美式幽默笑話(huà)英文2017
“笑話(huà)”是引人發(fā)笑的故事.”這個(gè)有關(guān)笑話(huà)這種民間文學(xué)體裁的定義著眼于一個(gè)特殊的角度:“人——”聽(tīng)眾,即笑話(huà)的接受者。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的2017美式幽默英文笑話(huà)，歡迎閱讀!
2017美式幽默英文笑話(huà)篇一
Don't Get Caught
不要被逮著了!
Out in the forest preserve, a man strolled up to the fisher man and asked whether he'd had any luck.
在森林保護(hù)區(qū)內(nèi)，有個(gè)人走向一位正在釣魚(yú)的老兄并問(wèn)他有沒(méi)有收獲。
yesterday I caught fourteen bass in the morning and another twelve in the afternoon ,
“今天什么也沒(méi)有，不過(guò)你應(yīng)該昨天來(lái)見(jiàn)我才是。昨天早上我釣了十四尾鱸魚(yú)，下午釣了十二尾呢!”
"Well, that's very interesting. Do you know who I am?"
“哦，那相當(dāng)不錯(cuò)嘛，你知道我是誰(shuí)嗎?”
"No."
“不知道。”
"I happen to be the game warden "
“我恰巧就是監(jiān)視狩獵的管理員。”
"Oh. And do you know who I am? I’m the biggest liar you ever laid eyes on "
“哦，那你又知道我是誰(shuí)嗎?我是你所發(fā)現(xiàn)最會(huì)說(shuō)謊話(huà)的人。”
2017美式幽默英文笑話(huà)篇二
Learning to Share
學(xué)習(xí)共同分享
Johnny divided a piece of pie into two pieces, kept the bigger piece for himself and gave the smaller piece to his sister.
強(qiáng)尼把一塊派一分為二，把大的留給自己，小的給他妹妹。
"Hey," said his sister, "if I'd divided the pie, I would have kept the smaller piece for myself. "
“嘿，如果是我來(lái)分那塊派，我會(huì)把小的留給我自己，”妹妹說(shuō)
"Well, that's what you got, so what are you complaining about?"
“你不是分到小塊的嗎，還抱怨什么呢?”
2017美式幽默英文笑話(huà)篇三
Aren't Kidss Wonderful ?
小孩子實(shí)在了不起!
Mother got on the train with Little Johnny and Little Ronny.
媽媽和小強(qiáng)尼、小羅尼一起搭乘火車(chē)。
Little Johnny was full of questions, as usual: "What's an emergency brake, Mommy?"
小強(qiáng)尼一如往常問(wèn)東問(wèn)西，“媽咪，什么是緊急煞車(chē)?"
“Why did that policeman ask to see our tickets?"
“為什么那位警察叔叔要看我們的車(chē)票?"
"Why can't I lean out the window?" etc.
“為什么身體不能伸出窗外?"等等諸如此類(lèi)問(wèn)題。
His mother was becoming ever more exasperated.
媽媽實(shí)在忍不住要發(fā)脾氣了。
Finally, Little Johnny asked, "What was that last station we stopped at, Mommy?"
最后小強(qiáng)尼又問(wèn)：“媽咪，剛剛火車(chē)?？康氖悄囊徽?”
"I don't know, Johnny, and will you please stop pestering me? I'm trying to read. "
“我不知道，強(qiáng)尼，你可不可以不要煩我，我正在看書(shū)呢!”
A few minutes of silence passed. Then Johnny said, "It's too bad you don't know what station that was, 'cause that's where Little Ronny got off. "
一陣安靜后，強(qiáng)尼說(shuō)：“真糟糕，你竟然不知道羅尼下車(chē)的那個(gè)車(chē)站。"
2017美式幽默英文笑話(huà)篇四
A Lesson in Philosophy
哲學(xué)課一則
Why worry?
何必憂(yōu)慮呢?
Really, you have only two things.to worry about-either you are sick or you are well.
真的，你只有兩件事要擔(dān)心，你不是會(huì)生病就是身體健康。
If you are well, you have nothing to worry about,
如果你身體健康，那么就沒(méi)什么好擔(dān)心的。
and if you are sick, you have only two things to worry about-either you get well or you die.
如果生病的話(huà)，只要擔(dān)憂(yōu)兩件事，你不是康復(fù)就是死亡。
If you get well, you have nothing to worry about,
如果你康復(fù)的話(huà)，什么也不必?fù)?dān)心。
and if you die, you have only two things to worry about-either you go to heaven or you go to hell.
如果不幸死亡的話(huà)，你只要擔(dān)心兩件事，你不是上天堂就是下地獄。
If you go to heaven, you have nothing to worry about,
如果上天堂，什么也不需要你擔(dān)憂(yōu)。
and if you go to hell.you'll be so busy shaking hands with old friends, you won't have time to worry !
要是下地獄的話(huà)，你會(huì)忙著和老朋友握手寒暄，連擔(dān)憂(yōu)事情的時(shí)間都沒(méi)有!
2017美式幽默英文笑話(huà)篇五
Wow!That's a Bi g One!
哇!那個(gè)真是大得嚇人
One day a tourist walked into a Texas tavern and ordered a shot of whiskey. The bartender put a big tumbler full of whiskey in front of him.
某一天一位觀(guān)光客走進(jìn)一家德州酒店點(diǎn)了一杯威士忌，酒保競(jìng)給他一大杯的酒。
"What,s this?" asked the tourist.
“這是什么呢?，’觀(guān)光客問(wèn)道。
"Why, it,s a shot of whiskey! Don't you know that everything is big in Texas?"
“怎么了，那是你點(diǎn)的酒，難道你不知道德州每樣?xùn)|西都大得嚇人。”
Then, an armadillo ran past the door.
那時(shí)剛好有一只穿山甲跑過(guò)酒店門(mén)口。
“What was that?" asked the tourist.
“那是什么東西?’觀(guān)光客又問(wèn)。
"Why, that was a Texas cockroach. "
“哦，那是只德州蟑螂!”
By this time, the whiskey had gone to the tourist's bladder as well as his head,
喝了酒，觀(guān)光客感到腹脹頭昏，
and he asked the location of the bathroom
他問(wèn)哪里有洗手間，
The bartender directed him to go down the hall and to the right,
酒保告訴他下樓后右轉(zhuǎn)，
but the tourist turned left instead and fell into the swimming pool.
但觀(guān)光客卻向左轉(zhuǎn)，跌落在酒店的游泳池中。
The bartender heard the splash and went to investigate.
酒保聽(tīng)到水聲跑出去看個(gè)究竟，
As he put his head in the door, he heard the tourist cry. "Don,t flush the toilet ! "
剛把頭伸進(jìn)門(mén)就聽(tīng)到觀(guān)光客大叫，“不要按動(dòng)馬桶沖水喲!
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