關(guān)于1分鐘英文小笑話精選
關(guān)于1分鐘英文小笑話精選
在大家情緒低落的時(shí)候講一個(gè)笑話,可以讓大家笑得心中的怨氣都煙消云散了。小編精心收集了關(guān)于1分鐘英文小笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
關(guān)于1分鐘英文小笑話：簡(jiǎn)單的稅率
MAN: Who could that be? "KNOCK KNOCK"
MAN: KOYER THE LAWYER!What brings you here?
LAWYER:A public service.I bring important news form the king regarding taxes.
LAWYER:"Due to popular demand the tax structure will be greatly simplified...Henceforth,one basic tax rate will be charged to everyone!"
MAN: May we ask what the rate will be?
LAWYER:100%
MAN: What could be simpler than that?
man:會(huì)是誰(shuí)來(lái)了? "砰 砰"
man:是柯耶律師!什么風(fēng)把你吹來(lái)的?
律師:我為公事而來(lái).我從國(guó)王那里帶來(lái)有關(guān)納稅的重要消息.
律師:"由于民眾的請(qǐng)求,賦稅結(jié)構(gòu)將大為簡(jiǎn)化...從現(xiàn)在開(kāi)始,每個(gè)人都負(fù)擔(dān)統(tǒng)一的基本稅率!"
man:可以請(qǐng)教稅率會(huì)變成多少么?
律師:100%
man:還有比那更簡(jiǎn)單的么?
關(guān)于1分鐘英文小笑話：son-in-law
A 60 year old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her bedroom. She opened the door and discovered her 40 year old daughter playing with a vibrator. "What are you doing?" asked the mother.
"Mom, I'm 40 years old, and look at me. I'm ugly. I'll never get married so this is pretty much my husband." The mother walked out of the room shaking her head.
The next day, the father came home and heard noises in the bedroom. Upon entering the room, he found his daughter using the vibrator.
"What the hell are you doing he asked.
His daughter replied, "I already told mom. I'm 40 years old now and I'm ugly. I will never get married so this is as close as I'll ever get to a husband." The father walked out of the room shaking his head.
The next day, the mother came home and found her husband with a beer in one hand and the vibrator in the other watching the football game on
TV. "What on Earth are you doing?" she cried.
The husband replied, "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm having a beer and watching the football game with my son-in-law!!"
關(guān)于1分鐘英文小笑話：you're not going to make it 你活不成了
Gravely ill, a man went to the doctor with his wife. After the examination the physician motioned for the wife to meet him in the hallway.
一個(gè)人得了重病，妻子伴隨他去看醫(yī)生。檢查過(guò)后，醫(yī)生示意病人的妻子到走廊見(jiàn)他。
"Your husband is very sick, " the doctor said, "but there are three things you can do to ensure his survival. First, fix him three healthful, delicious meals a day. Next, give him a stress-free environment , and don't complain about anything. Finally, make passionate love to him every day.
“你丈夫病得很重，”醫(yī)生說(shuō)，“但有三件事可保住他的性命。第一，一日三餐，要營(yíng)養(yǎng)美味。第二，給他一個(gè)輕松的環(huán)境，不要抱怨。第三，每天都對(duì)他傾注熾熱的愛(ài)。”
On the drive home the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"
在驅(qū)車(chē)回家的路上，丈夫問(wèn)道：“醫(yī)生說(shuō)了什么?”
"I'm sorry, " she said, "but you're not going to make it.
“很遺憾，”她說(shuō)，“你活不成了。”
關(guān)于1分鐘英文小笑話：Who Should be Given the Present? 禮物該給誰(shuí)?
A father of five came home with a toy, summoned his children and asked which one of them should be given the present, “Who is the most obedient, never talks back to mother and does everything he or she is told?” he inquired. There was silence and then a chorus of voices: “You play with it, Daddy!”
一個(gè)有五個(gè)孩子的父親帶著一件玩具回到家里，把孩子們召集來(lái)問(wèn)這件禮物應(yīng)該給誰(shuí)。“誰(shuí)最聽(tīng)話，從不和媽媽頂嘴，讓干什么就干什么?”他問(wèn)道。
大家都不吭聲。過(guò)了一會(huì)兒，孩子們異口同聲地說(shuō)：“爸爸，您玩兒吧。”
關(guān)于1分鐘英文小笑話：The Clock
Hillary Clinton died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
She asked, "What are all those clocks?"???
St Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said Hillary, "who's clock is that?"
"That's Mother Theresa's. The hands have never moved indicating that she never told a lie."
"Who's clock is that?" "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice telling us that Abe only told 2 lies in his entire life."
"Where is Bill's clock?" Hillary asked.
"Bill's clock is in Jesus' office. He is using it as a ceiling fan."
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