英語幽默小故事匯總大全
幽默(yōu mò)它是外來詞,這是一個(gè)音、意兩譯的詞,其表達(dá)恰到好處。一些幽默的英語故事,能提高我們閱讀英語的興趣,從而提高英語的閱讀能力。下面小編給大家介紹關(guān)于英語幽默小故事，方便大家學(xué)習(xí)。
英語幽默小故事1
Put Down My Shepherd Dog
Man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of
sheep. He tells the shepherd, "I will bet you 0 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock. " The shepherd thinks it over ; it's a big flock so he takes the bet. "973," says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. The shepherd says, "OK, I'm a man of my word, take an animal." Man picks one up and begins to walk away .
Wait, cries the shepherd, "Let me have a chance to get even . Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation ." Man says sure. "You are a quantitative economist for a government think tank ," says the shepherd. "Amazing!" responds the man, "You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?"
Well, says the shepherd, "put down my shepherd dog and I will tell you."
放下我的牧羊犬
有人在鄉(xiāng)間小路上偶遇一位牧羊人和一大群綿羊，他對牧羊人說：“我和你打賭，如果我猜中這群羊的數(shù)目，我得你一只羊，如猜錯(cuò)，你得我100元。”牧羊人想了一會，認(rèn)為這一大群羊可不好數(shù)，于是欣然接受?！耙还?73只?！贝巳嗣摽谡f道。牧羊人聽后大為驚奇，因?yàn)閿?shù)目的確不錯(cuò)。牧羊人說道：“我是個(gè)言而有信的人，拿走一只吧?！庇谑?，此人抱起一只就想離開。
“等等，”牧羊人急忙喊道，“給我一個(gè)扳平的機(jī)會吧。如果我猜對你的職業(yè)的話，你就空手走人，我要是猜錯(cuò)的話，你就再帶走一只?！贝巳诵廊煌??！澳闶且晃粩?shù)量經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)家，在政府智囊機(jī)構(gòu)工作?！蹦裂蛉苏f道?！疤衿胬?”此人應(yīng)聲說道，“完全正確!可是請告訴我你是如何推論出來的呢?”
“好吧，”牧羊人說道，“先把我的牧羊犬放下來我再告訴你?！?/p>
英語幽默小故事2
It All Depends
The mathematician's child and the economist's child were in the third grade together, and one day the teacher asked, "If one man with one shovel can dig a ditch in ten days, how long would it take ten men with ten shovels to dig the same ditch?" Both children raised their hands.
The teacher said to the mathematician's child, "Johnny , how long?" and little Johnny said, "One day, teacher."
The teacher looked at the economist's child and said, "John Maynard, is that right?"
Little John Maynard said, "Teacher, it all depends ."
要看情況而定
經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)家的兒子和數(shù)學(xué)家的兒子是三年級同班同學(xué)。一天，老師提出這樣的問題：“如果一個(gè)人用一把鐵鍬在10天內(nèi)挖出一條水渠，那么請問10個(gè)人拿10把鐵鍬，需要多少天才能挖好同樣的一條水渠?”兩人都舉起了手。
老師問數(shù)學(xué)家的兒子：“約翰尼，需要幾天?”小約翰尼答道：“老師，一天?！?/p>
老師看著經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)家的兒子，問道：“約翰·梅納德，他說得對嗎?”
小約翰·梅納德說道：“老師，那要看情況而定?！?/p>
英語幽默小故事3
Einstein's Question
When Albert Einstein died, he met three New Zealanders in the queue outside the Pearly Gates. To pass the time , he asked what were their IQs . The first replied 190. "Wonderful," exclaimed Einstein, "We can discuss the contribution made by Ernest Rutherford to atomic physics and my theory of general relativity." The second answered 150. "Good," said Einstein, "I look forward to discussing the role of New Zealand's nuclear-free legislation in the quest for world peace." The third New Zealander mumbled 50. Einstein paused, and then asked, "So what is your forecast for the budget deficit next year?" (Adapted from The Economist, June 13th 1992, p. 71)
愛因斯坦的困惑
愛因斯坦升天后在天國之門的外面遇到了三個(gè)排隊(duì)的新西蘭人。為了打發(fā)時(shí)間，愛因斯坦就問他們智商有多高。第一個(gè)回答說190。“太棒了，”愛因斯坦驚呼道，“我們可以討論歐內(nèi)斯特·盧瑟福對原子物理學(xué)的貢獻(xiàn)以及我的廣義相對論了。”第二個(gè)回答說150。“不錯(cuò)，”愛因斯坦說，“我期待著和你討論新西蘭的無核立法對世界和平的作用?！钡谌齻€(gè)人咕噥著說是50。愛因斯坦停頓了一下，然后問道：“那么閣下預(yù)測一下明年政府的預(yù)算赤字是多少呢?”(改編自1992年6月13日的《濟(jì)學(xué)人》第71頁的文章)
英語幽默小故事4
Where Am I?
A man takes a hot air balloon ride
at a local country fair. A fierce wind suddenly picks up, causing the balloon to violently leave the fair and carry its occupant out into the countryside. The man has no idea where he is, so he brings the balloon down to five meters above ground and asks a passing wanderer, "Excuse me, sir, could you tell me where I am?"
Eyeing the man in the balloon the passer-by says, "You are in a red balloon, five meters above ground."
The balloon's unhappy resident replies, "You must be an economist."
How could you possibly know that? asks the passer-by.
Because your answer is technically correct but absolutely useless, and the fact is I am still lost .
Then you must be in management, replies the passer-by.
That's right! How did you know?
You have such a good view from where you are, and yet you don't know where you are and you don't know where you are going. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now your problem is somehow my fault!
我在哪?
一人在某地區(qū)的鄉(xiāng)村博覽會上乘坐熱氣球玩。突然一陣狂風(fēng)刮來，熱氣球被吹到了一個(gè)遠(yuǎn)離博覽會的地方，把這個(gè)人帶到了鄉(xiāng)間。他不知道自己身在何處，因此把熱氣球降到了距離地面五米的地方，詢問一個(gè)路人：“打攪一下，先生，可否告訴我我在哪里?”
路人看了看坐在熱氣球里的這個(gè)人后答道：“你在地面之上五米處的一只紅色熱氣球里?！?/p>
熱氣球里的人很不高興：“你肯定是位經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)家。”
“你怎么知道?”路人問道。
“因?yàn)槟憬o出的這個(gè)答案技術(shù)上完全正確，但是毫無用處，沒有改變我迷路的事實(shí)?！?/p>
“如此說來你一定是位管理人員嘍?”路人回敬了一句。
“一點(diǎn)不錯(cuò)!你怎么知道的呢?”
“你在上面的視野那么好，但是不知道自己在哪里，也不知道自己要向哪里去。事實(shí)是，你現(xiàn)在的位置和我們相遇之前的位置完全一樣，但是你卻把你的問題歸咎在我身上?！?/p>
英語幽默小故事5
Economist Poem
If you do some acrobatics
with a little mathematics
it will take you far along.
If your idea's not defensible
don't make it comprehensible
or folks will find you out ,
and your work will draw attention
if you only fail to mention
what the whole thing is about.
If an economist you will be,
you must talk of GNP
and of elasticity,
of rates of substitution,
of the other propensity,
and marginal this, and marginal that.
經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)家之歌
如果你在玩花樣的時(shí)候
用上一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)數(shù)學(xué)，
它將讓你顯得高深莫測。
如果你的想法不是無懈可擊
那就讓它若即若離，
不然人們會揭穿你的老底;
你的工作將會引起世人的注意，
只要你沒有提及
你的葫蘆里到底賣的是什么狗皮。
假如你想在將來成為一名經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)家，
你就必須談?wù)搰裆a(chǎn)總值
以及彈性系數(shù)，
必須談?wù)撎娲剩?/p>
談?wù)撈渌麅A向
以及各種邊際。
英語幽默小故事6
What Do Two Plus Two Equal?
A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job. The interviewer
calls in the mathematician and asks, "What do two plus two equal?"
The mathematician replies, "Four." The interviewer asks, "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says, "Yes, four, exactly."
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question, "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says, "On average , four—give or take ten percent, but on average, four."
Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question, "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up , locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says, "What do you want it to equal?"
2加2等于幾?
一位數(shù)學(xué)家、一位會計(jì)師和一位經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)家申請同一份工作。面試官先把數(shù)學(xué)家叫進(jìn)了辦公室問道：“2加2等于幾?”
“等于4?！睌?shù)學(xué)家答道。面試官繼續(xù)問：“不多不少恰好等于4嗎?”數(shù)學(xué)家感到不可思議，看著面試官答道：“沒錯(cuò)啊，就等于4?！?/p>
接著，面試官把會計(jì)師叫了進(jìn)來，問了相同的問題：“2加2等于幾?”
“通常等于4，但上下有10%的浮動(dòng)，不過通常等于4?！?/p>
最后，面試官把經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)家叫了進(jìn)來，問了相同的問題：“2加2等于幾?”只見經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)家站了起來，關(guān)上門，拉上了窗簾，然后坐到面試官旁邊，低聲問道：“你想讓它等于幾?”
英語幽默小故事7
Where Did the Chaos Come from?
An economist, a philosopher, a biologist, and an architect were arguing about what was God's
real profession. The philosopher said, "Well, first and foremost, God is a philosopher because he created the principles by which man is to live." "Ridiculous!" said the biologist, "Before that, God created man and woman and all living things, so clearly he was a biologist." "Wrong," said the architect, "Before that, he created the heavens and the earth. Before the earth, there was only complete confusion and chaos! So clearly he was an architect." "Well," said the economist, "where do you think the chaos came from?"
混亂來自何方?
經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)家、哲學(xué)家、生物學(xué)家和建筑師討論上帝的真正職業(yè)是什么。哲學(xué)家說：“首先，上帝是位哲學(xué)家，因?yàn)樗麨槭廊硕ㄏ铝俗鋈说臉?biāo)準(zhǔn)?！薄岸嗫尚?”生物學(xué)家不以為然地說道，“在那之前上帝就創(chuàng)造出了男人、女人和世間眾生，因此很顯然他是位生物學(xué)家。”“錯(cuò)!”建筑師說道，“在那之前上帝創(chuàng)造出了天和地。而在他造出地球之前，世界完全被混亂和混沌所籠罩，因此他是位建筑師?！薄澳敲矗苯?jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)家不慌不忙地說道，“你們認(rèn)為這些混亂又是誰制造的呢?”
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