初一英語幽默短文閱讀
幽默是人類獨有的品質、能力和交際方式，語言是人類特有的能力和交際工具，幽默的傳達和創(chuàng)造又往往是借助語言完成的。小編精心收集了初一英語幽默短文，供大家欣賞學習!
初一英語幽默短文篇1
有一個特別在乎錢的人，一天他叫兒子去買一盒火柴，并且告訴兒子一定要搞清楚每根火柴都是好的。他的兒子一會兒就回來了。這個人拿出火柴劃了一根，沒有燃著。他又劃了幾根還是沒有一根劃燃。他非常生氣地說:“我不是告訴過你要保證每一根火柴都是好的嗎?”
There was a man who cared more for money than anything else, one day he sent his son to buy a box of matches, and told the boy he must see that every match in the box was good, soon the boy came back. The man took out a match and struck it, but it failed to light, he tried several more, but none was good. He got very angry and said, “I told you every match must be good, didn't I?”
“是的，你確實說過，”孩子回答，“我把盒子里所有的火柴都試過了，每根都能劃得燃。”
“Yes,you did,” the boy replied. “I tried out all the matches in the box and every match lit.”
初一英語幽默短文篇2
There was a little girl whose mother was very strict. Her mother tried to make her daughter behave in a very decent manner, but the girl was still three and half years old. One day the family went to a party, and in the middle of the party the girl cried, "Mommy I want to go restroom.” This drew a lot of attention and the mother felt embarrassed about her daughter. At home she advised that whenever she wants to go to restroom she should say, "I want to sing.”
有一個小女孩，她的媽媽對她特別嚴厲。她媽媽試圖讓小女孩的舉止端莊，但是這個女孩只有三歲半。一天一家人去參加一個聚會，在聚會當中小女孩哭著說:“媽媽，我想上廁所。”這吸引了許多人的注意，母親也因為她女兒的行為而感到尷尬。回到家中，她要求女兒不管什么時候只要想上廁所就說:“我想唱首歌。”
After a couple of days the girl’s grandfather came to visit them. She liked her grandfather very much. At night, she slept with her grandfather, who put her to sleep with a story. After couple of hours, she woke up and said，"Grandpa I want to sing.”The grandpa was afraid of causing a disturbance past midnight if the girl began singing, so he told her in a very low voice, "Baby if you want to sing, sing in my ears.”
過了幾天，女孩兒的外公來看她和媽媽。小女孩非常喜歡她的外公。晚上，她和給她講故事的外公一起睡。過了幾個小時，她起來說:“外公，我想唱首歌。”外公害怕她如果在半夜唱歌會打攪別人，所以就用非常低沉的聲音告訴她:“寶貝，如果你想唱，那么就在外公的耳邊唱吧。”
初一英語幽默短文篇3
Two guys recently dead were given the option to stay either in Heaven or Hell fog the rest of their eternity. They asked if it was OK to look around first, and to their surprise,it was.First, they went to Heaven. All niceguys were there, dressed in white they sat on clouds playing harp. Quite a boring place, thought our heroes.
兩個家伙死了之后，被允許選擇是愿意呆在天堂還是地獄。他們提出能否到兩個地方先觀光一下，他們被允許了。首先他們來到了天堂。這里都是穿著白衣服看上去很正派的人，他們坐在白云上彈奏著豎琴。他們想:這是個多無聊的地方呀。
"Let' s go to Hell，”they said to each other.
“讓我們下地獄吧，”他們互相商量著。
Hell turned out to be a completely different scene. It was all bars, casino andamusement parks. Free drinks for everyone and a lot of people having a real good time.Back from Hell，the guys were asked to choose between Heaven and Hell. They both chose Hell.
他們來到了地獄，這里簡直是一番完全不同的景色。那里有酒吧、賭場和游樂園。每個人都可以免費喝酒，所有的人都享受著他們真正的快樂時光。當他們從地獄回來以后，他們不得不在天堂和地獄之間做出選擇。最后，他們都選擇了下地獄。
Back in Hell, they were immediately scuffled in the back of a sub-surface car and driven to a coalmine. Someone gave them a shovel each and told them to start working.
回到了地獄之后，他們立即被送進了一輛礦井車的后座，然后駛向了一個煤礦井。有人給他們每人一個鏟子，叫他們開始工作。
"What' s this? The last time we were here the place was entirely different.”
“這是怎么回事?上次我們在這里的時候完全不是這樣的。”
"Yes, but then you were tourists, now you are immigrants.
“是的，但是那時你們是游客，現在你們是移民。”
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