爆笑的英文小笑話大全笑死人
爆笑的英文小笑話大全笑死人
笑話一般是短小精悍、句子結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊、運(yùn)用藝術(shù)手段造成巨大的夸張和想象,使矛盾發(fā)展到最尖銳的地步,然后突然得到意外的解決,從而生成強(qiáng)烈的喜劇效果。小編精心收集了爆笑的英文小笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
爆笑的英文小笑話篇1
騙子，騙子
A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband wasmissing.
老婆與隔壁鄰居到警察局報(bào)案 說(shuō)她的老公失蹤了。
The policeman asked her for a description.
警察要求，她形容一下。
She said,"He is 35 years old,6 feet 4 inches,has dark eyes,dark wavy hair,an athleticbuild,weighs 185 pounds,is soft-spoken ,and is good to the children."
她說(shuō)：“他三十五歲，六尺四寸，黑眼睛，波浪狀的深色頭發(fā);體格健壯，體重185磅，說(shuō)話很輕，而且對(duì)小孩子很好。”
The next-door neighbor protested,
隔壁鄰居期提出反駁說(shuō)：
"Your husband is 5 feet 4 inches,chubby,bald,has a big mouth,and is mean to your children."
“你老公五尺四寸，胖嘟嘟 的，禿頭，有一個(gè)太嘴巴，而且對(duì)你的小孩很刻薄。”
The wife replied,"Yes,but who wants"THIS KIND OF STUFF"back?"
老婆回答說(shuō)：“你說(shuō)對(duì)了，可是誰(shuí)會(huì)要 這種沒(méi)用的廢物 回來(lái)呀?”
爆笑的英文小笑話篇2
怕老婆的老公
A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself.
有一位怕老婆的老公接受心理治療師的建議要堅(jiān)持自己的主見(jiàn)。
"You don't have to let your wife bully you,"he said."Go home and show her you are the boss ."
他說(shuō)：“你不必讓你的老婆像惡霸一樣欺侮你。回家去讓她知道你才是老大。”
The husband decided to take the doctor's asvice.He went home,slammed the door,shook hisfirst in his wife's face,and growled,"
這位老公決定接受醫(yī)生的勸告。他回到家，用力啪答一聲關(guān)上門(mén)，在他老婆的面前：揮舞著拳頭，并且大聲咆哮說(shuō)：
From now on you are talking orders from me.
“從現(xiàn)在起，你得乖乖聽(tīng)我的命令。
I want my supper right now,and when you get it on the table ,go upstairs and lay out myclothes.
我現(xiàn)在就要吃晚餐，當(dāng)你把它弄好放在餐桌上的時(shí)候，到樓上去把我的衣服擺放好。
Tonight I am going out with my friends.
今天晚上我要和我的。朋友外出，
You are going to stay at home where you belong.
你給我乖乖待在家里不許亂跑。
Another thing,you know who is going to tie bow tie?"
另外還有一件事情，你知道誰(shuí)要替我打蝴蝶結(jié)領(lǐng)結(jié)嗎?”
I certainlydo,"screamed the wife."The Undertaker."
老婆尖叫著說(shuō):“我當(dāng)然知道。是收尸的人。”
爆笑的英文小笑話篇3
向你的煩惱說(shuō)再見(jiàn)
A Jew, an Indian and a black were lined up to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
一位猶太人、一位印第安人和一位黑人列隊(duì)進(jìn)入天國(guó)之門(mén)。
Said the Jew to St. Peter, 66 Frankly, I'm rather surprised to be here. All my life Christians havedespised and reviled me. "
那位猶太人對(duì)圣彼得說(shuō)：“坦白講，能到這里讓我蠻驚訝的，我一輩子一直都受到基督徒的輕視和侮辱。”
"That's a great sorrow to us,"said St. Peter, "but you won't find that kind of prejudice here.Here, all are truly equal.Just spell God and you may enter."
“我們實(shí)在感到非常遺憾，”圣彼得說(shuō)，“但我們這里沒(méi)有那樣的偏見(jiàn)，這里每個(gè)人都完全平等，只要拼出God這個(gè)詞你就能進(jìn)入天堂。”
the Jew truly spell out god and was swept through the gates.Next,the Indian came forward andsaid,"St.Peter,all my life I suffered from poverty and discrimination,and could only live in areservation.Will I truly be free here?"
那名猶太人正確地拼出God后，被招入門(mén)內(nèi)。接著印第安人走向前說(shuō)道“圣彼得，我一輩子飽受貧窮和種族歧視的打擊，而且只能住在居留地內(nèi)，我在這里能得到真正的自由嗎?”
"My son, your troubles are over.Just spell the word God you will be free as a bird. "
“小兄弟，你的煩惱已經(jīng)結(jié)束了，只要拼出God這個(gè)詞，你就能像小鳥(niǎo)一樣自由自在。”
The Indian obliged and he, too, entered the Heavenly Kingdom.
印第安人照著做，不久也被引入天堂。
Next,the black man strode forward."St. Peter," he said, "all my life people looked down on meand treated me unfairly.That won't happen here, will it?"
接著那名黑人跨步向前，“圣彼得，”他說(shuō)道，“一輩子人們都瞧不起我，不公平對(duì)待我，在這里那些事不會(huì)發(fā)生吧!”
"Of course not, my boy. We don't do that kind of thing here.Just spell" onomatopoeia "and theKingdom of Heaven is yours "
“當(dāng)然不會(huì)，我的弟兄，我們不會(huì)做那樣的事，只要拼出onomatopoeia這個(gè)詞，天堂之國(guó)就是你的了!”
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