關(guān)于英語幽默短笑話精選

　　笑話的緣起應(yīng)與古代的優(yōu)伶相關(guān),與古典小說現(xiàn)也是相為印證的。下面是學習啦小編帶來的英語幽默短笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　英語幽默短笑話精選

　　(一)

　　兩名士兵 Two Soldiers

　　Two soldiers were in camp. The first one's name was George, and the second one's name was Bill.

　　軍營里有二名士兵，一個叫喬治，一個叫比爾。

　　George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"

　　喬治問：“比爾，你有信紙、信封嗎?”

　　Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.

　　比爾說：“有。”然后把信紙和信封給了喬治。

　　Then George said, "Now I haven't got a pen."

　　喬治又說：“我還沒有筆呢。”

　　Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter.

　　比爾又把自己的筆給了他。喬治開始寫信。

　　Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.

　　寫完后把信放進信封里，又問：“比爾，你有郵票嗎?”比爾給了他一張。

　　Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"

　　這時比爾站起來，向門口走去。喬治問：“你要出去嗎?”

　　Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.

　　比爾說：“是的。”隨即打開了門。

　　George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.

　　喬治說：“請幫我把這封信投進辦公室的信箱里，還有...”他停住了。

　　"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.

　　“你還要什么?”比爾問。

　　George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What's your girl-friend's address?"

　　喬治看著信封說：“你女朋友的地址是-?”

　　(二)

　　Best Reward

　　A naval officer fell overboard.

　　最好的獎賞 一名海軍軍官從甲板上掉入海中。

　　He was rescued by a deck hand.

　　他被一名甲板水手救起。

　　The officer asked how he could reward him.

　　這位軍官問如何才能酬謝他。

　　"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it.

　　“最好的辦法，長官，”這名水手說，“是別聲張這事。

　　If the other fellows knew I'd pulled you out, they'd chuck me in."

　　如果其他人知道我救了您，他們會把我扔下去的。”

　　英語幽默短笑話閱讀

　　(一)

　　你知道我是干嘛的嗎

　　One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their nightclothes.Two men stood outside and looked at the fire.“Before I came out,”said one，“I ran intosome of the rooms and found a lot of money.People don't think of money when they're afraid.When anyone leaves paper money in a fire，the fire burns it.So I took all the bills that I couldfind.No one will be poorer because I took them.” “You don't know my work，” said theother.“What is your work?”“I'm a policeman.“Oh!” cried the first man. He thought quicklyand said，“And do you know my work?”“No,”said the policeman.“I'm a writer. I'm alwaystelling stories about things that never happened.”

　　一天晚上，一家旅館失火，住在這家旅館里的人穿著睡 衣就跑了出來。兩個人站在外面，看著大火。“在我出來之前，”其中一個說：“我跑進一些房間，找到了一大筆錢。人在恐懼中是不會想到錢的。如果有人把紙幣留在火里，火就會把它燒成灰燼。所以我把我所能找到的鈔票都拿走了。沒有人會因為我拿走它們而變得更窮。” 　 “你不知道我是干什么的。”另一個說。“你是干什么的?” “我是警察。” “噢!”第一個人喊了一聲。他靈機一動，說：“那你知道我是干什么的?”“不知道。”警察說。“我是個作家。我總是愛編一些從未發(fā)生過的故事。”

　　(二)

　　我教老師 I Taught the Teacher

　　Mother asked her little boy, "Darling, what did the teacher teach you today?" "Nothing, Mum,"answered the son proundly, "instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and I told herthree."

　　母親問她年幼的兒子：“寶貝，今天老師教了你些什么?” 　 兒子驕傲地說：“什么都沒教，媽媽。她反倒問我一加二等于幾，我告訴她等于三。”

　　英語幽默短笑話學習

　　(一)

　　模仿 Imitation

　　A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. "Well, sit down and eat your tea," said hismother. "Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got somethingin it." Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache. "That'sbecause it's empty," said his bright son. "You'd be all right if you had something in it."

　　一個男孩放學回家時，覺得肚子痛。“來，坐下，吃點點心，”媽媽說，“你肚子痛是因為肚子是空的。吃點東西就會好的。” 一會兒，男孩的爸爸下班回家了，說是頭痛。 “你頭痛是因為你的腦袋是空的，”他那聰明的兒子說，“里面裝點東西，就會好的。”

　　(二)

　　一個數(shù)學問題 A Problem in Arithmetic

　　Bill is a good student and an intelligent boy. He likes to study arithmetic, and he can do all ofthe arithmetic problems in his book easily. One day on his way to school Bill passed a fruitstore. There was a sign in the window which said, "Apple-Six for five cents." An idea came to Billand he went into the store. "How much are the apples?" he asked the store. "Six for five cents." "But I don't want six apples." "How many apples do you want?" "It is not a question of howmany apples I want. It is a problem in arithmetic." "What do you mean by a problem inarithmetic?" asked the man. "Well, if six apples are wroth five cents, then five apples are worthfour cents, four apples are worth three cents, three apples are worth rwo cents, two apples areworth one cent and one apple is worth nothing. I only want one apple, and if one apple is worthnothing then it is not necessary for me to pay you." Bill picked out a good apple, began to eatit, and walked happily out of the store. The man looked at the young boy with such surprisethat he could not say a word.

　　比爾是一個好學生，也是個聰明的孩子。他喜歡學數(shù)學，課本上所有的數(shù)學問題他都能不費勁地解答。 有一天，在上學路上，比爾經(jīng)過一家水果店。該店窗戶上有個招牌上寫著：“蘋果--五美分六個。”比爾腦筋一轉(zhuǎn)，進了店門。 “蘋果怎么賣?” “五美分六個。” “但我不想要六個。” “你想要幾個?” “這不是我想要幾個的問題。這是個數(shù)學問題。” “數(shù)學問題?你說這話是什么意思?” “你看，如果六個蘋果五美分，那么五個蘋果四美分，四個蘋果三美分，三個蘋果二美分，二個蘋果一美分，一個蘋果就不要錢。我只要一個蘋果，如果一個蘋果一分錢也不要的話，那我也就沒必要給你錢了。” 比爾揀了一個好蘋果，開始吃了起來，然后興高采烈地邁出了店門。那個售貨員吃驚地望著這個小男孩，一句話也說不出來。