致命的大錯(cuò)
"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10."
"Qualifications: No education or experience."
"I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."
"My compensation should be at least equal to my age."
"Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC."
"Fired because I fought for lower pay."
"Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6'5" .
" "Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date."
"Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near."
"Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately."
打字錯(cuò)誤與語法錯(cuò)誤
"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."
"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."
"I am a rabid typist."
"Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981."
"After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work."
"Accounting cleric."
"As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments."
"Suspected to graduate early next year."
"Disposed of 致命的大錯(cuò)

"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10."

"Qualifications: No education or experience."

"I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."

"My compensation should be at least equal to my age."

"Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC."

"Fired because I fought for lower pay."

"Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6'5" .

" "Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date."

"Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near."

"Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately."

打字錯(cuò)誤與語法錯(cuò)誤

"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."

"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

"I am a rabid typist."

"Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981."

"After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work."

"Accounting cleric."

"As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments."

"Suspected to graduate early next year."

"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."

"Proven ability to track down and correct erors."

"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."

"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."

"Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."

不應(yīng)有的幽默

"Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house."

"Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order cook.)

"But wait...there's more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature."

"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."

"My fortune cookie said, 'Your next interview will result in a job'-and I like your company in particular."

"Title: Another resume from the 'Profiles in Excellence' series."

"Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it."

"Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks."

"Let's meet so you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' over my experience." .5 billion in assets."
"Proven ability to track down and correct erors."
"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."
"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."
"Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."
不應(yīng)有的幽默
"Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house."
"Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order cook.)
"But wait...there's more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature."
"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
"My fortune cookie said, 'Your next interview will result in a job'-and I like your company in particular."
"Title: Another resume from the 'Profiles in Excellence' series."
"Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it."
"Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks."
"Let's meet so you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' over my experience."