雅思復(fù)議申請(qǐng)全攻略之一：復(fù)議作文

　　金老師分析：

　　這個(gè)題目結(jié)尾問(wèn)同意不同意，在開(kāi)頭段回應(yīng)任務(wù)的時(shí)候，一定會(huì)清楚表明你的同意或不同意的意向，來(lái)完成任務(wù)回應(yīng)的初步評(píng)分!

　　例如：盡管人們使用高科技交流手段，應(yīng)該是不會(huì)喪失面對(duì)面交流能力的。因此我不同意題目中的說(shuō)法!

　　在這樣的任務(wù)回應(yīng)前提下，我們的主體段會(huì)論證為什么人們不會(huì)因電話和電腦的交流就喪失面對(duì)面交流的能力。

　　比如：①網(wǎng)上的交流和電話的交流很大一部分也是基于語(yǔ)言系統(tǒng)的，是面對(duì)面交流的延伸 ②今天的視頻電話和網(wǎng)上的視頻聊天等于是遠(yuǎn)程的面對(duì)面交流 ③面對(duì)面交流是人在長(zhǎng)期的進(jìn)化過(guò)程中形成的能力，不會(huì)因?yàn)椴怀Ｊ褂镁蛦适?/p>

　　當(dāng)然，根據(jù)評(píng)分要求，我們一定要寫(xiě)電話交流和互聯(lián)網(wǎng)交流的頻繁使用也會(huì)在一定程度上影響到人們的實(shí)際交流能力，因?yàn)樵趯?shí)際交流的場(chǎng)景中出現(xiàn)的一些情況，有很多是在遠(yuǎn)程交流時(shí)遇不到。這也說(shuō)明了為什么有些人長(zhǎng)期在網(wǎng)上，見(jiàn)到真人或在真實(shí)環(huán)境里，就變得手足無(wú)措!但這不是全人類的情況，是因人而異的。

　　以上是正常對(duì)本文的任務(wù)回應(yīng)和邏輯論證的一個(gè)建議系統(tǒng)。那么有很多考生在寫(xiě)這個(gè)文章的時(shí)候走題了，也就是沒(méi)有任務(wù)回應(yīng)，不回答文章的問(wèn)題，邏輯論述不切題!于是，就算詞句尚可，也不能拿到6分就6分以上。

　　復(fù)議作文題目

　　“More people are using mobile phones and computers to communicate. Therefore people are losing the ability to communicate with each other face to face. Agree or disagree?”

　　文章點(diǎn)評(píng)

　　In recent years, the proliferation use of electronic devices has brought much convenience to the public. However, the over-reliance of telecommunication may engender a detrimental effect to people’s face-to-face communication skill. In my opinion, the real chat should not be completely replaced by electronic devices.

　　開(kāi)頭段對(duì)題目理解有些偏頗，沒(méi)有討論被完全取代的問(wèn)題。一種能力的喪失不一定是一種事物和方式被取代!

　　With the assistance of cell phones and computers, the development of human’s society has accelerated. The biggest benefit we get from modern technology is that we have increasing access to contact with our partners as quickly as possible. By communicating online, not only entrepreneurs can accomplish their business with oversea clients, but also university professors are able to exchange expertise with other scholars. Besides, if we are remote from home, chatting online is also an effective way to keep the family bonds with our relatives. In general, in this information era, electronic devices enlarge our social circle and boost working efficiency of global village.

　　On the contrary, it is also worthwhile to mention that some people have the addition to relying on online community, especially youngsters. With the attraction of social networking sites and the fulfillment of making friends, they are more likely to perceive the virtual world as reality. There is a phenomenon that during days off people just wait for the messages from their online friends by clicking the mouse rather than make a real chat with soul mates. Consequently, estrangement and alienation among friendships is prone due to the serious lack of face-to-face communication.

　　文章應(yīng)該是論證真實(shí)交流是否會(huì)被互聯(lián)網(wǎng)交流影響而喪失，如果不會(huì)，為什么不會(huì)!但從文章主題段可以看出，本文只說(shuō)了互聯(lián)網(wǎng)交流的好處，以及沉迷于這樣高科技交流的問(wèn)題，沒(méi)有清晰回應(yīng)任務(wù)并給出切題的邏輯分析!另外詞句也有細(xì)節(jié)偏誤!

　　In conclusion, I do not think that we should restrict the frequency of using electronic devices so as to enhance the interpersonal skill. However, it is high time to find decent emotion and passion of communication instead of chatting with mate randomly.

　　金老師點(diǎn)評(píng)：

　　如果我是考官，根據(jù)評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，本文我最多給三個(gè)6一個(gè)5，任務(wù)回應(yīng)5分，邏輯、詞、句各6分，這樣還是5.5。

　　但文章的詞句還算可以，文章自成的邏輯也相對(duì)合理!如果有考官給5776，也就是任務(wù)回應(yīng)5分，邏輯、句式7分，用詞6分，本文就能到就6分。不過(guò)從詞句偏誤來(lái)看句式給7分的可能基本沒(méi)有!而由于任務(wù)回應(yīng)不好，邏輯也不可能到7!

　　不管怎么評(píng)，反正一項(xiàng)拿到分?jǐn)?shù)，就拖了后腿。因此很多考生的文章由于偏題和沒(méi)有回應(yīng)任務(wù)，就會(huì)停留在5-5.5，而沖不上6分!

　　本文復(fù)議，要從詞句用法和行文能力上打動(dòng)二審考官，給出單詞或句式中任何一樣7分，才能復(fù)議到6分。這個(gè)不太容易。所以這篇文章復(fù)議的成功性我看不大!

　　本文作者：偏鋒出國(guó)(公眾號(hào)：偏鋒出國(guó))

　　本文為原創(chuàng)文章，版權(quán)歸作者所有，未經(jīng)授權(quán)不得轉(zhuǎn)載!