關(guān)于每日英語(yǔ)笑話閱讀
關(guān)于每日英語(yǔ)笑話閱讀
前蘇聯(lián)著名作家高爾基說(shuō)過(guò),“哪里有人,哪里就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調(diào)劑品”。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理了關(guān)于每日英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎閱讀!
關(guān)于每日英語(yǔ)笑話篇一
人就是這樣
A Jew opens a kosher restaurant in London and puts a notice in the window:"ARABS NOT WELCOME"; a couple of days later, a person of obviously Arab origin walks in and requests a sandwich-so the cashier quickly runs into the office asking what to do. The owner decides that he really doesn’t want a scandal，so he orders，"OK，give him the sandwich, but charge him double--that should teach him."
一個(gè)猶太人在倫敦開(kāi)了一家猶太教餐館，在餐館的窗戶上寫(xiě)著:“阿拉伯人不許入內(nèi)”的字樣。過(guò)了幾天，一個(gè)特征鮮明的阿拉伯人走進(jìn)餐館想要一個(gè)三明治。收銀員馬上跑到辦公室問(wèn)該怎么辦。餐館老板不想惹事生非，于是就說(shuō)，“好吧，賣他一個(gè)三明治，但是要收他兩倍錢，這樣就能給他一個(gè)教訓(xùn)了。”
But the next day the same Arab is back again一this time for a full lunch; the owner decides" Charge him triple，he’11 get the lesson this time!” The Arab eats his lunch, pays without a quibble, praises the food and even asks for a reservation for 10 of his friends for the same evening. The owner decides`OK,1et him have the reservation, but if his friends do come，charge them tenfold!” The Arabs appear in the evening, have a large dinner, pay without complaining and even tip generously. So the next day the owner puts a new sign in the window: "JEWS NOT WELCOME."
但是第二天，那個(gè)阿拉伯人又來(lái)了，這回他要了一整套午餐。老板決定收他三倍的錢，這樣他就知道厲害了!那個(gè)阿拉伯人吃過(guò)午餐后通通快快的付了錢，還稱贊食物非常好吃，甚至預(yù)定了當(dāng)天晚上十個(gè)人的晚餐。老板想了想說(shuō):“沒(méi)問(wèn)題，就讓他預(yù)定，但是等他的朋友來(lái)了就收他們十倍的錢!”等到晚上，那些阿拉伯人真的來(lái)了，點(diǎn)了好多菜，毫無(wú)怨言地付了十倍的錢，而且還大方地給了不少小費(fèi)。于是第三天，老板在窗戶上寫(xiě)了一行新字:“猶太人不許人內(nèi)”。
關(guān)于每日英語(yǔ)笑話篇二
陪審團(tuán)主席
A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk--driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence，demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p. m. and getting a jury would take time，so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury.
一位小城市的法官正在處理一個(gè)酒后駕車的案件。被告曾經(jīng)有過(guò)酒后駕車的記錄，現(xiàn)在需要一個(gè)陪審團(tuán)做出裁決。那時(shí)已經(jīng)是下午四點(diǎn)，找個(gè)陪審團(tuán)來(lái)會(huì)浪費(fèi)很多時(shí)間。所以，法官就宣布休庭，然后就去隨便找些人來(lái)充當(dāng)陪審團(tuán)。他正好發(fā)現(xiàn)在大廳里有十二個(gè)律師，就把他們叫來(lái)組成了陪審團(tuán)。
The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendant was guilty. The jury went into the jury--room, the judge started getting ready to go home , and everyone waited.
這些律師們認(rèn)為能做陪審團(tuán)將會(huì)是個(gè)新奇的經(jīng)歷，所以就同意和那個(gè)法官回到了法庭。審訊十分鐘就結(jié)束了，因?yàn)楹苊黠@被告是有罪的。接著，陪審團(tuán)進(jìn)行商議，法官做好了回家的準(zhǔn)備，每個(gè)人都在等待著最后的結(jié)果。
After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff in to the jury--room to see what was holding up the verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said，"Well have they got a verdict yet?
差不多三個(gè)小時(shí)以后，法官已經(jīng)等不及了，他派法警去看看陪審團(tuán)是否做出了最后的判決。當(dāng)法警回來(lái)的時(shí)候，法官問(wèn)他:“怎么樣?他們做出了最后的判決沒(méi)有?”
The bailiff shook his head and said，"Verdict? Hell，they' re still doing nominating speeches for the foreman’s position!”
法警搖搖頭說(shuō):“判決?天哪，他們還在進(jìn)行推選陪審團(tuán)主席的演講呢!”
關(guān)于每日英語(yǔ)笑話篇三
KQED radio announced a few days ago that due to lack of funding, it was canceling its Perspectives commentaries. Next morning, Doug Edwards was checking the call in tape for listener reaction and came across this from a woman on her car phone: "MY name is Julia. Longtime listener. I’m very upset that you're canceling Perspectives and I' m considering canceling my support. Please reinstate…” followed by the sound of squealing brakes, a crash, shattering glass, and Julia yelling "Oh s…，you've made me so mad I just rear一ended the car in front of me. Have to go now.” Click. Poor Julia. Funds were restored，and Perspectives is back on the air.
KQED電臺(tái)在幾天前宣布，由于資金緊張，他們將刷掉一個(gè)叫做《觀察評(píng)論》的節(jié)目。第二天一大早，唐·愛(ài)得華茲從專門記錄聽(tīng)眾反饋意見(jiàn)的電話錄音中聽(tīng)到了一位婦女的留言:“我叫朱莉婭，一個(gè)老聽(tīng)眾了，聽(tīng)說(shuō)你們要取消《觀察評(píng)論》這個(gè)欄目，我感到非常氣憤!我要考慮收回我的資助，除非你們能恢復(fù)……”緊接著是一聲急促的剎車聲，然后是撞擊聲和玻璃粉碎的聲音，并且伴隨著朱莉婭的尖叫聲:“天那，你們簡(jiǎn)直快讓我發(fā)瘋了，剛才我和前面的一輛車追尾了，我掛電話了。”接著便是掛上電話后的滴答聲?？蓱z的朱莉婭，其實(shí)資金已經(jīng)重新運(yùn)轉(zhuǎn)了，《觀察評(píng)論》這檔節(jié)目也重新開(kāi)播了。
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