關(guān)于初二下冊(cè)英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)
冷笑話(huà)是近幾年出現(xiàn)的一個(gè)新詞,也是一種出現(xiàn)在我們身邊的不可忽視的新的語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象,它具有強(qiáng)大的生命力,一時(shí)間大紅大紫,廣泛流行于互聯(lián)網(wǎng)、論壇、博客、電子郵件、電視綜藝節(jié)目、喜劇電影、書(shū)籍、雜志等媒體中。小編精心收集了關(guān)于初二下冊(cè)英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
關(guān)于初二下冊(cè)英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)：Boy, Oh Boy
When they're together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. "All right, you two," I said sternly. "No screaming , grabbing,whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."
As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, "C'mon, Steven, let's get dirty . "
關(guān)于初二下冊(cè)英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)：Wilberforce(威爾伯佛斯)
Wilberforce stood for Parliament on one occasion， and hissister helped him with his election campaign. The Bribery andCorruption Acts had not been framed in those days ; consequently， the sister offered to give a new dress to the wife of every man who voted for her brother. This offer pleased the voters immensely， and at one meeting there went up a cry of“Miss Wilberforce for ever!”The lady in question rosequickly from her chair on the platform and said：
“Oh，please，don't. I have no wish to be Miss Wilhberforce for ever .”
有一次，威爾伯佛斯做國(guó)會(huì)議員候選人，他的妹妹幫助 他搞競(jìng)選運(yùn)動(dòng)。那時(shí)候，行賄和腐敗法案尚未擬定;因此，這位妹妹提出愿意送一件新衣服給每一個(gè)投她哥哥票的男人的妻子。這項(xiàng)提議使選民們極為滿(mǎn)意。在一次集會(huì)上，人們高呼：“威爾伯佛斯小姐萬(wàn)歲!”該女士迅速?gòu)闹v臺(tái)上她的坐椅 上站起來(lái)，說(shuō)：
“噢，請(qǐng)別這么說(shuō)。我可不想永遠(yuǎn)做威爾伯佛斯小姐。”
關(guān)于初二下冊(cè)英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)：Hogarth(霍迦斯)
The great painter was asked，one day to paint a picture of“Pharaoh crossing the Red Sea”.A little while after the picture had been commenced，a hitch arose over the fee，and Hogarth found that he would have to complete the commission for about half the sum he expected. When the work was com pleted， the patron was asked to come and inspect it.As a matter of fact，the picture was just one daub of brilliant red.
“What's this?” exclaimed the purchaser.I asked for theRed Sea， on the occasion of thecelebrated passage.”
“That's it，”replied Hogarth.
“But，where are the Israelites?”
“They are all gone over.”
“Where are the Egyptians?”
“They're all drowned.”
一天，有人請(qǐng)這位偉大的畫(huà)家畫(huà)一幅“法老王渡紅海”圖。這幅畫(huà)剛開(kāi)始不久，酬金就出現(xiàn)了問(wèn)題?；舻纤拱l(fā)現(xiàn)，完成這幅畫(huà)后，他只能得到他想要的大約一半的錢(qián)。當(dāng)作品完成之后，那位主顧被請(qǐng)來(lái)看畫(huà)。其實(shí)，這幅畫(huà)不過(guò)是胡亂涂抹的一片鮮紅。
“這是什么?”那位買(mǎi)主喊了起來(lái)。“我要的是紅海，是那次著名的航海。”
“這就是，”霍迦斯回答說(shuō)。
“可是以色列人在哪兒?”
“他們都已經(jīng)渡過(guò)去了。”
“埃及人在哪兒?”
“他們?nèi)佳退懒恕?rdquo;
關(guān)于初二下冊(cè)英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)：I Can't Let Him Get Away
A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away .So they got married immediately.
The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. "What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married."
"Oh, honey, " he replied, "I can't drink that much every day.
關(guān)于初二下冊(cè)英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)：Hasty Interruption
The fine-furniture store where I work has been in business since the 1920s.Recently I received a call from a woman who wanted to replace some chairs from a dining set purchased from us in the 1930s.I assured her we could help and sought the assistance of the office manager. "You'll never believe this one, " I told him." I just got a call from a customer who bought some chairs from us in the 1930s. "
Before I could finish repeating her request, he interrupted and said, "Don't tell me she hasn't received them yet!"
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