笑話長(zhǎng)期以來(lái)一直被學(xué)界視為不登大雅之堂的小眾。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的英語(yǔ)小笑話帶中文，歡迎閱讀!

　　英語(yǔ)小笑話帶中文大全

　　(一)

　　A Half

　　一半

　　Patient:Doctor, lately I hear only half as well as I suppose to.

　　病人：醫(yī)生，最近我的聽(tīng)力只有我應(yīng)該聽(tīng)到的一半。

　　Doctor:I don't understand that, but let's try a small test. Say after me: eighty-eight.

　　醫(yī)生：我不太明白，但是讓我們做個(gè)小測(cè)試。跟我說(shuō):88。

　　Patient:Forty-four.

　　病人：44。

　　(二)

　　Hurts

　　疼痛

　　A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."

　　一位男士去看醫(yī)生，說(shuō)，“醫(yī)生，無(wú)論我碰哪里，哪里都疼。”

　　The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"

　　醫(yī)生問(wèn)，“你是什么意思?”

　　The man says，“When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee-OUCH!When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."

　　這個(gè)人說(shuō)，“當(dāng)我碰我的肩膀時(shí)，肩膀很疼。當(dāng)我碰我的膝蓋——哎呦!當(dāng)我碰我的額頭時(shí)，它真的，真的很痛。”

　　The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you-you've broken your finger!"

　　醫(yī)生說(shuō)，“我知道你哪里有毛病了——你的手指破了!”

　　英語(yǔ)小笑話帶中文欣賞

　　(一)

　　Sleeping Pills

　　安眠藥

　　Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.

　　鮑勃晚上失眠。他去看醫(yī)生，醫(yī)生給他開(kāi)了一些強(qiáng)力安眠藥。

　　Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm.He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble abetting up this morning."

　　星期天晚上鮑勃呼了藥，睡得很好，在鬧鐘響之前就醒了。他到了辦公室，溜達(dá)進(jìn)去，對(duì)老板說(shuō)：“我今天早上起床一點(diǎn)麻煩都沒(méi)有。”

　　“That's fine” roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"

　　“好啊!”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪兒去了?”

　　(二)

　　Let Me Show You How

　　讓我教你

　　A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work.

　　家超市雇用了一個(gè)年輕人，他第一天上班報(bào)到。

　　The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom,and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store."

　　經(jīng)理熱情地歡迎了他，和他握手微笑，之后遞給他一把掃帚說(shuō)，“你的第一份工作是打掃商店。”

　　“But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly.

　　“但是，我是名大學(xué)畢業(yè)生，”年輕人憤怒地回答道。

　　"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom—I' 11 show you how."

　　“噢，對(duì)不起。我沒(méi)注意，”經(jīng)理說(shuō)。“來(lái)，把掃帚給我—我教你如何做。”

　　經(jīng)典的英語(yǔ)小笑話帶中文

　　(一)

　　I Cannot Leave

　　我不能走

　　There was a meeting with a large number of people. At first the speaker was very interesting, but as time went on, he became very boring. Finally when he was through,there was only one man sitting in the large room. The speaker walked up to the man and said, "Thank you for hearing me out when all the others left the room." "Oh! Don't mention it!" replied the man, "I cannot leave because I am the next speaker."

　　一大批人在開(kāi)會(huì)。最開(kāi)始，發(fā)言的人講得很有趣，但時(shí)間慢慢地過(guò)去，他變得很沉悶。最后，當(dāng)他講完的時(shí)候，只有一個(gè)人坐在大房間里。發(fā)言者走上前去，對(duì)他說(shuō)，“其他所有人都走了，而你卻聽(tīng)到最后，謝謝你。”“哦!別客氣!”那人回答說(shuō)，“我不能走，因?yàn)槲沂窍乱晃话l(fā)言者。”

　　(二)

　　A visitor to the zoo noticed one of the keepers sobbing quietly in a corner and on inquiry was told that the elephant had died.

　　一名參觀動(dòng)物園的游客注意到一名飼養(yǎng)員正躲在角落里默默地哭泣。他問(wèn)是怎么回事，別人告訴他大象死了。

　　"Fond of him，was he?"the visitor asked.

　　“他很喜歡那頭大象，是吧?”游客問(wèn)道。

　　"It's not that,"came the reply. "He's the chap who has to dig the grave."

　　“并非如此，”那人回答說(shuō)，“他負(fù)責(zé)給大象挖墓穴。”