爆笑到不行的英語(yǔ)笑話大全
笑話一般比較短小,喜劇性很強(qiáng),普遍存在于人們的日常生活中。笑話的娛樂(lè)作用可以減輕人的心理壓力,促進(jìn)身體健康。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的爆笑到不行的英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎閱讀!
爆笑到不行的英語(yǔ)笑話篇一
病人和他的大夫
A woman complained that her husband constantly hung around the house，doing or saying nothing. To please her, he went to see a psychiatrist.“Just lie down on the couch and we'll talk. "the doctor told him. "If you think of something to say, fine. If not，maybe next time.”
一位婦女總是抱怨其丈夫在家里轉(zhuǎn)來(lái)轉(zhuǎn)去，無(wú)所事是，為了使老婆高興，他找到了精神病學(xué)專家。“你就躺在沙發(fā)上，我們來(lái)談?wù)劇?rdquo;精神病醫(yī)生告訴他:“如呆你想起什么就說(shuō)，沒(méi)有的話，下次再講也行。”
The guy got himself comfortable and fell fast asleep. At the end of the hour，the doctor woke hirn up and said，"That will be all for today—0，please. "The patient paid and left.
這位男士舒適地躺在沙發(fā)上，很快就入睡了。到了一小時(shí)，大夫喚醒了他說(shuō):“今天就到這兒吧，請(qǐng)交100元。”病人付了錢之后就走了，從此，那個(gè)人每周三、四來(lái)就診。每次，他總是一句話也不說(shuō)，光是睡覺(jué)，而且每次都付錢。第三周，病人來(lái)后坐下，然后又跳了起來(lái)。
The man came back every Tuesday and Thursday after that. Each time，he fell asleep without saying a word，but paid the fee. The third week, the patient came in，sat down and then jumped right up again."Aha,"， marveled the doctor. "Have you thought of something to say?"
“啊哈!”大夫驚喜道，“你想出要說(shuō)的話了嗎?”
"Yes，do you need a partner ?"
“是的，你需要一個(gè)助手嗎?”
爆笑到不行的英語(yǔ)笑話篇二
執(zhí)行指令
My friend Gilbert and some other truck drivers were to deliver loads of gravel out in the country. The directions they were given said to go down a certain road and, when they came to a cow tied to a fence post, to turn right.
我朋友吉爾波特和一些卡車司機(jī)到農(nóng)村去送沙石。他們得到的地址只說(shuō)沿著某條路一直走，當(dāng)看到一頭牛拴在蒸笆柱上時(shí)，就向右轉(zhuǎn)。
While Gilbert was driving along slowly，he came upon a farmer leading a cow down the road. Assuming this was his landmark, he stopped and asked the man where his cow had been tied. After Gilbert explained why he wanted to know， the farmer took the cow back and tied it to the post. All the loads got delivered.
正當(dāng)吉爾波特開(kāi)車?yán)m(xù)續(xù)前進(jìn)時(shí)，他看見(jiàn)一位農(nóng)夫牽著一頭牛沿路而來(lái)。他猜測(cè)這就是他要找的地方。他停下了車問(wèn)那位農(nóng)夫，他的牛剛才拴在什么地方。在吉爾波特向農(nóng)夫說(shuō)明了他為什么想知道這個(gè)問(wèn)題的答案之后，那位農(nóng)夫把牛牽回來(lái)，把它拴在柱子止，所有的貨都運(yùn)到了此地。
爆笑到不行的英語(yǔ)笑話篇三
母親與教師
I teach middle-school choir and occasionally have my own children in class. One day my son asked if he could have a pencil. As a teacher,I normally do not lend items to unprepared students;but as a mother，I help my children whenever I can. I asked my son whether he was speaking to his teacher or his mother. He replied，“It degends on who has the pencil."
我教初中的唱詩(shī)班，偶爾會(huì)教到自己的孩子。一天，我兒子問(wèn)我是否能借給他一支鉛筆。作為一位老師，我一般不借東西給那些不做課堂準(zhǔn)備的學(xué)生。但作為一位母親，我應(yīng)隨時(shí)幫助我的孩子。于是，我問(wèn)兒子他是在跟老師說(shuō)話，還是在跟母親說(shuō)話。而他卻說(shuō):“那要看誰(shuí)有鉛筆了。”
爆笑到不行的英語(yǔ)笑話篇四
聰明的大夫
As a doctor is examining a patient, his nurse bursts in and says”Excuse me，but that man you just treated walked out of the door and collapsed on the front step. What should I do?"
大夫正為一個(gè)病人做檢查時(shí)，她的護(hù)士闖了進(jìn)來(lái)說(shuō):“請(qǐng)?jiān)彛瑒偛旁谀@兒看病的那位病人出門時(shí)摔在前面的臺(tái)階上了，我該怎么辦呢?”
"Turn him around，"the doctor answered，"So it looks like he was walking in.”
大夫回答:“給他轉(zhuǎn)個(gè)身，這樣，別人看起來(lái)會(huì)以為他是正往里走。”
爆笑到不行的英語(yǔ)笑話篇五
沙丁魚的抱怨
Two sardines were swimming in New York harbor when one suggested they go up to the Bronx for the weekend.”I'd rather not，"the other objected. "It's such a long swim."
兩條沙丁魚在紐約港游水，其中的一條建議到布朗恩斯(Bronx)去度周末。另一條沙丁魚反對(duì)說(shuō):“我認(rèn)為最好不去。要游的距離太長(zhǎng)了。”
"How about taking the subway?'his companion asked.
“那么從地鐵通道過(guò)去怎么樣?”他的同伴問(wèn)。
"No way!"replied the second sardine."And be packed in there like people?"
“不可能，”第二條沙丁魚說(shuō):“難選要像人類那樣到地鐵里去亂擠嗎?”
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