六月丁香五月婷婷,丁香五月婷婷网,欧美激情网站,日本护士xxxx,禁止18岁天天操夜夜操,18岁禁止1000免费,国产福利无码一区色费

學(xué)習(xí)啦 > 學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ) > 英語(yǔ)閱讀 > 英語(yǔ)笑話 > 2016經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)幽默笑話

2016經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)幽默笑話

時(shí)間: 韋彥867 分享

2016經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)幽默笑話

  從結(jié)構(gòu)上看 ,一則話語(yǔ)只要具有能產(chǎn)生幽默效果的關(guān)鍵語(yǔ)句即成笑話。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的2016經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)幽默笑話,歡迎閱讀!

  2016經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)幽默笑話大全

  (一)

  我想我是一只雞

  Psychiatrist: What's your problem?Patient: I think I'm a chicken.Psychiatrist: How long has thisbeen going on?Patient: Ever since I was an egg

  精神病醫(yī)師:你哪里不舒服?病人:我認(rèn)為我是一只雞。精神病醫(yī)師:這種情況從什么時(shí)候開(kāi)始的?病人:從我還是一只蛋的時(shí)候開(kāi)始。

  (二)

  欺騙的代價(jià) The Revenge

  Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice hesaid to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones."Wife: "No, I can't marryanyone after you."Johnson: "But I want you to."Wife: "But why?"Johnson: "Jones once cheatedme in a horse deal!"

  老農(nóng)約翰遜就要死了。他的家人都站在床邊。他聲音低沉地對(duì)妻子說(shuō):“我死后,我想你嫁給農(nóng)夫瓊斯。”妻子說(shuō):“不,在你死后,我不能嫁給任何人。”約翰遜:“但我希望你這么做。”妻子:“為什么?”約翰遜:“因?yàn)榄偹乖谝还P販馬的交易中欺騙了我。”

  2016經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)幽默笑話欣賞

  (一)

  最后的坦誠(chéng) Dying Man

  As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you thetruth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I wasworking late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I've slept withdozens of them."His wife looked at him calmly and said, "Why do you think I gave you thepoison?"

  一個(gè)男人在臨死之前向他的妻子傾訴說(shuō):“我死之前必須告訴你一些事情的真相。在我們的整個(gè)婚姻中,我一直都在欺騙你。在那些我告訴你我會(huì)工作到很晚的夜里,我是和其他女人在一起。而且還不止一個(gè)女人。我曾經(jīng)和很多女人睡過(guò)覺(jué)。他的妻子平靜地看著他,說(shuō)道:“你為什么沒(méi)有想到是我給你下的毒藥呢?”

  (二)

  傳教士買(mǎi)鸚鵡 Buy a Parrot

  A preacher is buying a parrot."Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked thepreacher."Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him."Do you seethose strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and whenyou pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm.""Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but whathappens if you pull both strings?""I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.

  一個(gè)傳教士在買(mǎi)鸚鵡。“你確信它不會(huì)尖叫,大叫或詛咒別人嗎?”傳教士問(wèn)。“哦,絕對(duì)不會(huì)。它是一只虔誠(chéng)的鸚鵡。”店主保證說(shuō)。“你看見(jiàn)它腿上的這些細(xì)繩了嗎?當(dāng)你拉動(dòng)右面的這根,它會(huì)背誦天主經(jīng),當(dāng)你拉動(dòng)左面的那根,它會(huì)背誦贊美詩(shī)”“太棒了!”傳教士說(shuō),“但是如果我同時(shí)拉動(dòng)兩條繩子,會(huì)發(fā)生什么呢?”“我會(huì)從樹(shù)干上掉下去的,你這個(gè)笨蛋!”鸚鵡尖聲說(shuō)道。

  經(jīng)典的2016英語(yǔ)幽默笑話

  (一)

  職場(chǎng)笑話大家都認(rèn)為我是頭

  Peter was telling a friend that he had just lost his job.

  皮特告訴他的朋友他剛剛丟掉了工作。

  "Why did the foreman fire you?" the friend asked in surprise.

  “為什么領(lǐng)班會(huì)開(kāi)除你?”朋友詫異地問(wèn)。

  "Oh," Peter said, "you know how foreman are. They stand around with their hands in theirpockets watching everybody else work."

  “哦,”皮特說(shuō),“你知道領(lǐng)班是什么樣的人。他們總是把手插在口袋了,站在旁邊看其他人工作。”

  "We all know that," replied his friend. "But why did he let you go?"

  “我們知道是這樣。”朋友回答說(shuō)。“但是為什么他會(huì)讓你走?”

  "Jealousy," answered Pete. "All the other workers thought I was the foreman."

  “嫉妒。”皮特回答。“其他所有的工人都認(rèn)為我是領(lǐng)班。”

  (二)

  時(shí)間就是金錢(qián)Time-Money

  As the taxi came to a screeching halt at a traffic light, I asked the driver, "Do you agree that'Time is money'?"

  當(dāng)出租車(chē)在遇到紅燈急剎車(chē)時(shí),我問(wèn)司機(jī):“你同意‘時(shí)間就是金錢(qián)’這種說(shuō)法嗎?”

  "Well, it's a very common saying. Who will care so much about that?" the driver answered.

  “哦,這是一個(gè)普遍說(shuō)法。在這個(gè)問(wèn)題上,誰(shuí)會(huì)在意那么多呢?”司機(jī)回答說(shuō)。

  "Look, the digits in the meter are still running when the car has stopped, "I pointed at themeter.

  “看,在車(chē)已經(jīng)停止的情況下,里程表上的數(shù)字還在跑。”我指著里程表說(shuō)。

  "Oh, yes. You've got a point here. In this case, time is money for both of us." added the driver.

  “哦,是的。你說(shuō)的挺有道理的。在這種情況下,時(shí)間對(duì)我們倆來(lái)說(shuō)都是金錢(qián)。”司機(jī)補(bǔ)充說(shuō)。

1497223