英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話短篇的文章閱讀(2)
英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話短篇的文章閱讀
英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話篇六
酒后駕車(chē)
Late one night a police officer was patrolling a rowdybar to anticipate possible DUI violations.
一天深夜，一名警察去一個(gè)經(jīng)常有人鬧事的酒吧門(mén)口巡邏，為了避免有酒后駕車(chē)的情況發(fā)生。
At closing time, he saw a fellow tumble out of thebar, trip on the curb, and try his keys in five different cars before he found his.
酒吧打烊了，他看見(jiàn)一個(gè)家伙跌跌撞撞的跑出來(lái)，一下摔在路邊，隨后又用鑰匙試著開(kāi)了五輛車(chē)的門(mén)才找到他自己的車(chē)。
Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.
坐進(jìn)車(chē)?yán)?，好幾分鐘他又都是在摸著那些鑰匙。
Everyone else left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away.
這時(shí)人們都從酒吧出來(lái)并且開(kāi)車(chē)走了。最后他也發(fā)動(dòng)了車(chē)子準(zhǔn)備開(kāi)走，
The police officer was waiting for him and turned on his light and pulled the driver over, readhim his rights and administered the breathalyzer test.
警察已經(jīng)等這個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)很久了，他打開(kāi)燈，把司機(jī)從車(chē)?yán)锢鰜?lái)，給他宣讀了他所享有的法定權(quán)利，然后作了酒精的測(cè)試。
The test results showed a reading of 0.00.
測(cè)試的結(jié)果是零，
The puzzled officer demanded to know how could that be.
于是困惑的警察問(wèn)他是為什么，
The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy!"
司機(jī)說(shuō)：“今晚他們派我當(dāng)誘餌。”
英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話篇七
離事故有多遠(yuǎn)?
A carpenter was giving evidence about an accidenthe had witnessed.
一位木匠正在為他目擊的一起事故作證。
The judge asked him how far away he was from theaccident.
法官問(wèn)他當(dāng)時(shí)離事發(fā)現(xiàn)場(chǎng)有多遠(yuǎn)。
The carpenter replied "twenty seven feet, six-and-one-half- inches".
木匠回答，“27英尺，6.5英寸”。
"What? How come you are so sure of that distance?" asked the judge.
法官問(wèn)：“什么?你怎么能這樣確定?”
"Well, I knew some idiot would ask me. So I measured it!" replied the carpenter.
木匠回答，“是啊，我知道一定會(huì)有傻瓜問(wèn)我這個(gè)問(wèn)題，所以我事先測(cè)量了一下。”
英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話篇八
Do you pay taxes?
你納稅了嗎?
A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing withthe IRS Tax auditorwho had come to review hisrecords.
一個(gè)神色緊張的納稅人正悶悶不樂(lè)地和前來(lái)查帳的國(guó)稅局的稅務(wù)審計(jì)員交談。
At one point the auditor exclaimed,"Mr. Carelton, we feel it is a great privilegeto be allowed tolive and work in the USA.
審計(jì)員一度大聲地說(shuō)，“Carelton先生，我們認(rèn)為能在美國(guó)生活和工作是莫大的榮幸，
As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes,and we expect you to eagerly pay them with asmile"
而作為一個(gè)美國(guó)公民，您也有納稅的義務(wù)。我們希望您能無(wú)比樂(lè)意地帶著微笑來(lái)納稅。”
"Thank goodness"returned Mr. Carelton, with a giant grin on his face,"I thought you were goingto want me to pay with cash."
“謝天謝地”，Carelton先生咧著嘴大笑地回答，“我還以為你們是要我?guī)еX(qián)來(lái)交稅呢!”
英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話篇九
Car accident
交通事故
A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stopsign ...hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold.
有個(gè)人開(kāi)車(chē)行駛在上班的路上，一輛卡車(chē)闖紅燈從側(cè)面撞上了他的車(chē)，當(dāng)時(shí)他就不省人事了。
Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revivedhim.
路旁的行人把他從車(chē)?yán)锢鰜?lái)并喚醒他。
He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics.
剛一醒過(guò)來(lái)，他就拼命的掙扎著，最后不得不用了藥物才讓他鎮(zhèn)靜下來(lái)。
Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so.
過(guò)了一會(huì)兒，他平靜了，別人問(wèn)他為什么要這么恐怖的掙扎，
He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing.
他說(shuō)：“被撞之后我就什么都不知道了，
I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody wasstanding in front of the 'S.'
當(dāng)我醒過(guò)來(lái)，我發(fā)現(xiàn)我躺在了路邊，前面是一個(gè)巨大的廣告牌上面閃爍著‘殼牌’，但是有個(gè)人擋住了那個(gè)s。”
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