爆笑英語笑話大全
近年來,冷笑話在電視媒體以及網(wǎng)絡上廣為流傳,帶來了一場嶄新的語言風暴。下面是學習啦小編帶來的爆笑英語笑話大全 ,歡迎閱讀!
爆笑英語笑話篇一
Bad Day at Work糟糕的上班日
A man joined a big multinational company as a trainee.
有一名男子加入一家大型跨國。公司接受訓練。
On his first day at work,he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone,
在他上班的第一天,他撥電話到餐飲室,并且,對著電話大聲喊!
"Get me a coffee quickly!"
“ 快點給我送杯咖啡過來!”
The voice from the other side responded,
電話另外-端的聲音卻響應說:
"You fool you have dialed the wrong extension!Do you know who you are talking to,dumbo?"
“你這個笨蛋,你撥錯分機了!蠢蛋,你知道你在跟誰說話嗎?”這名受訓的人回答說,
"No,"replied the trainee.
“不知道。”“你這個笨蛋,我是公司的總經(jīng)理。”
The man shouted back immediately,
這名男子立刻大聲吼回去:
"And do you know who you are talking to,you fool?"
“你這個笨蛋,你知道你在跟誰說話嗎?…總經(jīng)理回答:
"No,replied the General Manager.
“不知道。”這名受訓 的人周答說:
"Good !",replied the trainee and then put down the phone!
“很好!”,然后就把電話給掛了。
爆笑英語笑話篇二
Liar,Liar 騙子,騙子
A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing.
老婆與隔壁鄰居到警察局報案 說她的老公失蹤了。
The policeman asked her for a description.
警察要求,她形容一下。
She said,"He is 35 years old,6 feet 4 inches,has dark eyes,dark wavy hair,an athletic build,weighs 185 pounds,is soft-spoken ,and is good to the children."
她說:“他三十五歲,六尺四寸,黑眼睛,波浪狀的深色頭發(fā);體格健壯,體重185磅,說話很輕乘,而且對小孩子很好。”
The next-door neighbor protested,
隔壁鄰居期提出反駁說:
"Your husband is 5 feet 4 inches,chubby,bald,has a big mouth,and is mean to your children."
“你老公五尺四寸,胖嘟嘟 的,禿頭,有一個太嘴巴,而且對你的小孩稂刻薄。”
The wife replied,"Yes,but who wants"THIS KIND OF STUFF"back?"
老婆回答說:“你說對了,可是誰會要 這種沒用的廢物 回來呀?”
爆笑英語笑話篇三
A Henpecked Husband怕老婆的老公
A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself.
有一位怕老婆的老公接受心理治療師的建議要堅持自己的主見。
"You don't have to let your wife bully you,"he said."Go home and show her you are the boss ."
他說:“你不必讓你的老婆像惡霸一樣欺侮你?;丶胰プ屗滥悴攀抢洗?。”
The husband decided to take the doctor's asvice.He went home,slammed the door,shook his first in his wife's face,and growled,"
這位老公決定接受醫(yī)生的勸告。他回到家,用力啪答一聲關上門,在他老婆的面前:揮舞著拳頭,并且大聲咆哮說:
From now on you are talking orders from me.
“從現(xiàn)在起,你得乖乖聽我的命令。
I want my supper right now,and when you get it on the table ,go upstairs and lay out my clothes.
我現(xiàn)在就要吃晚餐,當你把它弄好放在餐桌上的時候,到樓上去把我的衣服擺放好。
Tonight I am going out with my friends.
今天晚上我要和我的。朋友外出,
You are going to stay at home where you belong.
你給我乖乖待在家里不許亂跑。
Another thing,you know who is going to tie bow tie?"
另外還有一件事情,你知道誰要替我打蝴蝶結領結嗎?”
I certainlydo,"screamed the wife."The Undertaker."
老婆尖叫著說:“我當然知道。是收尸的人。”