經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話短笑話
冷笑話是近幾年新興的一種語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象,它輕松詼諧、別具一格,給我們緊張的生活增添了幾分輕松的情趣,它一出現(xiàn)便受到了大多數(shù)人的喜愛(ài)。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理了經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話短笑話，歡迎閱讀!
經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話短笑話篇一
Napoleon Was Ill
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.
"He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well."
"No, no, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!"
"Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."
拿破侖病了
杰克到一所大學(xué)去學(xué)歷史。第一學(xué)期結(jié)束時(shí)，歷史課教授沒(méi)讓他及格。學(xué)校讓他退學(xué)。然而，杰克的父親決定去見(jiàn)教授，強(qiáng)烈要求讓杰克繼續(xù)來(lái)年的學(xué)業(yè)。
“他是個(gè)好孩子，”杰克的父親說(shuō)：“您要是讓他這次及格，我相信他明年會(huì)有很大進(jìn)步，學(xué)期結(jié)束時(shí)，他一定會(huì)考好的。”
“不，不，那不可能，”教授馬上回答。“你知道嗎?上個(gè)月我問(wèn)他拿破侖什么時(shí)候死的，他都不知道。”
“先生，請(qǐng)?jiān)俳o他一次機(jī)會(huì)吧。”杰克的父親說(shuō)：“你不知道，恐怕是因?yàn)槲覀兗覜](méi)有訂報(bào)紙。我們家的人連拿破侖病了都不知道。”
經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話短笑話篇二
He Was Only Wrong by Two
Jack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren‘t always smart enought to be accepted by the college.
One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I‘d better ask him a few questions first."
Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn‘t know any of the answers.
At last the dean said, "Well, what‘s five times seven?"
The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."
The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."
他的得數(shù)只比正確答案多二
杰克霍金斯是美國(guó)一所學(xué)院的橄欖球隊(duì)教練，他竭力想物色好球員。但是好球員學(xué)業(yè)不行，院方不愿錄取。
有一天，教練帶著一位優(yōu)秀的年輕球員去見(jiàn)院長(zhǎng)，希望院方同意他免試入學(xué)。經(jīng)過(guò)一番勸說(shuō)后院長(zhǎng)說(shuō)：“那我最好先問(wèn)問(wèn)他幾個(gè)問(wèn)題。”
然后他轉(zhuǎn)向?qū)W生，問(wèn)了幾個(gè)非常簡(jiǎn)單的問(wèn)題。可是那個(gè)學(xué)生一個(gè)也答不上來(lái)。
最后院長(zhǎng)說(shuō)：“那么，五乘七得多少?”
學(xué)生想了很久，然后回答說(shuō)：“三十六。”
院長(zhǎng)攤開雙手失望地看了看教練?？墒墙叹氄J(rèn)真地說(shuō)，“噢，錄取他吧，先生。他的答案只比正確答案多二。”
經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話短笑話篇三
Best Reward
A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him.
"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I‘d pulled you out, they‘d chuck me in."
最好的獎(jiǎng)賞
一名海軍軍官?gòu)募装迳系羧牒Ｖ小Ｋ灰幻装逅志绕?。這位軍官問(wèn)如何才能酬謝他。
“最好的辦法，長(zhǎng)官，”這名水手說(shuō)，“是別聲張這事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他們會(huì)把我扔下去的。”
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