簡短的搞笑英語句子集錦

　　近年一些年青人愛上了英語搞笑,引起了網絡上有關英語一場新的熱議。下面是學習啦小編帶來的簡短的搞笑英語句子集錦，歡迎閱讀!

　　簡短的搞笑英語句子集錦1

　　1， Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

　　不用和傻瓜吵架，因為他會把你的智商拉到跟他的水平，然后再用豐富的經驗打敗你。

　　2， Evening news is where they begin with „Good evening‟, and then proceed to tell you why it isn‟t.

　　晚間新聞總是以“晚上好”開頭，再告訴你為什么好不了。

　　3， Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

　　海豚可聰明了，你曉得不?只需馴養(yǎng)幾個星期，他們就能讓人類乖乖站在池邊給它們扔魚吃了。

　　4， Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

　　孩子定義：你先花2年教他們走路和說話，然后你再花16年叫他們坐定和閉嘴。

　　5， It‟s not the fall that kills you; it‟s the sudden stop at the end.

　　跳樓的時候，“啊~~“的時候還沒死，”啪!“那才是死了。

　　6， Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

　　絕對不要和長得丑的爭執(zhí)，他們已經沒什么可輸?shù)牧?lsquo;

　　7, A little boy asked his father , ”Daddy, how mach dose it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don‟t know son, I‟m still paying.”

　　一單純傻兒子問他爹：“爸，結婚到底要付出多大代價?” 他爸說：“兒啊，我真不知道、、、、我還在償付呢。

　　8, If at first you don‟t succeed, try again … unless you fail at skydiving.

　　如果一次不成功，別放棄，再試一次、、、、、除非你在跳傘。

　　9， A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

　　你趕不上的巴士永遠比你趕上的巴士跑得快兩倍。

　　10， It is said that 90% of the things we worry about will never happen, and the other 10% can be managed. So why do we worry, and what is there to worry about?

　　據(jù)說我們所擔心的事90%都不會發(fā)生，而剩下的10%又完全可以解決。所以，我們?yōu)槭裁匆獡哪?又有什么值得擔心的呢?

　　11， I keep the telephone of my mind open to peace, harmony, health and love. Then, whenever doubt, anxiety or fear try to call me, they keep getting a busy signal – and soon they‟ll forget my number.

　　我的“心靈電話”是為祥和、健康和博愛而設。每當懷疑、焦慮和恐懼試圖和我聯(lián)系時，電話總是在占線，所以很快它們就忘了我的號碼

　　12, If you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you.

　　如果你看到麻煩從路上向你走來，有一點可以確定，在觸到你以前，它們十有八九會滾進路邊的溝。

　　簡短的搞笑英語句子集錦2

　　Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 愛情就象照片，需要大量的暗房時間來培養(yǎng)。(老外也保守，要摸黑辦事，哈哈)

　　Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 后排座位上的小孩會生出意外，后排座位上的意外會生出小孩。

　　"Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep. 現(xiàn)在的夢想決定著你的將來"，所以還是再睡一會吧。

　　There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. 應該有更好的方式開始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每個上午都醒來。

　　"Hard work never killed anybody." But why take the risk? " 努力工作不會導致死亡!"不過我不會用自己去證明。

　　"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours! " "工作好有意思耶!"尤其是看著別人工作。

　　God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. 神決定了誰是你的親戚，幸運的是在選擇朋友方面他給了你留了余地。

　　When two„s company, three„s the result! 兩個人的狀態(tài)是不穩(wěn)定的，三個人才是!

　　A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view. 服飾就象鐵絲網，它阻止你冒然行動但并不妨礙你盡情的觀看。

　　The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn. 學的越多，知道的越多，知道的越多，忘記的越多，忘記的越多，知道的越少，為什么學來著?

　　Money is not everything. There„s Mastercard & Visa. 鈔票不是萬能的，有時還需要信用卡。

　　One should love animals. They are so tasty. 每個人都應該熱愛動物，因為它們很好吃。

　　Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要節(jié)約用水，盡量和女友一起洗澡。

　　Love the neighbor. But don„t get caught. 要用心去愛你的鄰居，不過不要讓她的老公知道。

　　Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. 每個成功男人的背后，都有一個女人。每個不成功男人的背后，都有兩個。

　　Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快樂的單身漢遲早也會結婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。

　　The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise. 聰明人都是未婚的，結婚的人很難再聰明起來。

　　Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 成功是一個相關名詞，他會給你帶來很多不相關的親戚(聯(lián)系)。

　　Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。

　　簡短的搞笑英語句子集錦3

　　1.Do you have a family? 你有孩子嗎?

　　2.It's a good father that knows his son。就算是最好的父親，也未必了解自己的兒子。

　　3.I have no opinion of that sort of man。我對這類人很反感。

　　4. He put 5 dollars into my hand," you have been a great man today."他把5美圓塞到我手上說：“你今天表現(xiàn)得很好。”

　　5.I was the youngest son, and the youngest but two。我是最小的兒子，但我還有兩個妹妹。

　　6.The picture flattered her。她比較上照。

　　7.The country not agreeing with her, she returned to England。她在那個國家水土不服，所以回到了英國。

　　8.He is a walking skeleton。他很瘦。

　　9.The machine is in good repair。機器已經修好了。

　　10.He allowed the father to be overruled by the judge, and declared his own son guilty。他讓法官的職責戰(zhàn)勝了父子的親情，最終宣布兒子有罪。

　　11.You don't know what you are talking about。你在胡說八道。

　　12.You don't begin to understand what they mean。你根本不知道他們在干嘛。 (not begin to：毫不)。

　　13.They didn't praise him slightly。他們大大地表揚了他。

　　14.That's all I want to hear。我已經聽夠了。

　　15.I wish I could bring you to see my point。你要我怎么說你才能明白呢。

　　16.You really flatter me。你讓我受寵若驚。

　　17.He made a great difference。有他沒他結果完全不一樣。

　　18.You cannot give him too much money。你給他再多的錢也不算多。

　　19.The long exhausting trip proved too much。這次旅行曠日持久，我們都累倒了。

　　20.You look darker after the holiday。你看上去更健康了。

　　21.As luck would have it, he was caught by the teacher again。不幸的是，他又一次被老師逮個正著。

　　22.She held the little boy by the right hand。她抓著小男孩的右手。(這里"by"與"with"動作主語完全相反)

　　23.Are you there?等于句型：Do you follow me?