比較爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話閱讀
比較爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話閱讀
近些年,冷笑話作為一種特殊的幽默方式在互聯(lián)網(wǎng)、電視節(jié)目、書籍雜志上廣泛流傳。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理了比較爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎閱讀!
比較爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話篇一
小心有狗
As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner. "Yep, that's him," came the reply. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!"
一名陌生人走進(jìn)一家鄉(xiāng)間小商店，看到玻璃門上帖著的一個(gè)告示牌上寫著，“危險(xiǎn)! 小心有狗!” 進(jìn)去后，他看到一條樣子一點(diǎn)都不兇的老狗趴在收款機(jī)旁邊的地板上睡覺(jué)。 “這就是大伙都得留神的那只狗啊?” 陌生人問(wèn)店主。“是，就是他”，店主回答。 聽(tīng)到這個(gè)回答， 陌生人覺(jué)得很好笑。“我覺(jué)得那條狗一點(diǎn)都不可怕。 你帖那個(gè)告示做什么?” “因?yàn)椋?rdquo; 店主解釋說(shuō)，“在我帖告示之前， 大伙老被他絆倒。”
比較爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話篇二
蘑菇與毒蕈
Younger Scout: How can I tell the difference between a mushroom and a toadstool?
年少的童子軍：我怎樣才能把蘑菇和毒蕈區(qū)別開(kāi)呢?
Older Scout: Just eat one before you go to bed. If you wake up the next morning, it was a mushroom.
年長(zhǎng)的童子軍：上床前吃一個(gè)。如果你第二天早上醒來(lái)，那就是蘑菇。
比較爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話篇三
Three men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an Accountant, the second man was a Chemist, the third was a Government Worker.
To show off, the Accountant called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 3 equal piles of 4 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good.
Then the two men turned to the Government Worker and said, "What can your cat do?" The Government Worker called to his cat and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, peed on the paper, assaulted the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
三個(gè)男人在吹噓他們的貓有多么聰明。第一個(gè)男人是個(gè)會(huì)計(jì)師，第二個(gè)男人是個(gè)化學(xué)家，第三個(gè)則是個(gè)公務(wù)員。
為了炫耀，會(huì)計(jì)師叫來(lái)他的貓，然后說(shuō)：“Spreadsheet，干你的活去。”Spreadsheet走進(jìn)了廚房，拿回來(lái)一打曲奇餅干，再分成3堆，每堆四塊。每個(gè)人都覺(jué)得干的很好。
但是化學(xué)家說(shuō)他的貓可以做的更好。他叫來(lái)他的貓然后說(shuō)：“Measure，干你的活去。”Measure起身，走到冰箱那去，拿出來(lái)一夸脫牛奶，再?gòu)臋还窭锬贸鲆粋€(gè)10盎司的玻璃杯，在里面準(zhǔn)確無(wú)誤地倒入了8盎司牛奶，一滴都沒(méi)撒。每個(gè)人都覺(jué)得干的很好。
這三個(gè)人對(duì)公務(wù)員說(shuō)，“你的貓可以干什么?”公務(wù)員叫來(lái)他的貓然后說(shuō)：“Coffee break，干你的活去。”Coffee Break跳到他的腳邊，吃掉了曲奇，喝掉了牛奶，這樣做的時(shí)候號(hào)稱背受傷了，然后寫了一份委屈的報(bào)告說(shuō)工作環(huán)境實(shí)在不安全，交給工會(huì)后，回家度過(guò)了剩下的一天。
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