有關(guān)好笑的英語笑話大全
笑話作為一種城市化的民間口頭創(chuàng)作體裁,是一種重要的交際手段。在俄羅斯文化中,笑話一直都具有無法替代的特殊意義。本文是有關(guān)好笑的英語笑話，希望對(duì)大家有幫助!
有關(guān)好笑的英語笑話：The Inventor
This man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs. He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle."
"OK," says the clerk. "What do you call it?"
"A fottle, replies the inventor."
"A fottle? That's a stupid! Can't you think of something else?"
"I can think about it. I've got something else though. It's a folding carton."
"And what do you call that?" asks the clerk.
"A farton", replies the inventor.
"That's rude. You can't possibly call it that!"
"In that case," says the inventor, "you're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket."
有關(guān)好笑的英語笑話：Computer Song
Computer Song To be sung with the theme from the Beverly Hillbillys:
Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Ted, A poor college kid, barely kept his family fed. But then one day he was talking to a recruiter who said, "they'll pay big bucks if ya work on a computer"..
UNIX, that is....Windows 95....Workstations...C++...VB
Well, the first thing ya know ol' Ted's an engineer. The kinfolk said "Ted, move away from here". They said "Arizona is the place you oughta be" so he bought some donuts and he moved to Ahwatukee...
Intel, that is....dry heat... no amusement parks.....
On his first day at work, they stuck him in a cube. Fed him lots of donuts and sat him at a tube. They said "your project's late, but we know just what to do Instead of 40 hours, we'll work you 52!"
OT, that is ...unpaid...mandatory.....
The weeks rolled by and things were looking bad. Schedules started slipping and some managers were mad. They called another meeting and decided on a fix. the answer's very simple..."we'll work him sixty-six!"
Tired, that is.. stressed out.. no social life....
Months turned into years and his hair was turning gray. Ted worked very hard while his life just slipped away Waiting to retire when he turned 64, instead he got a call and escorted out the door.
Laid off, that is...de-briefed...unemployed.
Now the moral of the story is, do what you are told companies will use you and discard you when you're old So gather up your friends and start your own firm, Beat the competition, watch old bosses squirm.
Millionaires that is.....Bill Gates...Steve Jobs...
Ya'll come back now, ya hear.
There! Now get back to work!
有關(guān)好笑的英語笑話：Anniversary
John asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. "Would you like a new Mink Coat?" he asks.
"Not really," says Mary.
"Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?" says John.
"No," she responds.
"What about a new vacation home in the country?" he suggests.
She again rejects his offer with a, "No thanks."
Frustrated he finally asks, "Well what would you like for your anniversary?"
"John, I'd like a divorce," answers Mary.
John thinks for a moment and replies "Sorry dear, I wasn't planning to spend that much."
有關(guān)好笑的英語笑話：TGIF
There was a young lady who was totally exhausted from a week's worth of work. Finally, it was time for her to end her work day and go home.
As she entered the elevator, she sighed a triumphant, "T-G-I-F...," and began to relishthe thought of going home and relaxing the weekend away.
It so happened that there was a man on the elevator with her and heard her jubilantexclamation.
His reply to her was, "S-H-I-T."
Now the woman was not sure if she heard the man correctly and she was determined not to let this man ruin her beautiful weekend she had ahead of her, so again she stated more strongly, "T-G-I-F!" and glared at the man, daring him to repeat his obscenity.
The man made eye contact and stated matter-of-factly, "S-H-I-T."
This infuriated the young woman, so with hands on her hips she stated, "How dare you useprofane language like that in front of a lady! I was saying, T-G-I-F...'Thank Goodness it's Friday'. What is wrong with you!?"
The man was amused at her outrage and with a smirk on his face replied,
"S-H-I-T. 'Sorry, Honey... it's THURSDAY!"
And with that walked off the elevator with a spunky step.
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