friends搞笑臺詞

　　電視劇《老友記》(Friends)，又譯名《六人行》，是由NBC電視臺(美國全國廣播公司)從1994年開播、連續(xù)播出了10年的一部幽默情景喜劇，也是美國歷史上最成功、影響力最大的電視劇之一。以下是學習啦小編為大家準備的《friends》經(jīng)典臺詞，希望大家喜歡!

　　friends搞笑臺詞(一)

　　1、Joey: Come on, Ross, that didnt mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody.

　　羅斯，那不能算數(shù)的。她剛剛生了寶寶，覺得無助，這種時候，任何人向她求婚她都會答應(yīng)的。

　　Ross: Yeah thats what she said，but I dont wanna be just anybody.

　　她也這么說，只是，我不想自己只是任何人。

　　聽起來蠻有道理，其實蠢的可以。愛情若是純粹理論化的東西，我才懶得戀愛，倒不如去一邊做習題集。兩個人這么多的波折，羅斯的原則負有不可推卸的責任。自己愛的人最需要自己的時候，竟然還能這樣冷靜的分析，這種狀態(tài)下的羅斯，不嫁也罷。

　　2、Joey: MIKE!!!

　　Mike: Yeah?

　　緣分這東西真的很奇妙，菲比交往了無數(shù)的男生，都不能走到理想的位置。喬伊在咖啡館里這一聲離譜的呼喚，竟給她帶來了意想不到的愛侶。所以，我們吃完飯要說謝謝，公車上要積極讓座，吵架前要先微笑，上衣口袋要別著鋼筆，因為沒準你的另一半就在這些場景里出現(xiàn)呢，要時刻準備給她留個好的第一印象。

　　3、Phoebe: Why did you go along with that?

　　你被喬伊伙同去騙我們，圖什么呢?

　　Mike: Because I was told Id get a free dinner, which I didnt. And that Id meet a pretty girl. Which I did.

　　他說我可以蹭頓飯，結(jié)果卻讓我買單;他還說此行有美女可看，這倒是真看著了，而且到現(xiàn)在還沒有看夠。

　　4、Joey: (On the phone with Chandler) Double promise?

　　錢德勒去外地工作，機場上不停安慰家里人說還會跟從前一樣，他一定會按時回家之類的。鏡頭切換，電話這頭竟然不是莫尼卡而是喬伊，他帶著哭腔：你說話要算術(shù)，拉鉤，再拉一次

　　5、Monica: let me be a part of this.

　　莫尼卡誤以為錢德勒有窺鯊魚癖好，竟為他租了鯊魚錄像帶。或許有人覺得這里有些變態(tài)，但對于我來說，這一段變態(tài)而令人神往。(You kown I mean Minica but the sharks,ha?)

　　6、Chandler: You are incredible. Im not gonna smoke again. And if I do, I promise, I will hide it so much better from you.

　　我以后絕對不再吸煙了，如果忍不住又吸，我也保證不會再讓你發(fā)現(xiàn)。

　　戒不掉的就隱藏吧，有時候躲避也是一種重視，而重視可以調(diào)和惡習的危害。

　　7、Joey: (mumbling) Never hit a woman. Never hit a woman.Ross bruises like a peach. He bruises like a peach.

　　絕對不能打女人!羅斯軟得像柿子!

　　喬伊克制自己打人沖動的自言自語。食、色、低能、直接，喬伊的一切愛好習慣都是那么原始，或者說，純樸。至少他不做作，不虛偽;至少他真的像個男人，不欺負女生和弱者。

　　8、David: Well, it got me to New York anyway, and then I got on a cab at the airport, and the guy said where to? and I just... gave him your address I... I... I didnt even think about it.

　　回國后，在機場上了出租車，司機問我要去哪里，我?guī)缀跸攵紱]想就告訴他你家的地址。

　　Phoebe: Wow. Where is your luggage? (David thinks for a while)

　　那你的行李呢?

　　David: Damn it!

　　靠，我暈。

　　其實落魄科學家戴維同志還是很不錯的，他和麥克互戳手指的決斗超酷，還有出門前那句俗套而認真的take good care of her.

　　9、Phoebe: Oh my God, youre RICH!

　　你家真有錢哪。

　　Mike: No, my parents are rich.

　　不，是我爹媽有錢。

　　什么人比小開更誘人?這樣的小開!

　　10、Chandler: Look, Im, Im married!Im happily married.

　　Tulsa的感恩節(jié)，錢德勒善良的完整體現(xiàn)。他是一個好上司，一個好朋友，一個好丈夫。他驅(qū)散了加班的手下回家過節(jié)，他拒絕了選美亞軍的朱唇俏臉，為了與妻子和朋友們共度，他甚至不惜辭掉了工作。

　　11、Chandler: Well look, its not easy to spend this much time apart, you know. Shes entitled to be a little paranoid... or, in this case: right on money! ... You know, shes amazing, and beautiful, and smart, and if she were here right now, ...shed kick your ass.

　　你知道，兩地分居并不容易。所以她有些敏感，還有些貪錢。但是，她是那么美好，那么漂亮，那么聰明善良，她要是在這里的話，看見你這樣勾引我，早就狠揍你了。

　　12、Monica: I thought you hated him?

　　你不是說你討厭他嗎?

　　Rachel: You know honey, there is a thin line between love and hate, and it turns out that line...is a scarf!

　　愛與恨只有一線之隔，何況這條線還是一條漂亮的圍巾呢?

　　13、Chandler: Maybe I should quit and get a job that pays.

　　或許我該去找份能掙錢的工作了。

　　Monica: Oh...But youre finally doing something that you love! I cant ask you to give that up.

　　但你好不容易找了份自己喜歡做的工作，讓你放棄理想，我舍不得。

　　bing家經(jīng)濟危機，錢德勒要委屈自己轉(zhuǎn)行，莫尼卡體貼丈夫。經(jīng)濟有時是情感的試金石，特別是沒有經(jīng)濟的時候。

　　14、Mike: No, no! What I mean is...I hate going back to my apartment now...And partly because I live above a known crack den but...mostly because when Im there...Its just...i really miss you.

　　我不想回家了。首先因為我的公寓環(huán)境很不咋地還因為我發(fā)現(xiàn)我一分鐘都離不開你。

　　聽慣了瓊瑤阿姨的愛比天大的對白，偶爾聽一下麥克式的表白(簡稱麥克白)是不是感動更多一些，覺得更加實在。無限度的夸張已經(jīng)被唾棄了，誠實的男孩更加可愛，情話，漸漸步入欲揚先抑的時代。

　　15、Mike: But I dont want this to end.

　　Phoebe: I dont want it to end either.

　　兩個深愛著的人，卻由于對婚姻的不同態(tài)度要生硬的分開?？纯贷溈耍纯匆郧暗腻X德勒，才發(fā)現(xiàn)沒有永恒的觀點，沒有可以預言的明天，對待感情最好的態(tài)度還是順其自然。經(jīng)歷了開始的狂熱期，還能夠愛得難分難舍是多么的難得，這種奇妙的感覺不見得比那兩張廢紙單薄，而且只有抓住珍惜這種感覺，才能心甘情愿的拿到那兩張廢紙。

　　16、Mike: I mean, If I had known the last time I saw you would be the last time, I... I would have stopped to memorize your face, the way you move, everything about you. If I had known the last time I kissed you would have been the last time... I never would have stopped.

　　如果我早知道上次是最后一次相見，我一定會認真記住你的臉，記住你的每個表情，記住你的一舉一動，把與你相關(guān)的一切都銘記在腦中;如果早知道上次是和你的最后一吻，不管呼吸多困難，身邊又有多大的事兒發(fā)生，我都會一直吻下去，永遠不會停。

　　17、Monica: Because I know that you think the lottery is boohaki but were all here and gonna watch the numbers and have fun. And youre my brother, and I want you to be a part of this.

　　雖然你說買彩票是腦子進水，但是我們大家都坐在一起等待開獎，一起期待，一起享受快樂，你是我哥，我不想你冷落在一邊，所以我為你付錢，也買了一些彩票。

　　18、Joey: (to Chandler) Hey, that is so great about the job. And I like to think I had a little something to do with it.Well, before, with the wishbone... I didnt wish we would win the lottery, I wished youd get the job.

　　恭喜你得到這么好的工作，這里面也有我的功勞啊。剛才分許愿骨的時候，我的愿望不是彩票中大獎，而是讓你得到這份工作。

　　喬伊最大的好處就是情感反饋能力極強，誰對他好，他就加倍對誰好，永遠不會讓人覺得白疼了這個傻小子。

　　19、Monica: Who was so worried about her restaurant being fancy that she made a big deal about her friend playing her music and feels really bad about it now? (raises her hand)

　　有誰因為太在乎自己的餐廳而詆毀朋友的音樂，因為這件事正在后悔不迭?

　　Phoebe: Oh... Who was so stupid and stubborn that she lashed out against her friends cooking which she actually thinks is pretty great! (raises her hand)

　　有誰又愚蠢又頑固明知朋友的廚藝極好卻百般挑剔，現(xiàn)在知道自己錯了的?

　　日常相處中，大家多玩玩這種舉手游戲，衡量一下友誼和面子哪個更重，就沒有什么過不去的了。

　　20、Ross: And if you think about it, I mean the reason he memorized all that stuff is because he thought it was important to you. You know, thats the kind of guy Joey is.

　　喬伊是很笨，什么都不懂。但是，從另一個角度看，他死記硬背了那么多的藝術(shù)資料、復雜評論，都是為了和你能更好的在一起，只是為了能和你多一點共同話題。喬伊就是一個這樣的人，會為別人著想，會盡全力的讓對方快樂。

　　喬伊是個這樣的好人，面對喜歡的女孩，狠夸情敵的羅斯又何嘗不是呢?

　　21、Monica: I just... I just realized I dont care if hes the most perfect guy in the world... hes not you. And if I cant get pregnant with you, then I dont want to get pregnant by... him or anyone else.

　　我不管他是否是世界上最健康優(yōu)秀的男子，我只知道，他不是你。如果不能和你一起生一個孩子，我也不想跟任何人生。

　　22、Mike: Phoebe, I love you. I mean, I missed you so much these last few months and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.

　　分開以后，我相思如焚。我一直勸慰自己這是沒有辦法的事，我們分手有足夠的理由?，F(xiàn)在我才明白，根本沒有任何理由能足夠到把我們分開，我們注定是要在一起的。

　　23、Chandler: (In a loving voice) Yes, I do. Now, I may not understand why you have to win so badly, but if its important to you then its important to me, because I love you.

　　我實在搞不懂你為什么如此好勝。但是，如果輸贏對你真的有那么大的意義，那么我就該和你一起拼命爭取，誰讓我愛你呢?

　　friends搞笑臺詞(二)

　　1、Chandler: All right, there’s a nuclear holocaust, I’m the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me?

　　“如果核爆炸，世界上只剩我一個男人，你會愛我嗎?”

　　錢德勒不停地問莫尼卡會不會愛他，答案都是否定的。你能想象幾年后他們有那么幸福嗎?

　　2、Joey: That’s right I stepped up! She’s my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, I’d pee on anyone of you!

　　喬伊白癡而感人的宣言：“如果你們需要，我可以在你們?nèi)魏稳松砩夏蚰颉?rdquo;

　　3、Ross: I didn’t know what I was taking full responsibility for! Okay?! I didn’t finish the whole letter!

　　羅斯真的有些小氣，作為男生承擔這些責任又怎么了?過去聽他講“on the break”覺得好玩，現(xiàn)在越來越覺得這時的他可恨了。

　　4、Mrs. Geller: And the next time you cater for me, there will be nothing but ice in the freezer.

　　聚會上人們都喜歡吃莫尼卡做的東西，蓋勒夫人終于承認了自己的女兒，說下次再也不會準備備用食物了。

　　5、Chandler: Oh, I just wanted to say, "Hey!"

　　錢德勒跑過好幾條街，跌倒了無數(shù)次，只是為了跟女孩子說一句“hey”?？上菃桃恋呐?，雖然她跟錢德勒更合適。

　　還是喜歡做一個會氣喘吁吁的說“真巧”的男孩，不管我有多老，追著喜歡的女孩跑，永遠是最美的心跳牽動的心跳。

　　6、Chandler: That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!

　　錢德勒說出對喬伊女友的真實感受：“從見到她的第一眼開始，我就不可救藥的愛上了她，我瘋了似的思念她，夢寐以求有她相伴左右。每一天每一小時每一分鐘的每一秒里我都在痛恨自己為什么不能比你早認識她。”

　　7、Chandler: Oh, it wasn't a big deal. I just went to a couple of bookstores, talked to a couple of dealers... called a couple of the author's grandchildren.

　　錢德勒跑了許多家書店，問了許多書商，又給原作者的后人打了許多電話，才買到了很稀有的書作為生日禮物，但喬伊只買了一支能看時間的筆，所以，錢德勒只好跟喬伊互換了禮物。 越來越愛錢德勒!

　　8、Ross: No the-the sad thing is, if you had told him how you felt before you kissed her, knowing Joey, he probably just would've just stepped aside.

　　錢德勒如果早跟喬伊坦白自己對喬伊女友的感受，情況會好得多。

　　或者說，羅斯早跟錢德勒說這些話，情況就會好得多。

　　9、Joey: When that guy was robbing us, and I was locked in the entertainment unit for like six hours, you know what I was doing in there all that time? I was thinking about how I let you down!

　　“我們家被搶劫的時候，我被關(guān)在櫥子里，整整六個小時，我都在想我會害你多難過。”

　　10、Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, married a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire, livin’ in a box!!

　　莫尼卡因為先后和理查父子約會受到指責，然后憤怒的揭短。是呀，六人中沒有一個的人生完美，但他們都在快樂的生活;沒有一個沒犯過錯，但他們都是最善良的。

　　11、Rachel: Don’t say that I have no sentiment! This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! This is from the museum from the first time we… were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter!

　　瑞秋讓人動情的一刻：“不要說我沒有人情味兒。這是我們第一次一起看電影的票根，這是你第一次為我做早餐時剩的蛋殼，這是我們第一次約會時從博物館拿的化石。我可能會把你們送的禮物退掉，但我會保留所有我認為值得珍藏的東西。”

　　12、KATHY: you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm… Listen I don’t wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I can’t stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I don’t wanna be the cause of that. So, I don’t think we can see each other anymore. I’m gonna go to my mom’s in Chicago, I’m gonna stay there for awhile. I think this could’ve be something really amazing, but y’know this is probably for the best. Y’know? I’m gonna miss you. Good-bye

　　凱茜對箱子里的錢德勒所說的話：“你現(xiàn)在不能說話也好，這樣我們的離別也不必那么難受。我不想做影響你們兄弟感情的女人，我沒法眼睜睜的看著你們?yōu)榱宋一ゲ焕聿?。所以我覺得我們還是不要再見面了，我會去芝加哥我媽那調(diào)整一段時間。我知道我們在一起會有多么幸福，但現(xiàn)在來看，分開才是最好的結(jié)局。你能理解嗎?我會想你的。親愛的再見。”

　　13、Phoebe: Yeah. That’s what you really want. Yeah, I don’t want to be the reason you’re unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really don’t want to be the reason I’m unhappy.

　　菲比放棄了和莫尼卡的餐車，支持她去做大廚。因為那是莫尼卡真正想做的，委屈莫尼卡就是委屈她自己，菲比不想委屈自己……

　　14、Phoebe Sr: I gave up two babies, and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies. I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life.

　　菲比的媽媽對她說：我拋棄過兩個孩子，我多希望當時有人能告訴我這是多么糟糕的事情，這使得我以后的日子每一天都在無盡的悔恨中度過。

　　15、Monica: 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7, …7..…7…7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7…(mouths 7)!

　　無話不談的老友，錢德勒的女友當晚跑過來跟莫尼卡致謝。

　　16、Ross: I’m having my lunch at this table, here in the middle. I’m having lunch right here, with my good friend Joey, if he’ll sit with me.

　　羅斯為了好朋友喬伊，在博物館的午餐桌上發(fā)起了反對階級歧視運動。

　　17、Phoebe: No, I’m really okay with this. Y’know why? ‘Cause look at them, and I made that, so… I know it’s gonna be like a million times harder to give up a baby but, oh my God, it’s gonna feel like a million times better, right?

　　菲比決定為弟弟和弟妹生孩子。雖然放棄孩子時會有十萬分的難過，但看到弟弟弟妹高興的樣子，也會有十萬分的幸福。全世界最偉大的姐姐。

　　18、Kathy: Acting! Chandler, this is my job! I’m-I’m playing a part in a play! How can you not trust me?!

　　Chandler: Well, you can understand, given how we started.

　　凱茜對錢德勒說你怎么能覺得我背叛你呢?錢德說那我們又是怎么開始的?

　　難以置信聰明、善良的錢德勒會說出這么傷人的話。永遠不要揭愛人的傷疤，尤其是這傷疤是為你而結(jié)。

　　19、Joey: Well, suppose until the baby’s born I laid off it. No extra animals would die, you-you’d just be eating my animals.

　　菲比懷孕后很想吃肉，但素食主義的她很在意殺生。食肉狂人喬伊為了讓她心安，自動戒肉直到小孩子出世，把吃肉的機會讓給了好朋友。

　　20、Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monica’s photo albums, I mean you don’t do that if you’re just in it for two weeks.

　　這個女孩花整晚時間跟你的朋友聊天，問你以前的事兒，要你的影集看，你覺得這是一段短暫情緣的表現(xiàn)嗎?

　　21、Rachel: It’s okay. Sometimes, things don’t work out the way you’d thought they would.

　　有時候，生活不像你想象中那么美好。

　　得悉羅斯要結(jié)婚，可憐的瑞秋，她總覺得他們可以分分合合，可一旦沒有了合的可能，她才感覺到對方的重要。

　　22、Phoebe: So, did shopping make you feel any better about Ross?

　　購物能減輕你對羅斯的思念嗎?

　　Rachel: Manhattan does not have enough stores.

　　美國的店鋪顯然不夠多。

　　23、Monica: Ross, how long have you been planning this wedding?

　　“羅斯，你什么時候開始籌備的這場婚禮?”

　　Ross: I don’t know. A month?

　　“記不清了，一個多月前吧。”

　　Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. That’s what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, w. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.

　　“女孩子在五歲的時候就開始幻想她的婚禮了，她們要最完美的婚禮，最理想的地方，更重要的，她們想要一個真正懂得這場儀式對她有多大意義的人來托付終身。”

　　24、Rachel: Y’know what? No. It’s not over until someone says, "I do."

　　在他們正式結(jié)婚以前，我是不會放棄的。

　　25、Minister: Take thee, Emily...

　　Ross: Take thee, Rachel...