簡(jiǎn)單的小學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話閱讀
簡(jiǎn)單的小學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話閱讀
前蘇聯(lián)著名作家高爾基說(shuō)過(guò),“哪里有人,哪里就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調(diào)劑品”。本文是簡(jiǎn)單的小學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話，希望對(duì)大家有幫助!
簡(jiǎn)單的小學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話：A tasty meal 一頓美餐
A tourist in Africa sent his mother an exotic bird for her birthday. When he got back to the States, he called her. "Hi, Mom," he said. "How'd you like the bird I gave you?"
"It was delicious."
"You ate the bird!" the guy shrieked. "He was very expensive. He could talk!"
"Well, if he was so smart," replied the mother, "Why didn't he say something?"
一位在非洲旅行的旅客送給了他母親一只奇特動(dòng)人的鳥作為生日禮物。他回到美國(guó)后，打電話問(wèn)道：“媽，你好。你喜歡我送您的那只鳥嗎?”
“太好吃了!”
“您把它吃了?”小伙子驚叫了起來(lái)。“那只鳥可貴了，它還會(huì)說(shuō)話呢?”
“噢，如果它照你說(shuō)的那么聰明的話，他為什么沒(méi)告訴我呀?”母親回答說(shuō)。
簡(jiǎn)單的小學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話：I've sold those to someone else
A large store was having the spring sale on shoes and boots. It was the first day of the sale, and the shoe department was full of women who were eagerly trying to buy them. There were all kinds of shoes and boots in a variety of colors, and the prices had been reduced a lot, because the store wanted to get rid of as many as possible in order to make room for their new stock.
The cashiers were kept busy, and at one moment a woman came to one of them with her money in her hand and said, "I don't need a bag, thank you. I'm wearing the shoes I bought." She pointed to them on her feet.
"Would you like a bag to put your old shoes in then?" the cashier asked politely as she took the woman's money.
"No, thank you," the woman answered quickly, "I've sold those to someone else."
一家大商店正在進(jìn)行鞋子和長(zhǎng)筒靴的春季大銷售。這是大銷售的第一天，因此售鞋部擠滿了急切想購(gòu)買鞋子和長(zhǎng)筒靴的女人們。鞋子和長(zhǎng)筒靴的種類很多，顏色各異，而且價(jià)格大降，因?yàn)樯痰晗氚驯M可能多的鞋子和長(zhǎng)筒靴賣掉，為了給新近貨物騰出地方來(lái)。
收銀員們一直都很忙，而在某一個(gè)時(shí)刻，一位婦女手里拿著錢來(lái)到一位收銀員面前說(shuō)道，“我不需要袋子，謝謝你。我正穿著我買的鞋。”她指著她腳上的鞋子。
“ 那么你不需要一個(gè)袋子裝你的舊鞋子嗎?”當(dāng)她接過(guò)那婦女的錢時(shí)，收銀員很有禮貌地說(shuō)道。
“不需要，謝謝你，” 那婦女很快地回答說(shuō)，“ 我剛把舊鞋賣給別的人了。”
簡(jiǎn)單的小學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話：Love at the front door 前門的愛(ài)
I was hospitalized for a few days, and my wife reported that my dog really missed me. "She spends the night at the front door, awaiting your return," she said. "What an example of true love," I replied. "I wonder if you'd be that concerned a about me?" "Honey," my wife answered, "If you were gone overnight, and I didn't know where you were, you can be sure I'd be waiting for you at the front door."
我住了幾天醫(yī)院。妻子告訴我，我的狗非常想我。 “它總是在前門旁過(guò)夜，等待你的歸來(lái)。”妻子說(shuō)。 “這的確是一個(gè)至愛(ài)的例子，”我說(shuō)：“我真不知你是否也像狗一樣關(guān)心我呢?” “親愛(ài)的，如果你一夜未歸，我卻不知你的去處，我一定會(huì)在前門等你的。”妻子立刻回答。
簡(jiǎn)單的小學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話：Serious Swimming
There was a competition to swim from Santa Monica to Catalina doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde.
After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest breaststroker.
About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled on shore and was declared the second place finisher.
Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsedin front of the worried onlookers. When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied,
"I don't want to sound like a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms."
簡(jiǎn)單的小學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話：Dummy vs Dummy
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.
A blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuatediscrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!"
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little idiot on your knee."
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