初中英語(yǔ)笑話
笑話是日常生活中人們消遣娛樂(lè)的一種常見(jiàn)語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象,其目的在于在會(huì)話過(guò)程中傳遞和激發(fā)幽默感。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編分享初中經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話，希望可以幫助大家!
初中經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話：Five Hundred Times 五百遍
In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."
在中西部一個(gè)大城市的交通法庭里，一位年輕女士被帶到法官面前，她由于開(kāi)車闖紅燈被開(kāi)了罰單。女士向法官解釋，她是一名學(xué)校老師，請(qǐng)求法官馬上處理她的案子，以便可以趕回去上課。法官眼中閃過(guò)一絲狡黠，說(shuō)道：“你是學(xué)校的老師，對(duì)嗎?女士，我馬上要實(shí)現(xiàn)我畢生的愿望了。在那張桌子旁坐下，寫(xiě)‘我開(kāi)車闖了紅燈’500遍。”
初中經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話：好消息&壞消息!
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display. "I've got good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings."
"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What's the bad news?". With concern, the gallery owner replied, "The guy was your doctor."
一名藝術(shù)家問(wèn)畫(huà)廊老板，最近有沒(méi)有人對(duì)他展出的畫(huà)感興趣。“這有好消息和壞消息，”老板回答。“好消息是有一位先生咨詢你的作品，他想知道在你死后你的畫(huà)會(huì)不會(huì)升值。我告訴他你的畫(huà)會(huì)升值，他就把你的15幅畫(huà)全都買走了。”
“真是太好了”，藝術(shù)家是喜形于色，“那壞消息是什么?”帶著關(guān)心的口吻，畫(huà)廊老板回答，“買畫(huà)的人是你的醫(yī)生”。
初中經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話：I hung him up to dry 我把他吊起來(lái)讓他晾干
Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking by the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately reviewed her file and called her into his office. "Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom，he's dead."
Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I hung him up to dry."
Jim和Mary都是精神病院里的病人。一天，他們沿著醫(yī)院的游泳池散步，Jim突然跳入泳池的深水區(qū)，他沉到了底部。Mary立刻跳下去救他，她潛到水底，把Jim拉了上來(lái)。
當(dāng)院長(zhǎng)聽(tīng)聞了Mary的英勇行為后，他立刻翻看了她的病歷檔案,把她叫進(jìn)了自己的辦公室，“Mary，我有一個(gè)好消息和一個(gè)壞消息要告訴你。好消息是你能跳入水中救其他病人，這說(shuō)明你的意識(shí)已經(jīng)恢復(fù)了，你可以出院了。壞消息就是，Jim，你救的那個(gè)病人，他還是用自己的浴袍帶子在浴室上吊自殺了。”
Mary說(shuō)：“他沒(méi)有自殺，是我把他吊起來(lái)好讓他晾干。”
初中經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話：No Problem 沒(méi)問(wèn)題
A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop. "How can I help you?" asked the stylist. "I went for a hair transplant," the guy explained, "but I couldn't stand the pain. If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I'll pay you ,000."
"No problem," said the stylist, and he quickly shaved his head.
一個(gè)禿頭的男人坐在理發(fā)店里。發(fā)型師問(wèn)：“有什么可以幫你嗎?”那個(gè)人解釋說(shuō)：“我本來(lái)要去做頭發(fā)移植，但實(shí)在太疼了。如果你能夠讓我的頭發(fā)看起來(lái)像你的一樣，而且沒(méi)有任何痛苦，我將付給你5000美元。”
“沒(méi)問(wèn)題，”發(fā)型師說(shuō)，然后他很快幫自己剃了個(gè)光頭。
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