TED英語演講:認(rèn)為自己丑會對你不利
“我好丑”自我印象,到底對自己有多大影響?本期TED演講者M(jìn)eaghan Ramsey表示,其影響不僅僅是降低自尊,更有可能引起很多行為問題。危害自己的身心健康。不過如此巨大的影響究竟是如何發(fā)生的呢?下面是小編為大家收集關(guān)于TED英語演講:認(rèn)為自己丑會對你不利,歡迎借鑒參考。
認(rèn)為自己丑會對你不利
This is my niece, Stella. She's just turned one and started to walk. And she's walking in that really cool way that one-year-olds do, a kind of teetering, my-body's-moving- too-fast-for-my-legs kind of way.It is absolutely gorgeous. And one of her favorite things to do at the moment is to stare at herself in the mirror. She absolutely loves her reflection. She giggles and squeals, and gives herself these big, wet kisses. It is beautiful. Apparently, all of her friends do this and my mom tells me that I used to do this,and it got me thinking: When did I stop doing this? When is it suddenly not okay to love the way that we look? Because apparently we don't.
這是我的侄女,斯特拉。 她剛滿一歲并開始學(xué)走路了。 她正在用一歲的小孩通常使用的非??岬姆绞阶呗?, 那種搖搖晃晃、身體比腿移動(dòng)得快得多的方式。 這真的很有意思。 她最喜歡做的事情之一 就是盯著鏡子里的自己。 她非常喜歡自己在鏡子里的影像。 她邊笑邊叫,然后給了鏡子中的自己一些大大的、濕濕的吻。 很漂亮。 很顯然,她所有的朋友都這樣做,然后我媽說我小時(shí)候也是這樣的, 這讓我想到一個(gè)問題:我是什么時(shí)候停止這樣做的? 從什么時(shí)候開始,突然間我們不再喜歡自己的長相了?因?yàn)楹茱@然我們不再那樣做。
Ten thousand people every month google, "Am I ugly?" This is Faye. Faye is 13 and she lives in Denver.And like any teenager, she just wants to be liked and to fit in. It's Sunday night. She's getting ready for the week ahead at school. And she's slightly dreading it, and she's a bit confused because despite her mom telling her all the time that she's beautiful, every day at school, someone tells her that she's ugly.Because of the difference between what her mom tells her and what her friends at school, or her peers at school are telling her, she doesn't know who to believe. So, she takes a video of herself. She posts it to YouTube and she asks people to please leave a comment: "Am I pretty or am I ugly?" Well, so far, Faye has received over 13,000 comments. Some of them are so nasty, they don't bear thinking about.This is an average, healthy-looking teenage girl receiving this feedback at one of the most emotionally vulnerable times in her life. Thousands of people are posting videos like this, mostly teenage girls, reaching out in this way. But what's leading them to do this?
每個(gè)月都有一萬人在谷歌上搜索 “我丑嗎?“ 這是法耶,她13歲,住在丹佛。就像所有的青少年一樣,她也想被別人喜歡并與人相處融洽。 這是星期天晚上。 她正在為下周的學(xué)校生活做準(zhǔn)備。 她有些害怕,并且有一點(diǎn)困惑,因?yàn)?盡管她媽媽一直告訴她說 她很漂亮, 但是每天在學(xué)校都會有人說她長得難看。 因?yàn)樗龐寢尭嬖V她的和她在學(xué)校的朋友 或同齡人告訴她的是不同的, 所以她不知道該相信誰。 因此,她為自己拍攝了一個(gè)視頻并放到了YouTube上, 然后她讓大家來評論: “我長得漂亮還是難看?” 截止目前,法耶共收到了超過13000個(gè)評論。 它們中的一些很下流,不值一提。 這是一個(gè)普通的、看起來很健康的少女 在她生命中情感最脆弱的時(shí)光收到的回復(fù)。 有成千上萬的人們上傳這樣的視頻, 他們中大部分都是十幾歲的女孩,用這種方式來接觸外界。然而是什么導(dǎo)致他們這樣做的呢?
Well, today's teenagers are rarely alone. They're under pressure to be online and available at all times,talking, messaging, liking, commenting, sharing, posting — it never ends. Never before have we been so connected, so continuously, so instantaneously, so young. And as one mom told me, it's like there's a party in their bedroom every night. There's simply no privacy. And the social pressures that go along with that are relentless. This always-on environment is training our kids to value themselves based on the number of likes they get and the types of comments that they receive. There's no separation between online and offline life. What's real or what isn't is really hard to tell the difference between. And it's also really hard to tell the difference between what's authentic and what's digitally manipulated.What's a highlight in someone's life versus what's normal in the context of everyday.
今天的青少年很少獨(dú)處。 他們被迫上網(wǎng)并隨時(shí)保持在線, 聊天、發(fā)信息、點(diǎn)贊、評論、分享、上傳—— 無休無止。 我們之前從來沒有如此被緊密地聯(lián)系, 而且是如此地?zé)o休無止、如此快速,如此年輕。 正如一位媽媽跟我說的,似乎每天晚上他們的臥室里都有聚會。 簡直毫無隱私。 而由此伴隨而來的社會壓力也是殘酷的。 這種永遠(yuǎn)在線的環(huán)境將我們的孩子訓(xùn)練成 要靠通過他們獲得的點(diǎn)贊數(shù)量 和收到的評論來肯定自己的價(jià)值。 沒有線上和線下之分, 很難區(qū)分什么是真實(shí)的什么不是真實(shí)的, 也很難區(qū)分現(xiàn)實(shí) 和虛擬世界。也分不清日常生活和精彩時(shí)光。
And where are they looking to for inspiration? Well, you can see the kinds of images that are covering the newsfeeds of girls today. Size zero models still dominate our catwalks. Airbrushing is now routine.And trends like #thinspiration, #thighgap, #bikinibridge and #proana. For those who don't know, #proana means pro-anorexia. These trends are teamed with the stereotyping and flagrant objectification of women in today's popular culture. It is not hard to see what girls are benchmarking themselves against. But boys are not immune to this either. Aspiring to the chiseled jaw lines and ripped six packs of superhero-like sports stars and playboy music artists.
那他們又從哪里去獲得靈感呢? 你可以看看那些今天出現(xiàn)在各種新聞中 女孩的形象。 “零號尺寸”模特仍然統(tǒng)治著T形臺。 修飾照片現(xiàn)在也很常見。 現(xiàn)在的趨勢是#勵(lì)瘦、#大腿間距、 #比基尼橋和#安娜運(yùn)動(dòng)。 要跟那些不明白這些的人提一下,#安娜運(yùn)動(dòng)的意思是支持厭食。 這些趨勢與今天的流行文化中對女性的刻板印象 和公然物化結(jié)合在一起。 從中不難看出女孩子們是怎樣定位自己的。 但是男孩子們對此也不能幸免。 他們渴望擁有輪廓分明的下巴線條和像英雄般的體育明星以及花花公子音樂藝術(shù)家所擁有的六塊腹肌。
But, what's the problem with all of this? Well, surely we want our kids to grow up as healthy, well balanced individuals. But in an image-obsessed culture, we are training our kids to spend more time and mental effort on their appearance at the expense of all of the other aspects of their identities. So, things like their relationships, the development of their physical abilities, and their studies and so on begin to suffer. Six out of 10 girls are now choosing not to do something because they don't think they look good enough. These are not trivial activities. These are fundamental activities to their development as humans and as contributors to society and to the workforce. Thirty-one percent, nearly one in three teenagers, are withdrawing from classroom debate. They're failing to engage in classroom debate because they don't want to draw attention to the way that they look. One in five are not showing up to class at all on days when they don't feel good about it. And when it comes to exams, if you don't think you look good enough, specifically if you don't think you are thin enough, you will score a lower grade point average than your peers who are not concerned with this. And this is consistent across Finland, the U.S. and China, and is true regardless of how much you actually weigh. So to be super clear, we're talking about the way you think you look, not how you actually look. Low body confidence is undermining academic achievement.
但是, 所有的這些表現(xiàn)的問題是什么呢? 我們當(dāng)然希望我們的孩子成長為一個(gè)健康、均衡發(fā)展的個(gè)人。 但是在這樣一個(gè)對相貌著迷的文化中,我們正將我們的孩子訓(xùn)練成 將更多的時(shí)間和精力花在外貌上, 而對于其他方面的身份認(rèn)同關(guān)注更少的人。 因此,他們會在人際關(guān)系、體能發(fā)展 和學(xué)習(xí)等方面開始受挫。 現(xiàn)在10個(gè)女孩中有6個(gè)會因?yàn)樗齻冇X得自己不夠好看 而不去做某事。 這些都不是瑣事。 作為人類以及社會和職場的參與者的發(fā)展來說, 這些都是基本的。 有31%,也就是說將近三分之一的青少年 會從課堂辯論中退出。 他們退出是因?yàn)?不想讓別人注意到他們的長相。 有五分之一的青少年在感覺不是很好的時(shí)候 甚至都不會在班級里露面。 考試的時(shí)候, 如果你覺得自己不夠好看,特別是如果你覺得自己不夠苗條的話, 那么跟那些不關(guān)心這些的同學(xué)比起來 你可能得到的平均分?jǐn)?shù)要比他們低。 這一點(diǎn)不管是在芬蘭、美國 還是中國都是一致的,而且不管你真實(shí)的體重是多少。 所以非常清楚,我們是在討論你所認(rèn)為的自己的長相,而不是你的真實(shí)長相。
But it's also damaging health. Teenagers with low body confidence do less physical activity, eat less fruits and vegetables, partake in more unhealthy weight control practices that can lead to eating disorders. They have lower self-esteem. They're more easily influenced by people around them and they're at greater risk of depression. And we think it's for all of these reasons that they take more riskswith things like alcohol and drug use; crash dieting; cosmetic surgery; unprotected, earlier sex; and self-harm. The pursuit of the perfect body is putting pressure on our healthcare systems and costing our governments billions of dollars every year.
對身體的信心不足會削弱學(xué)業(yè)成績。 而且也會有損健康。 那些對自己身體信心不足的青少年會更少參加體育活動(dòng), 吃更少的水果和蔬菜, 而會更多參加那些不健康的可能導(dǎo)致飲食失調(diào)的 體重控制訓(xùn)練。 他們的自尊心也會更低。 他們更容易受到周圍人的影響, 并且有更高的抑郁的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)。 基于以上理由,我們認(rèn)為他們有更高的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)去做 那些像酗酒、吸毒、 快速減肥、整容、無防護(hù)措施以及過早的性交 和自殘這樣的事情。對完美身材的追求正使醫(yī)保系統(tǒng)飽受壓力并且每年要花費(fèi)政府?dāng)?shù)十億美元。
And we don't grow out of it. Women who think they're overweight — again, regardless of whether they are or are not — have higher rates of absenteeism. Seventeen percent of women would not show up to a job interview on a day when they weren't feeling confident about the way that they look.
而且我們并不會因?yàn)殚L大而放棄追求完美身材。 那些認(rèn)為自己超重的婦女——不管她們 是否真的超重—— 會有更高的缺勤率。 17%的女性會因?yàn)?某天感覺對自己的長相不自信而不去參加那天的面試。
Have a think about what this is doing to our economy. If we could overcome this, what that opportunity looks like. Unlocking this potential is in the interest of every single one of us.
想一下這對我們的經(jīng)濟(jì) 會有什么影響。 如果我們能克服這些,將會帶來 哪些機(jī)會。 釋放這個(gè)潛能將有益于我們每一個(gè)人。
But how do we do that? Well, talking, on its own, only gets you so far. It's not enough by itself. If you actually want to make a difference, you have to do something. And we've learned there are three key ways: The first is we have to educate for body confidence. We have to help our teenagers developstrategies to overcome image-related pressures and build their self-esteem. Now, the good news is that there are many programs out there available to do this. The bad news is that most of them don't work. I was shocked to learn that many well-meaning programs are inadvertently actually making the situation worse. So we need to make damn sure that the programs that our kids are receiving are not only having a positive impact, but having a lasting impact as well.
但是我們該如何去做呢? 單獨(dú)的空談,也就只能到此為止了。 它本身是不夠的。 如果你真的想有所改變, 你得去做點(diǎn)什么。 而我們了解到這里有三個(gè)關(guān)鍵的方法: 首先我們得培養(yǎng)自己對身體充滿信心。 我們得幫助青少年想出 策略去克服跟形象有關(guān)的壓力 并且建立他們的自尊心。 好消息是現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)有許多這樣的項(xiàng)目。 壞消息是大多數(shù)這樣的項(xiàng)目沒有效。 我很震驚地了解到許多善意的 項(xiàng)目卻無意中 使得情況更糟糕了。 因此我們要確保 我們的孩子們正在接受的項(xiàng)目 不僅是對他們有積極影響的,而且還要有持續(xù)的影響。
And the research shows that the best programs address six key areas: The first is the influence of family, friends and relationships. The second is media and celebrity culture, then how to handle teasing and bullying, the way we compete and compare with one another based on looks, talking about appearance — some people call this "body talk" or "fat talk" — and finally, the foundations of respecting and looking after yourself. These six things are crucial starting points for anyone serious about delivering body-confidence education that works. An education is critical, but tackling this problem is going to require each and everyone of us to step up and be better role models for the women and girls in our own lives. Challenging the status quo of how women are seen and talked about in our own circles.
It is not okay that we judge the contribution of our politicians by their haircuts or the size of their breasts, or to infer that the determination or the success of an Olympian is down to her not being a looker. We need to start judging people by what they do, not what they look like.
We can all start by taking responsibility for the types of pictures and comments that we post on our own social networks. We can compliment people based on their effort and their actions and not on their appearance.
研究表明最好的項(xiàng)目 跟六個(gè)關(guān)鍵領(lǐng)域有關(guān): 首先是家人和親朋好友的影響。 其次是媒體和名人文化, 然后是如何處理調(diào)侃和欺凌, 同其他人基于長相的 競爭和比較的方式, 對相貌的討論——有些人 稱之為"身材談話“或”肥胖談話“—— 最后一點(diǎn),是你尊重 和看待自己的基礎(chǔ)。 這六件事對于那些 真正想要實(shí)現(xiàn)有效的身體信心教育的人來說 是至關(guān)重要的起點(diǎn)。 教育是很重要的, 但是解決這個(gè)問題需要 我們所有人提升自己并且成為我們生活中的婦女和女孩們更好的榜樣。 挑戰(zhàn)我們在圈子中如何看待和談?wù)撆缘默F(xiàn)狀。 我們不能僅憑政治家的發(fā)型和胸圍 去判斷她的貢獻(xiàn)大小, 或者因?yàn)殚L相不佳而推斷一個(gè)奧運(yùn)會運(yùn)動(dòng)員不會成功。 我們需要根據(jù)人們的所做所為去評判一個(gè)人,而不是他們的長相。 我們可以從對我們 發(fā)布在社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)上的圖片和評論 擔(dān)起責(zé)任開始做起。 我們可以基于人們的努力 和行動(dòng)去贊美他們而不是他們的相貌。
And let me ask you, when was the last time that you kissed a mirror? Ultimately, we need to work together as communities, as governments and as businesses to really change this culture of ours so that our kids grow up valuing their whole selves, valuing individuality, diversity, inclusion. We need to put the people that are making a real difference on our pedestals, making a difference in the real world.Giving them the airtime, because only then will we create a different world. A world where our kids are free to become the best versions of themselves, where the way they think they look never holds them back from being who they are or achieving what they want in life.
讓我來問問你, 你上一次對著鏡子親吻 是什么時(shí)候? 最終,我們需要跟社區(qū)、政府和企業(yè)一起努力去改變我們的這些文化, 這樣我們的孩子才能在成長中獲得完整的自我, 重視個(gè)性、多元和包容。 我們要讓那些正在改變 我們的現(xiàn)狀的人去改變 真實(shí)的世界。 給他們時(shí)間,因?yàn)橹挥羞@樣 我們才能創(chuàng)造一個(gè)不同的世界, 一個(gè)我們的孩子可以自由地成為最好的自己的世界, 一個(gè)他們不會因自己的長相而阻礙他們成為自己想要成為的人或者獲得想要的東西的世界。
Think about what this might mean for someone in your life. Who have you got in mind? Is it your wife?Your sister? Your daughter? Your niece? Your friend? It could just be the woman a couple of seats away from you today. What would it mean for her if she were freed from that voice of her inner critic, nagging her to have longer legs, thinner thighs, smaller stomach, shorter feet? What could it mean for her if we overcame this and unlocked her potential in that way?
想一下這對你生命中的某個(gè)人可能意味著什么。 你腦海中出現(xiàn)了誰? 你的妻子? 你妹妹? 你女兒? 你侄女? 還是你的某個(gè)朋友?也可能只是今天 跟你隔著幾個(gè)座位的某個(gè)女性。 這將對她意味著什么呢? 如果她能擺脫內(nèi)心挑剔的聲音 嘮叨她要有 更長更細(xì)的大腿,更瘦的肚子 和更短的腳。如果我們能克服這些并打開她在那方面的潛力,那對她來說又將意味著什么?
Right now, our culture's obsession with image is holding us all back. But let's show our kids the truth.Let's show them that the way you look is just one part of your identity and that the truth is we love themfor who they are and what they do and how they make us feel. Let's build self-esteem into our school curriculums. Let's each and every one of us change the way we talk and compare ourselves to other people. And let's work together as communities, from grassroots to governments, so that the happy little one-year-olds of today become the confident changemakers of tomorrow. Let's do this. (Applause)
現(xiàn)在,我們的文化中對形象的癡迷 阻礙了我們所有人。但是讓我們向孩子們展示真相。 讓我們向他們表明長相 只是身份的一部分, 而事實(shí)是我們愛他們是因?yàn)?他們是誰 和他們的所做所為以及他們給我們的感覺。 讓我們在學(xué)校的課程中設(shè)置自尊心科目。 讓我們每一個(gè)人改變 我們談?wù)撟约汉透吮容^的方式。 讓我們作為團(tuán)體一起努力, 從基層到政府, 以便這些今天一歲大的快樂的孩子 成為 明天自信的變革者。 讓我們這樣做吧。 (掌聲)
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