authority?in?curriculum?development,?we?would?be?doing?an?injustice?not?only?to?our?students?but?to?society?as?a?whole.??There?are?specific?skills?and?abilities?that?need?to?be?developed?and?taught?--?regardless?of?students'?(or?for?that?matter,??teachers')?interest.??In?my?profession?as?an?elementary?educator?and?as?a?parent,?I?value?the?abilities?to?read,?write?and?be?mathematically?proficient.??Those?students?not?mastering?those?critical?skills?are?at?a?disadvantage.??We?see?those?students?become?destructive?or?depressed.??I?have?observed?students?struggling?with?the?basics?become?outcasts?in?their?own?little?worlds.??Very?young?outcasts?grow?into?adult?outcasts.?
I?do?NOT?think?it?is?unfortunate?that?today's?educators?emphasize?students'?interests.??It?IS?our?duty,?however,?to?provide?the?parameters?for?their?education.??We?can?not?simply?state?that?educators?determine?curriculum?and?students?follow.??This?is?just?not?reality?in?the?classrooms.??When?standards?and?curricular?maps?have?been?developed,?teachers?of?today's?children?have?the?responsibility?(yes,?the?duty!)?to?bring?life?to?those?maps.??One?crucial?and?successful?way,?is?to?provide?students?variety?and?choices?within?the?context?of?"what?needs?to?be?covered."??The?educator?who?brings?curricula?to?life?for?her?students?and?gives?her?students?the?responsibility?to?make?choices?helps?to?prepare?our?children?for?thriving?--?not?just?surviving.?
COMMENTARY?
This?response?presents?a?well-developed?analysis?of?the?issue?and?displays?strong?control?of?the?elements?of?writing.??The?essay?argues?in?favor?of?a?"middle?road"?position?on?the?issue?by?analyzing?the?pros?and?cons?of?both?teacher-determined?and?student-driven?curricula.??The?argument?is?clear?and?well?focused,?supported?with?first-hand?experience?and?the?results?of?educational?research.?
The?writer?endorses?a?curriculum?that?emphasizes?strong?basic?skills?(reading,?writing,?and?math)?and?reminds?the?reader?that?the?teachers'?ultimate?responsibility?should?be?to?bring?curricula?to?life?in?order?to?"prepare?our?children?for?thriving?--?not?just?surviving."?
This?essay?displays?a?strong?facility?with?written?English?language;?the?careful?choice?of?words?and?carefully?structured?paragraphs?help?unify?the?structure?of?the?argument.??Overall,?this?response?displays?a?strong?command?of?academic?writing?skills?and?thus?received?a?score?of?5.?
GRE寫作滿分范文2
"It?is?unfortunate?that?today's?educators?place?so?much?emphasis?on?finding?out?what?students?want?to?include?in?the?curriculum?and?then?giving?it?to?them.??It?is?the?educators'?duty?to?determine?the?curriculum?and?the?students'?duty?to?study?what?is?presented?to?them."?
The?above?quotation?a?concrete?example?of?a?major?problem?in?our?society?today.?While?probably?stated?with?good?intentions,?the?quotation?misses?the?mark?on?the?path?education?needs?to?follow.??As?our?society?changes,?so?do?our?educational?needs,?and?thus?our?educational?curriculum?needs?to?change?also.?
I?find?fault??with?the?quotation?on?two?fronts.??First,?the?quotation?does?not?acknowledge?that?curriculum?must?change.??It?seems?to?say?the?educator?should?decide?when?to?change?the?curriculum.??This?does?not?lead?to?optimal?learning?conditions,?ask?anyone?who?studied?high?school?history?out?of?outdated?textbooks.??One?can?also?infer?some?students?won't?be?taught?up-to-date?informationin?a?wide?variety?of?areas.??This?can?become?ideologically?dangerous.???What?happens?when?students?are?not?given?full?teachings?of?such?vital?movements?as?the?Equal?Rights?Amendment?or?the?Constitution?of?their?country???An?unenlightened?society?is?a?grave?society?with?little?hope.??Curriculum?must?change,?and?should?not?be?left?to?input?from?a?single?voice.?
The?second?argument?answers?who?should?make?curriculum?adjustments.??Obviously?the?educator?still?plays?alarge?role?in?this?matter.??The?students?also?need?to?be?part?of?the?decision?process.??The?two?groups?need?a?give?and?take?relationship?when?deciding?topics?for?the?classroom.??If?the?students?could?benefit?from?learning?material?that?is?presently?not?taught?in?the?classroom,?it?should?be?entered.??Sex?education?and?AIDS?education?classes?needed?to?be?part?of?the?curriculum?to?inform?young?people.??Those?classes?were?added?and?have?worked?well.?
A?third?party?that?has?a?role?in?curriculum?development?is?private?business,?including?research?labs,?goods?and?service?providers,?and?financial?businesses.??By?hiring?employees?with?certain?capabilities?they?have?indirectly?influenced?curriculum?for?years.?As?time?passes?they?will?have?more?input?by?demanding?subpar?schools?raise?the?level?of?student?test?scores?in?certain?areas,?either?by?stating?so?or?by?not?hiring?unqualified?students?
The?quotation?echoes?of?a?time?when?school?learning?consisted?of?the?three?"R"'s?and?little?else.
better?or?worse?our?society?is?much?more?complex?now?than?then.
For?our?schools?to?keep?pace?with?our?society?we?need?to?adjust?our?curriclum?to?what?it?should?be,?what?we?want?it?to?be,?and?what?it?needs?to?be.?The?above?quotation?a?concrete?example?of?a?major?problem?in?our?society?today.?While?probably?stated?with?good?intentions,?the?quotation?misses?the?mark?on?the?path?education?needs?to?follow.??As?our?society?changes,?so?do?our?educational?needs,?and?thus?our?educational?curriculum?needs?to?change?also.?
I?find?fault??with?the?quotation?on?two?fronts.??First,?the?quotation?does?not?acknowledge?that?curriculum?must?change.??It?seems?to?say?the?educator?should?decide?when?to?change?the?curriculum.??This?does?not?lead?to?optimal?learning?conditions,?ask?anyone?who?studied?high?school?history?out?of?outdated?textbooks.??One?can?also?infer?some?students?won't?be?taught?up-to-date?informationin?a?wide?variety?of?areas.??This?can?become?ideologically?dangerous.???What?happens?when?students?are?not?given?full?teachings?of?such?vital?movements?as?the?Equal?Rights?Amendment?or?the?Constitution?of?their?country???An?unenlightened?society?is?a?grave?society?with?little?hope.??Curriculum?must?change,?and?should?not?be?left?to?input?from?a?single?voice.
The?second?argument?answers?who?should?make?curriculum?adjustments.??Obviously?the?educator?still?plays?alarge?role?in?this?matter.??The?students?also?need?to?be?part?of?the?decision?process.??The?two?groups?need?a?give?and?take?relationship?when?deciding?topics?for?the?classroom.??If?the?students?could?benefit?from?learning?material?that?is?presently?not?taught?in?the?classroom,?it?should?be?entered.??Sex?education?and?AIDS?education?classes?needed?to?be?part?of?the?curriculum?to?inform?young?people.??Those?classes?were?added?and?have?worked?well.??
A?third?party?that?has?a?role?in?curriculum?development?is?private?business,?including?research?labs,?goods?and?service?providers,?and?financial?businesses.??By?hiring?employees?with?certain?capabilities?they?have?indirectly?influenced?curriculum?for?years.?As?time?passes?they?will?have?more?input?by?demanding?subpar?schools?raise?the?level?of?student?test?scores?in?certain?areas,?either?by?stating?so?or?by?not?hiring?unqualified?students?
The?quotation?echoes?of?a?time?when?school?learning?consisted?of?the?three?"R"'s?and?little?else.??For?better?or?worse?our?society?is?much?more?complex?now?than?then.???For?our?schools?to?keep?pace?with?our?society?we?need?to?adjust?our?curriclum?to?what?it?should?be,?what?we?want?it?to?be,?and?what?it?needs?to?be.?
COMMENTARY?
This?essay?presents?a?competent?discussion?of?the?issue.??The?essay's?argument?--?that?curriculum?should?be?determined?by?many?voices,?including?that?of?private?business?--?is?clearly?expressed?and?adequately?developed.??The?writer?supports?this?position?with?relevant?reasons,?including?an?analysis?of?the?need?for?private?business?to?become?involved?in?education.??Examples?are?clearly?relevant?(e.g.,?sex?education?and?AIDS?education?are?cited?as?examples?of?how?schools?are?offering?new?classes?to?meet?the?contemporary?needs),?and?the?writer?uses?details?to?help?develop?and?illustrate?important?points.??While?the?essay?presents?several?ideas?that?are?thought?provoking?--??e.g.,?"An?unenlightened?society?is?a?grave?society?with?little?hope"?--?those?ideas?are?not?expressed?precisely?or?persuasively?enough?to?merit?a?score?of?5.?
The?conclusion?is?appropriate;?it?reinforces?the?main?idea?of?the?essay,?that?schools?need?to?keep?pace?with?society?and?adjust?curricula?to?meet?the?needs?of?both?students?and?employers.?
The?essay?consistently?displays?adequate?control?over?the?conventions?of?academic?writing.??Sentence structure?is?generally?adequate,?although?many?of?the?sentences?would?benefit?from?restructuring?and?the?use?of?transitions?to?more?effectively?communicate?the?writer's?ideas.?
For?all?of?these?reasons?--?competent?analysis?and?adequate?control?of?the?elements?of?writing?--?this?essay?received?a?score?of?4.?
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