關于簡短的英語冷笑話
關于簡短的英語冷笑話
笑話是內容豐富并具有出乎意料結尾的幽默口頭故事。笑話幾乎涵蓋人們生活的所有領域,其中包括政治笑話、經(jīng)濟笑話、家庭生活笑話、關于民族性格的笑話等。小編精心收集了關于簡短的英語冷笑話，供大家欣賞學習!
關于簡短的英語冷笑話：Physical Exam
A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. He immediately tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh.
As he does this he says to the woman, "Do you know what I'm doing?"
"Yes," she says, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities."
"That is correct," says the doctor. He then begins to fondle her breasts.
"Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asks.
"Yes," says the woman, "you're checking for any lumps or breast cancer."
"That's right," replies the doctor. He then begins to have sexual intercourse with the woman. He says to her, "Do you know what I'm doing now?"
"Yes," she says. "You're getting herpes, which is why I came here in the first place."
關于簡短的英語冷笑話：Not You're Normal Family
A mother heard a hum coming from her daughter's bedroom. She opened the door to find her daughter lying naked on her bed, enjoying a vibrator.
"What are you doing?"
The daughter replied, "Mom, I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents. This is as close as I can get to a husband!"
A few days later the father heard a hum coming from the basement. He went downstairs and found his daughter lying naked on the sofa, again enjoying her friend, the vibrator.
"What are you doing?"
She replied, "Dad, I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents. This is as close as I can get to a husband!"
A few days later the mother again heard the hum, this time coming from the living room. She found her husband watching TV with the vibrator buzzing away beside him.
"What are you doing?"
He replied, "Watching the game with my son-in-law!"
關于簡短的英語冷笑話：The Koala Bear Defined
A koala bear was approached by a prostitute. Since he had never been with one before, he was curious and excited. They spent the night together in a hotel, and he went down on her the next morning one last time before departing.
As he was heading for the door, the prostitute yelled, "Hey, what about my money?" The koala turned, gave her a puzzled look and shrugged his shoulders.
She said, "Come here", and pulled a dictionary out of her purse. She pointed to the word "prostitute" and its definition, "Has sex and gets paid."
Finally understanding, the koala borrowed her dictionary, turned to the word "koala" and showed her, "Eats bush and leaves."
關于簡短的英語冷笑話：The Dial
A woman went to her plastic surgeon to discuss her frown lines. The surgeon brought out a dial.
"If you see any wrinkles, just twist this dial and it will stretch your skin."
The woman tried the dial and it was working great! But after three years with the dial, she had to see the surgeon again.
"Doctor, I don't know what's wrong; I keep twisting the dial but I just can't get these bags out from under my eyes."
The Doctor said ", I'm sorry but, those aren't bags under your eyes, those are your breasts."
"Oh," she said. "That would explain the goatee."
關于簡短的英語冷笑話：Sweetheart Present
A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note : romantic, but not too personal.
Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Nordstorm and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the note :
"I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears short ones that are easier to remove.These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again.
When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night. All my Love"
"PS The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing."
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