笑破肚皮的英語(yǔ)笑話大全
笑破肚皮的英語(yǔ)笑話大全
近年來(lái),冷笑話作為一種新興的語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象在網(wǎng)絡(luò)、雜志上十分盛行。若要推論現(xiàn)行冷笑話的來(lái)源,或已無(wú)從考證。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的笑破肚皮的英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎閱讀!
笑破肚皮的英語(yǔ)笑話篇一
The Burned Ears
A guy burned two ears... so they were asking him at the hospital how it happened.
一個(gè)男人的兩只耳朵都被燙傷了...在醫(yī)院的時(shí)候別人就問(wèn)他是如何燙到的。
He said, "I was ironing my clothing and the phone rang...so instead of the phone I picked up the iron and burned my ear..."
他說(shuō)：“我正在熨衣服的時(shí)候，電話響了...當(dāng)時(shí)我把熨斗當(dāng)成電話抓起來(lái)接聽(tīng)了。”
"But how the heck did you burn the other ear?" The doctor asked.
醫(yī)生說(shuō)：“但是你是如何燙到另一只耳朵的呢?”
"How do you think I called you people?"
“因?yàn)槲蚁虢o你打電話呀!”
笑破肚皮的英語(yǔ)笑話篇二
Make Money 掙錢
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
一位年輕人請(qǐng)教一位十分有錢的老人如何變得如此富有。
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.
老人撫摸著身上的精紡羊毛衫說(shuō)：“孩子啊，1932年，全國(guó)經(jīng)濟(jì)大蕭條，當(dāng)時(shí)我身上只有一個(gè)五分鎳幣。”
"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.
“我用這僅有的五分錢投資買了一個(gè)蘋果，然后用了一整天的時(shí)間來(lái)擦它，到了晚上的時(shí)候，我把這只蘋果賣掉了，賣了10分錢。”
"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of class="main">
笑破肚皮的英語(yǔ)笑話大全
“第二天早上，我用這十分錢買了兩個(gè)蘋果，用了一整天的時(shí)間擦他們。大約下午5點(diǎn)左右，我把他們賣了，賣了20分錢。就這樣過(guò)了一個(gè)月，月末的時(shí)候，我居然一共掙了一塊三毛七。”
"Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."
“這時(shí)，我的岳父去世了，留給了我們兩百萬(wàn)。”
笑破肚皮的英語(yǔ)笑話篇三
Does dog know the proverb?
Does dog know the proverb? 狗也知道這個(gè)諺語(yǔ)嗎?
A little boy did not like the look of the barking dog. 一個(gè)小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子?！ ?"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"“沒(méi)有關(guān)系，”一位先生說(shuō)，“不用害怕，你不知道這條諺語(yǔ)嗎：‘吠狗不咬人。’”
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎?”
笑破肚皮的英語(yǔ)笑話篇四
Disappearing Act
When a woman reported her husband missing, the officer in charge looked at the photograph she handed him, then asked if she wished to give her husband any message if they found him. "Yes," she replied readily. "Tell him my mother isn't visiting after all."
一個(gè)女人向警察報(bào)案，說(shuō)丈夫失蹤了。警察看過(guò)丈夫的照片，問(wèn)女人如果他們能找到她丈夫，她有沒(méi)有什么要和丈夫說(shuō)的。女人很樂(lè)意地說(shuō)：“是的，告訴他我媽媽不來(lái)了。”
笑破肚皮的英語(yǔ)笑話篇五
The amazing golf ball 神奇的高爾夫球
A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!"
一個(gè)高爾夫球手正要發(fā)球，跑上來(lái)一個(gè)無(wú)限諂媚的小個(gè)子推銷員，喊到：“ 等一下。在您發(fā)球前，我請(qǐng)您看一樣超神奇的東西。”
The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?"
高爾夫球手頗感被打攪，說(shuō)道：“什么東西啊?”
"It's a special golf ball," says the salesman. "You can never lose it!"
“是一個(gè)很特別的高爾夫球 - 一個(gè)永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)被弄丟的球!”
"you can never lose it"，scoffs the golfer, "What if you hit it into the water?
“永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)丟的球”，高爾夫球手嘲諷地說(shuō)，“如果球被打到水里呢?”
"No problem," says the salesman. "It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it."
“沒(méi)問(wèn)題。它能漂起來(lái)，還能探測(cè)到哪里是岸，然后自己就能轉(zhuǎn)到岸邊。”
"Well, what if you hit it into the woods?"
“那么如果掉到樹(shù)叢里呢?”
"Easy," says the salesman. "It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed."
“簡(jiǎn)單。它能發(fā)出嘟嘟聲，這樣你就能循聲而至了。”
"Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if your round goes late and it gets dark?"
“那如果天黑了怎么找它呢?”
"No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I'm telling you, you can never lose this golf ball!"
“球會(huì)在黑暗中發(fā)光啊!一句話，你永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)找不到這個(gè)球。”
The golfer buys it at once. "Just one question," he says to the salesman. "Where did you get it?"
高爾夫球手當(dāng)即買下這個(gè)球，隨口問(wèn)了一句：“你從哪搞到它的?”
"I found it."
“是我撿到的啦!”
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