超級(jí)搞笑的英語小笑話
超級(jí)搞笑的英語小笑話
冷笑話是近年來頗為流行的一種語言現(xiàn)象,主要以機(jī)智、幽默著稱。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來的超級(jí)搞笑的英語小笑話，歡迎閱讀!
超級(jí)搞笑的英語小笑話篇一
Don’t Get Caught! 不要被逮著了!
Out in the forest preserve, a man strolled up to the fisherman and asked whether he’d had any luck.
在森林保護(hù)區(qū)內(nèi)，有個(gè)人走向一位正在釣魚的老兄并問他有沒有收獲。
“No, nothing today, but you should have seen me yesterday. I caught fourteen bass in the morning and another twelve in the afternoon.”
“今天什么也沒有，不過你應(yīng)該昨天來見我才是。昨天早上我釣了十四尾鱸魚，下午釣了十二尾呢!”
“Well, that’s very interesting. Do you know who I am?”
“哦，那相當(dāng)不錯(cuò)嘛，你知道我是誰嗎?”
“No.”
“不知道。”
“I happen to be the game warden.”
“我恰巧就是監(jiān)視狩獵的管理員。”
“Oh. And do you know who I am? I’m the biggest liar you ever laid eyes on.”
“哦，那你又知道我是誰嗎?我是你所發(fā)現(xiàn)最會(huì)說謊話的人。”
超級(jí)搞笑的英語小笑話篇二
Sounds Fair 聽起來還算公平
A woman was reporting to her husband about the events of the day.
一位女士正滔滔不絕地向她先生訴說當(dāng)天發(fā)生的事。
“Oh, and I had a big fight with the electric company.”
“哦，另外我也和電力公司大吵了一架!”
“Really? Who won?”
“真的嗎?后來誰贏了?”
“Nobody, it was a tie. They don’t get any money and we don’t get any electricity.”
“沒有人贏，算扯平吧。他們沒拿到一毛錢，而我們也沒有電可用。”
超級(jí)搞笑的英語小笑話篇三
Learning to Share 學(xué)習(xí)共同分享
Johnny divided a piece of pie into two pieces, kept the bigger piece for himself and gave the smaller piece to his sister.
強(qiáng)尼把塊派一分為二，把大的留給自己，小的給他妹妹。
“Hey,” said his sister, “if I’d divided the pie, I would have kept the smaller piece for myself.”
“嘿，如果是我來分那塊派，我會(huì)把小的留給我自己，”妹妹說道。
“Well, that’s what you got, so what are you complaining about?”
“你不是分到小塊的嗎，還抱怨什么呢?”
超級(jí)搞笑的英語小笑話篇四
Aren’t Kids Wonderful? 小孩子實(shí)在了不起!
Mother got on the train with Little Johnny and Little Ronny.
媽媽和小強(qiáng)尼、小羅尼一起搭乘火車。
Little Johnny was full of questions, as usual: “What’s an emergency brake, Mommy?” “Why did that policeman ask to see our tickets?” “Why can’t I lean out the window?” etc.
小強(qiáng)尼一如往常問東問西“，媽咪，什么是緊急煞車?“”為什么那位警察叔叔要看我們的車票?“”為什么身體不能伸出窗外?”等等諸如此類問題。
His mother was becoming ever more exasperated.
媽媽實(shí)在忍不住要發(fā)脾氣了。
Finally, Little Johnny asked, “What was that last station we stopped at, Mommy?”
最后小強(qiáng)尼又問“：媽咪，剛剛火車?？康氖悄囊徽?”
“I don’t know, Johnny, and will you please stop pestering me? I’m trying to read.”
“我不知道，強(qiáng)尼，你可不可以不要煩我，我正在看書呢!”
A few minutes of silence passed. Then Johnny said, “It’s too bad you don’t know what station that was,’ cause that’s where Little Ronny got off.”
一陣安靜后，強(qiáng)尼說“：真糟糕，你竟然不知道羅尼下車的那個(gè)車站。”
超級(jí)搞笑的英語小笑話篇五
A Lesson in Philosophy 哲學(xué)課一則
Why worry?
何必憂慮呢?
Really, you have only two things to worry about—either you are sick or you are well.
真的，你只有兩件事要擔(dān)心，你不是會(huì)生病就是身體健康。
If you are well, you have nothing to worry about, and if you are sick, you have only two things to worry about—either you get well or you die.
如果你身體健康，那么就沒什么好擔(dān)心的。如果生病的話，只要擔(dān)憂兩件事，你不是康復(fù)就是死亡。
If you get well, you have nothing to worry about, and if yo die, you have only two things to worry about—either you go to heaven or you go to hell. If you go to heaven, you have nothing to worry about, and if you go to hell... You’ll be so busy shaking hands with old friends, you won’t have time to worry!
如果你康復(fù)的話，什么也不必?fù)?dān)心。如果不幸死亡的話，你只要擔(dān)心兩件事，你不是上天堂就是下地獄。
如果上天堂，什么也不需要你擔(dān)憂。要是下地獄的話，你會(huì)忙著和老朋友握手寒暄，連擔(dān)憂事情的時(shí)間都沒有!
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