英語笑話短文帶翻譯大全
冷笑話是一種新興的語言現(xiàn)象,也是一種出現(xiàn)在我們身邊的不可忽視的新的語言現(xiàn)象。冷笑話不同于一般笑話,它以其獨特的制笑機制,能瞬間創(chuàng)造出一種特殊的氛圍。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編分享英語笑話短文帶翻譯，希望可以幫助大家!
英語笑話短文帶翻譯：I didn't do it 我什么也沒做
One day a man came home from work to find total chaos in the house. The kids were laying outside in the mud, still in their pajamas.
When he opened the door, he found an even bigger mess: dishes on the counter, dog food spilled on the floor, a broken glass under the table and a pile of sand by the back door. The family room was strewn with toys, and a lamp had been knocked over.
He headed up the stairs, stepping over toys, to look for his wife. He was becoming worried that she might be ill or that something terrible had happened to her.
He found her in the bedroom still in bed with her pajamas on, reading a magazine.
She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day had gone.
He looked at her, bewildered(困惑的), and asked, "What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know, every day, you come home from work and ask me what I did today."
"Yes," was his reply.
She answered, "Well, today, I didn't do it!"
一天，一個人下班回到家，發(fā)現(xiàn)屋子外面一片狼籍。孩子們還穿著睡衣，滿身是泥地躺在外面。
打開房門，他發(fā)現(xiàn)屋子里面更亂。櫥柜上堆著盤子，地上散落著狗食，桌子下面有一只打碎的玻璃杯，后門旁還有一堆沙子。家庭娛樂室里堆滿了玩具，還有一盞燈翻倒在地上。
他邁過散落在樓梯上的玩具，上樓去找他的妻子。他開始擔(dān)心她生病了或是發(fā)生了什么可怕的事情。
他發(fā)現(xiàn)她還穿著睡衣躺在床上，在看一本雜志。
她抬頭看到他，笑著問他今天過得怎么樣。
他看著她，困惑地問：“今天發(fā)生什么事情了?”
她笑著問道：“你每天下班回家都會問我今天做什么了。”
“沒錯啊，”他說。
她說：“是這樣的，今天，我沒做什么!”
英語笑話短文帶翻譯：You forget again 你又忘了
An 80-year-old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.
After checking the couple out, the doctor told them they were physically okay but might want to start writing all the things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left .
Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "where are you going?" he replied, "To the kitchen." she asked, "Will you get a bowl of ice cream?" He replied, "Sure." She then asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" He said "No, I can remember that." She then said, "Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down because I know you'll forget that." He said, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." She replied, "Well, I also would like whip cream on top, I know you will forget that so you'd better write it down." Withirritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down, I can remember that," He thenfumed into the kitchen. After about 30 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said, "You forget my toast."
一對八十歲的老夫婦記性不好，于是決定到醫(yī)生那里檢查，擔(dān)心哪里有什么毛病。
醫(yī)生檢查完后告訴他們體檢正常，只是為了幫助記憶，他們可以把想做的事用筆記下來。老夫婦謝過醫(yī)生后就回家了。
晚上看著看著電視，老頭站起身來，老太太問：“你去哪兒啊?”老頭回答：“去廚房。”老太太接著問：“帶一盤冰激凌來，好嗎?”老頭說：“沒問題。”老太太說：“難道不用寫下來?這樣你就不會忘記了?”老頭說：“不用了，我記得住。”老太太又說：“那好，我還想在冰激凌上放點草莓。你最好記下來，我想你記不住的。”老頭回答：“忘不了，你要的是一盤草莓冰激凌。”老太太還說：“我還想在頂上再放點奶油，我知道你記不住，還是寫下來吧。”老頭有點兒煩了，說：“用不著寫，我能記住。”老頭氣憤地走進廚房。大概過了三十分鐘，老頭回來遞給老伴一盤熏肉和雞蛋。老太太盯著盤子看了一會兒說：“你忘了拿烤面包。”
英語笑話短文帶翻譯：He mead his own lunch 午飯是他自個做的
An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on the 30th floor of a building.
The Irishman opened his lunch box and said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
The blonde opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."
Next day the Irishman opens his lunch b box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Mexican opens his lunch, sees a burrito and jumps too, the blonde opens his lunch, sees the bologna and jumps to his death also.
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife is weeping, she says, "if I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again!" the Mexican's wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much." Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. "Hey, don't look at me," She said. "He made his own lunch."
一個愛爾蘭人，一個墨西哥人和一個金發(fā)男子在一棟樓房的第三十層施工。
愛爾蘭人打開飯盒說：“咸牛肉和卷心菜!下次午飯還吃咸牛肉和卷心菜，我就從這樓上跳下去。”
墨西哥人打開飯盒說：“又是玉米煎餅。下次如果還是玉米煎餅，我也跳下去。”
金發(fā)人打開飯盒說：“又是大臘腸。下次如果還是大臘腸三明治，我也跳下去。”
第二天，愛爾蘭人打開盒飯看到咸牛肉和卷心菜便跳樓死了。墨西哥人打開飯盒看到玉米煎餅也跳了樓，金發(fā)人打開飯盒看到大臘腸也跳樓自殺了。
葬禮上，愛爾蘭人的妻子在哭泣，她說：“如果我知道他如此討厭咸牛肉和卷心菜，我決不會再給他吃!”墨西哥人的妻子也在哭泣著說：“我會給他做玉米面豆卷和春卷!我沒有發(fā)現(xiàn)他是這么不喜歡吃玉米煎餅。”每個人都把目光轉(zhuǎn)向金發(fā)男子的妻子并盯著她看。“嘿，別看我，午飯是他自個做的。”她說。
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