英語(yǔ)笑話是指以一句英文短語(yǔ)或一個(gè)英文故事讓說(shuō)話者和聽(tīng)者之間覺(jué)得好笑,或是產(chǎn)生幽默感,笑話是一種經(jīng)過(guò)藝術(shù)加工的語(yǔ)言形式,是藝術(shù)化的語(yǔ)言。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的英語(yǔ)笑話5篇，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　英語(yǔ)笑話一：

　　A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day, whereas women use 30000 words a day. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.

　　He said, "What?"

　　丈夫給妻子看了一項(xiàng)調(diào)查結(jié)果，為了向她證明女人比男人啰嗦。研究表明男人平均每天使用15000個(gè)字，而女人每天使用30000個(gè)。

　　妻子想了一會(huì)兒說(shuō)，女人每天說(shuō)的字?jǐn)?shù)是男人的兩倍，因?yàn)樗齻儽仨氈貜?fù)已經(jīng)說(shuō)過(guò)的話。

　　他問(wèn)："什么?"

　　英語(yǔ)笑話二

　　Boy: Is this seat empty?

　　Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

　　男孩：這個(gè)座位是空的么?

　　女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。

　　英語(yǔ)笑話三

　　"Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying."

　　"Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any."

　　"But has he finished his own cake?"

　　"Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."

　　"湯姆，你弟弟怎么了?" 媽媽在廚房里問(wèn)。"他在哭。"

　　"沒(méi)事兒，媽媽，" 湯姆答道。"我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因?yàn)槲也唤o他吃。"

　　"他已經(jīng)吃完自己的了么?"

　　"是的。" "我?guī)退酝陼r(shí)，他也哭了。"

　　英語(yǔ)笑話四

　　Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy."

　　Her mother interrupted and said, "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?"

　　And Julie replied, "Because that's what I put in my geography exam!"

　　朱莉葉在做睡前禱告。“禱告上帝，”她說(shuō)，“讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都吧。讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都吧。”

　　媽媽打斷她說(shuō)：“朱莉葉，你為什么求上帝讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都呢?”

　　朱莉葉回答說(shuō)：“因?yàn)槲以诘乩砜季砩鲜沁@么寫的。”

　　英語(yǔ)笑話五

　　"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied, "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "Well, what sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' " Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."

　　“醫(yī)生，你能不能告訴我，”鮑勃問(wèn)，“對(duì)于一個(gè)看上去很正常的人，你是怎樣判斷出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再?zèng)]有比這容易的了，”醫(yī)生回答，“問(wèn)他一個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的問(wèn)題，簡(jiǎn)單到所有人都知道答案，如果他回答得不干脆，那你就知道是怎么回事了。”“那要問(wèn)什么樣的問(wèn)題呢?”“嗯，你可以這樣問(wèn)，‘庫(kù)克船長(zhǎng)環(huán)球旅行了三次，但是在其中一次的途中他去世了，是哪一次呢?’”鮑勃想了一會(huì)兒，緊張的回答道，“你就不能問(wèn)另外一個(gè)問(wèn)題嗎?坦率地說(shuō)，我對(duì)歷史了解的不是很多。”