3.Divorce: All Good Things, And Some Very Bad Things, Come To An End

　　3.離婚：所有美好的和一些非常糟糕的事情，都結(jié)束了

　　Previously, we wondered aloud on your behalf whether there was anything truly as terrifying,mortifying, and soul scathing as the average experience of the institution of marriage in theUnited States. You're in luck! We found something worse: Divorce!

　　我們曾站在你的立場上聲討過，在美國是否還有比受婚姻制度的壓迫更凄慘、坑爹的經(jīng)歷呢。恭喜你!我們找到了更糟糕的事情：離婚!

　　Want to bet half of your income, 18 years of child support payments, and 50 to 90 percent ofyour property on the slim and shady proposition that your marriage is sure to succeed whereover half of all other marriages contracted on the same day will fail? Be our guest!

　　跟你同日結(jié)婚的人中，有超過一半的夫婦都離婚了，你還想賭上一半的收入、18年的撫育費(fèi)及婚前協(xié)議上50%-90%的財(cái)產(chǎn)來保證你和另一半能白頭偕老嗎?別傻了，權(quán)當(dāng)看客就好!

　　Will your soon to be blushing bride lose her bright cheerful smile and adopt a scowling eyewhen you bring up the subject of a prenuptial agreement? This, more than any other, is thesure forecast of an unsuccessful marriage. Look, if she's not prepared to risk her all, whyshould you take the plunge for two?

　　在提到婚前協(xié)議時(shí)，你老婆的表情會(huì)迅速由晴轉(zhuǎn)雨，分分鐘變身成母夜叉嗎?如果答案是肯定的話，那么就注定你們的婚姻不會(huì)美滿。聽好了，如果她還沒準(zhǔn)備好賭上一切，你又何必要冒險(xiǎn)呢?

　　In case you even need to contemplate how potentially costly a divorce may be, let's addanother scenario to the mix: It's too costly to consider, especially while the children are tooyoung to leave home, and you'd be on the hook for 10-12 years of support payments. So youwait it out. You wait until the kids are old enough to head off to college.

　　在你需要盤算離婚所帶來的經(jīng)濟(jì)損失之前，我們不妨換個(gè)角度來算一下這筆賬：離婚遠(yuǎn)比想象中的燒錢。特別是在孩子年幼時(shí)離異，你將承擔(dān)10-12年的撫育費(fèi)。所以要耐心等待，等到孩子上大學(xué)后再離也不遲。

　　How does 18 years of doing time like a long term felon sound to you? Pacing the walls of yourcell and cursing the day you ever let yourself be booked into this loveless sham? It happensmore often than you think – are your parents still married, chum?

　　像重刑犯一樣度過的18年婚姻生活聽起來如何?想要擺脫婚姻的牢籠，后悔踏入這無愛的幸福假象?離婚已是家常便飯——親，看看你父母的婚姻狀況就知道嘍。

　　2.Are You A Risk Taker? There's One Big One Left: Marriage

　　2.你愛冒險(xiǎn)嗎?還剩一個(gè)大冒險(xiǎn)——結(jié)婚

　　Earlier on this list, we pontificated on the fact that getting married pretty ruins thespontaneous lifestyle of both partners, both as solo individuals and as a couple. But, restassured, there's a distinction to be made here. Being spontaneous doesn't necessarily haveto mean that you are intrinsically prone to taking wild risks with your life. After all, there'snothing inherently risky about deciding on the spur of the moment to drive down to the pierfor an ice cream cone.

　　上文所述，婚姻會(huì)破壞雙方(原有的)的自在生活方式—不管是個(gè)人獨(dú)處還是夫妻一起的生活方式都將被迫改變，這未免有些武斷。在這兒我們來做些區(qū)分。自在生活，并不是意味著你本就想在野外冒險(xiǎn)。畢竟，即時(shí)決定開車去碼頭買蛋筒冰激凌本身并不存在風(fēng)險(xiǎn)。

　　However, if you enjoy truly risky endeavors, such as extreme martial arts competition,surfing rough waves, or cliff diving, you're going to need to check your lust for wildadventure at the chapel door. You certainly won't be able to indulge in such risky anddangerous past times when you're expected to watch the kids on a Saturday morning whileyour wife is at the supermarket.

　　如果你真心喜歡冒險(xiǎn)，酷愛極限格斗、沖浪、懸崖跳水等冒險(xiǎn)運(yùn)動(dòng)，那么婚前請考慮清楚自己到底有多熱愛野外冒險(xiǎn)。因?yàn)榛楹竽銓o法沉浸于往日冒險(xiǎn)時(shí)光，取而代之的是周六早上當(dāng)老婆要去逛超市時(shí)，你必須要照看孩子。

　　But, as it turns out, if you really want to live a wild and devil may care sort of existence, gettingmarried has more than its share of potential pitfalls and "winning ugly" scenarios. As statedabove, marriage is a proposition in which you essentially stake your home, career, income,and accumulated property on the thin likelihood of making it last for anywhere from 40 to 60years (sometimes longer). If that's your idea of the ultimate "Take no prisoners" thrill ride, beour guest!

　　事實(shí)證明，如果你愛野外冒險(xiǎn)，你就要接受會(huì)有危險(xiǎn)存在。同樣，婚姻也不像看上去那么簡單，它也存在一些陷阱和類似"winning ugly" 那樣的場景。正如前面所說，結(jié)婚就意味著，你將家庭、事業(yè)、收入及所有財(cái)產(chǎn)全部押上作為賭注，希望婚姻持續(xù)40到60年(甚至更久)，盡管你贏得機(jī)會(huì)微薄。若你仍想享受《我不是囚犯》(Take no prisoner)中的刺激生活，那還是不要結(jié)婚為好!

　　1.Marriage Lasts Forever (And We Mean It)

　　1.婚姻恒久遠(yuǎn)——(這是說真的!)

　　The moment you get married, you're married forever. Even if you later divorce, there will alwaysexist a specific time and place within the continuum of eternity in which you were married. Evenafter the both of you pass away, that moment will exist for the duration of the Universe. Oncemarried, always married. Even if you manage to escape the snake pit with your limbs intact,you will always leave a piece of your soul behind. That's the price.

　　從結(jié)婚的那一刻，你就永遠(yuǎn)已婚了。即便你后來離婚了，在永恒的時(shí)空中總有那么一段時(shí)間你是已婚的。哪怕你們你年老逝去，(結(jié)婚)那一瞬也將在宇宙中永恒。一時(shí)結(jié)婚，永久已婚。就好像，即便你毫發(fā)無損地逃離了蛇穴，你也會(huì)被嚇丟了魂。這就是代價(jià)。

　　Even if it lasts, you may still feel that you have wasted a significant portion of your youth, aswell as all of the opportunities that were laid before you, on being married. Many married people,both male and female, express extreme regrets regarding the chances they missed, or couldhave taken, which were instead sacrificed at the altar of holy matrimony.

　　即使婚姻延續(xù)，你也會(huì)覺得婚姻浪費(fèi)了寶貴的青春時(shí)光，已婚狀態(tài)使你丟掉很多觸手可及的機(jī)會(huì)。很多已婚人士，不論男女，都對自己當(dāng)初因步入婚姻殿堂失去或沒有抓住機(jī)會(huì)而深感懊悔。

　　At the end of your life, what memories, what experiences, will you have to look back on? Willyou regard the closing days of your existence with something like satisfaction, secure in theknowledge that you have lived a full, well ordered, and happy life? Or will you sigh with regret,despairing to the end over the life you have well and truly wasted?

　　生命彌留之際，你會(huì)記起哪些片段?憶起哪段經(jīng)歷?你會(huì)含笑追憶那幸福、滿足、安排得宜的快樂時(shí)光還是沉痛哀悼那灰心喪氣、一無所成的昨日歲月?

　　Nothing is guaranteed to us in life, including the optimum duration of life itself. Since all thingsare in flux, it may already be later than you think. If you're still on the search for your ultimateadventure, or your ultimate goal in life, it's time to get on the stick. Marriage will only slowyou down. Don't stand still!

　　生活中萬事無絕對，甚至生命本身也是如此。所有事物都在不斷變化，但這變化也許無法追趕思想的腳步。如果你仍在尋找終極探險(xiǎn)目標(biāo)或追逐生活最終目標(biāo)，那么行動(dòng)起來吧!婚姻只會(huì)讓你放慢腳步!別再原地踏步啦!