超短爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話大全
笑話是民族文化及社會(huì)生活中不可缺少的一環(huán),從古至今都擁有廣大的受眾,深受人們喜愛(ài)。本文是超短爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話，希望對(duì)大家有幫助!
超短爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話篇一
Good excuse 巧妙的借口
Police officers hear plenty of excuses from people caught parking only for the handicapped1 persons.
Once a policeman stopped a man for doing so. When the man was questioned if he knew the parking regulations. He answered correctly. Then the policeman further questioned why he was parking his car there.
"Oh, I injured my leg last week. The doctor said I would become disabled if I didn't get proper treatment. Now I'm experiencing what I feel like to be an disabled person."
當(dāng)那些正常人因把車(chē)錯(cuò)停在專(zhuān)供殘疾人用的停車(chē)位而被警察抓到時(shí)，他們總是能找到各種各樣的借口。
一次，一個(gè)警察阻止一個(gè)人把車(chē)停在殘疾人的專(zhuān)用位上。當(dāng)警察問(wèn)他是否知道這個(gè)停車(chē)的規(guī)定時(shí)，他說(shuō)她知道。然后警察接著問(wèn)他為什么還故意把車(chē)停在那兒。
那人回答說(shuō)：“哦，上星期我摔傷了腿，大夫說(shuō)，如果我不很好治療，我就會(huì)變殘疾，現(xiàn)在我想先體驗(yàn)一下作個(gè)殘疾人是什么滋味。”
超短爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話篇二
An unexpected call 意想不到的電話
Mrs. Brown dialed her daughter's number and sang out, "Hello, darling. How are you?"
"Terrible, Mom. My back is killing1 me, the children are acting2 up, the house is a mess…and I'm expecting guest for dinner."
"Don't worry, darling. I'm coming right over. I'll feed the kids, clean up your place, and cook a dinner your guests will never forget."
You're an angel! How is Dad?"
"Dad? Sweetheart, you know Daddy died nine years ago."
Pause. "What number are you calling? Hold on? Please!" the voice wailed3. "Does this mean you are not coming over?"
布朗夫人給她女兒撥了個(gè)電話，然后高興地說(shuō)：”哎，親愛(ài)的，你好嗎?“
“太糟了， 媽媽。我的腰疼得很厲害。孩子們一直在鬧，房子里亂七八糟的，我還要為六為客人準(zhǔn)備晚餐。”
“親愛(ài)的，別著急，我馬上就來(lái)。我會(huì)把孩子們喂飽，清理好房子，然后給客人們做一頓難以忘懷的晚餐。“
“你真是個(gè)救命的菩薩，爸爸怎么樣?“
“你爸爸?親愛(ài)的，你這是怎么啦?你爸爸九年前就死了呀?”
沉默了一會(huì)，“您是不是撥錯(cuò)了電話?請(qǐng)別掛上，”那個(gè)聲音變的有氣無(wú)力了，“是不是這就意味著您不會(huì)來(lái)啦?”
超短爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話篇三
A hasty retreat 快速逃命
After a week's absence, a mountain man staggered1 home, clothes torn, shoes worn thin. He was exhausted2.
"Where have you been?" asked his wife.
"I went out in the woods to check the still." Replied the mountain man, "and a giant bear stepped out in front of me. I took off running ahead of him and finally lost him. I never ran so fast in my life."
"But that was a week ago." Said the wife. "Where have you been since?"
The mountain man collapsed3 in a chair. "Walking back."
離開(kāi)家一個(gè)星期后，那個(gè)登山人搖搖晃晃地回到了家，他的衣服也破了，鞋底也磨薄了，他本人更是疲憊不堪的樣子。
“你到哪兒去了?”老婆問(wèn)。
“那天我到森林里去檢查有無(wú)無(wú)非法釀酒的地方，”登山人敘述著，“忽然一只大熊出現(xiàn)在我的面前，我拔腿就跑，熊就在后面追，好不容易才把它甩掉，我這輩子從來(lái)沒(méi)有跑這么快。”
“可是那是一周前的事了，”他老婆說(shuō)：“后來(lái)你到哪兒去了?”
登山人癱在在椅子上說(shuō)：“往回走啊!”
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