超爆笑的簡(jiǎn)短英文笑話
超爆笑的簡(jiǎn)短英文笑話
冷笑話是近年來頗為流行的一種語言現(xiàn)象,主要以機(jī)智、幽默著稱。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來的超爆笑的簡(jiǎn)短英文笑話，歡迎閱讀!
超爆笑的簡(jiǎn)短英文笑話篇一
A Special Guest 特別來賓
A lawyer finds himself at the Pearly Gates at the same time as the pope. Both men are allowed to enter heaven, and the lawyer is ensconced in a magnificent mansion. But he sees that the pope is housed in a far more humble dwelling. Unable to restrain his curiosity, the lawyer asks St. Peter about it.
一位律師發(fā)現(xiàn)他和某教宗一起到達(dá)天堂的珍珠門，兩個(gè)人都被允許進(jìn)入天堂。律師被安置在一間豪華的別墅，但他卻見到教宗被安排住在非常簡(jiǎn)陋的住所。由于好奇心的驅(qū)使，律師問圣彼得其中原委。
“Well, you see,” replies St. Peter, “we have dozens of popes up here, but we’ve never had a lawyer before.”
“哦，你看我們這里有好幾十位教宗，可是你卻是第一個(gè)上天堂的律師呢!”圣彼得答道。
超爆笑的簡(jiǎn)短英文笑話篇二
Jee Talk about Luck! 好運(yùn)跟著保險(xiǎn)來
“For the last time, I don’t want any insurance!” said the harassed householder to the salesman.
“這是最后一次了，我不要買任何保險(xiǎn)!”被騷擾的房主對(duì)推銷員說道。
“Just a moment, sir. Please consider this: Just last month I sold a policy to a man much like yourself. The very next day his house caught fire. The house was completely gutted. To save himself, he had to leap from an upstairs window; he landed on his own car, went through the roof, broke both his legs and an arm.”
“等一會(huì)兒，先生，請(qǐng)您仔細(xì)考慮一下：上個(gè)月有一位先生長(zhǎng)得跟你很像，他剛買了一份保險(xiǎn)，隔天他家就著火，房子內(nèi)部全都被燒毀，為了保住性命，他從樓上窗戶跳下來，恰巧落在他的汽車上，穿過車頂，他摔斷了兩條腿和一只手臂。”
“Well, he was one of the lucky ones, wasn’t he?”
“喔!他就是你所說的幸運(yùn)人士中的一個(gè)，不是嗎?”
超爆笑的簡(jiǎn)短英文笑話篇三
Thanks a Lot Sarge 多謝了，班長(zhǎng)
The sergeant had just completed the morning inspection of the troops.
一位班長(zhǎng)剛完成部隊(duì)晨間檢查。
“Before I dismiss you, there’s just one announcement. Private Kowalski, your mother is dead. Dismissed.”
“解散之前，有件事要宣布一下，二等兵卡瓦斯基，你母親已經(jīng)過 世了。解 散!”
The soldier was devastated, of course, and the lieutenant was appalled at the sergeant’s heartlessness.
當(dāng)然，那位士兵遭受很大的打擊，而排長(zhǎng)也訝異于班長(zhǎng)的冷酷無情。
“For Heaven’s sake, sergeant, next time you have to inform a trooper of a loved one’s demise, please be a little more subtle,” he said.
“看在老天的分上，班長(zhǎng)，下次你要告訴弟兄們有親人死亡時(shí)，請(qǐng)多用點(diǎn)技巧，委婉一些，”排長(zhǎng)說道。
A few weeks later, sorry to say, the sergeant had another opportunity. Lining up his troops, he ordered, “All of you whose mother is still alive, step forward. Not you, Johnson.”
幾個(gè)禮拜之后，很不幸那位班長(zhǎng)又有一次機(jī)會(huì)。集合了部隊(duì)，他下 令道“：所有媽媽尚健在的，前進(jìn)一步。你，約翰遜，除外。”
超爆笑的簡(jiǎn)短英文笑話篇四
all’s well that ends well 結(jié)局好的就是好
three rather deaf friends met on a street corner.
三個(gè)重聽很嚴(yán)重的朋友在街角碰面。
“windy today, isn’t it?” said the first.
“今天風(fēng)好大，不是嗎?”第一個(gè)說。
“no, it’s thursday,” said the second.
“不，今天是禮拜四，”第二個(gè)說。
“me too; let’s go get a drink,” said the third.
“我也很渴，走，我們?nèi)ズ缺嬃希?rdquo;第三個(gè)說道。
超爆笑的簡(jiǎn)短英文笑話篇五
And you Think You’ve Got Problems 你認(rèn)為你有問題嗎?
“Boy, have I got problems!” the man said to the psychiatrist.
“乖乖，我真的有毛病了!”一位老兄對(duì)精神病醫(yī)生說道。
“Go ahead and tell me about them.”
“繼續(xù)說，告訴我你的問題。”
“Well, to start with, I’ve got an estate in the country, three Mercedes and a luxury yacht.”
“喔，是這樣的，我在鄉(xiāng)下有房地產(chǎn)，另外還有三輛奔馳和一艘豪華游艇。”
“So,what’s the problem?”
“問題在哪里呢?”
“I’m only make 0 a week! ”
“我一星期只賺一百塊美金!”
超爆笑的簡(jiǎn)短英文笑話篇六
Now That Hurts! 我的牙齒好痛喔!
The world’s cheapest man finally went to the dentist to have his teeth fixed.
一個(gè)非常吝嗇的守財(cái)奴終于去牙科看牙齒。
“Well, sir,” said the dentist, “I’m afraid you’ve waited too long to get these teeth attended to. They’ll all have to come out.”
“先生，”牙醫(yī)說道“，恐怕你拖得太久了，這些牙齒都要拔掉才行。”
“How much will that cost?” inquired the skinflint.
“那得花多少錢?”小氣鬼問醫(yī)生。
“A thousand dollars.”
“一千塊美金。”
“Here’s a hundred,” said the tightwad. “Just loosen them up a bit.”
“這里是一百塊，”吝嗇鬼說“。只要稍微把它們松動(dòng)一點(diǎn)就好了!”
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