簡(jiǎn)短的簡(jiǎn)單的英語笑話
在交際場(chǎng)合,能恰到好處地講個(gè)笑話或自創(chuàng)一個(gè)幽默,不僅可以體現(xiàn)自己的語言水平,還可以提升個(gè)人魅力。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理了簡(jiǎn)短的簡(jiǎn)單的英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!
簡(jiǎn)短的簡(jiǎn)單的英語笑話篇一
死亡訃告
The phone rang in the obituary department of the local newspaper. "How much does it cost tohave an obituaryprinted"? asked the woman.
地方報(bào)社負(fù)責(zé)刊登死亡訃告的部門電話響了。“登一篇訃告多少錢?”一位女士問。
"It's five dollars a word, ma'am," the clerk replied politely. "Fine," said the woman after amoment."Got a pencil?" "Yes ma'am." "Got some paper?""Yes ma'am."
“五美元一個(gè)字，太太。”書記員禮貌地回答。“好的，”女士沉默了一小會(huì)兒，“拿著筆呢嗎?”“是的，夫人。”“紙呢?”“是的，夫人。”
"Okay, write this down: 'Cohen dead'." "That's all?" asked the clerk disbelievingly. "That's it." "I'm sorry ma'am, I should have told you - there's a five word minimum."
“好的，這樣寫：‘科恩去世了’”“就這些了?”書記員疑惑地問道。“對(duì)，就這些。”“很抱歉，夫人，我剛才沒有告訴您，在我們這登訃告最少也得五個(gè)字。”
"Yes, you should've," snapped the woman. Now let me think a minute... okay, got a pencil?" "Yes ma'am.""Got some paper?" "Yes, ma'am." "Okay, here goes: 'Cohen dead. Cadillac forSale.'"
“沒錯(cuò)，你就應(yīng)該告訴我，”女士有點(diǎn)生氣了，“現(xiàn)在我得考慮一下，嗯…拿著筆呢嗎?”“是的，夫人。”“紙呢?”“是的，夫人。”“好的，這樣寫：‘科恩去世了，出售一輛卡迪拉克轎車。’”
簡(jiǎn)短的簡(jiǎn)單的英語笑話篇二
沒問題
A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop.
一個(gè)禿頭的男人坐在理發(fā)店里。
"How can I help you?" asked the stylist. "I went for a hair transplant," the guy explained, "but Icouldn't stand the pain.
發(fā)型師問：“有什么可以幫你嗎?”那個(gè)人解釋說：“我本來要去做頭發(fā)移植，但實(shí)在太疼了。
If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I'll pay you,000."
如果你能夠讓我的頭發(fā)看起來像你的一樣，而且沒有任何痛苦，我將付給你5000美元。”
"No problem," said the stylist, and he quickly shaved his head.
“沒問題，”發(fā)型師說，然后他很快幫自己剃了個(gè)光頭。
簡(jiǎn)短的簡(jiǎn)單的英語笑話篇三
誰都沒空
I was going to bed the other night when my wife told me that I had left the light on in theshed. She could see from the bedroom window.
那天晚上，我剛要上床睡覺，妻子告訴我說我沒有關(guān)儲(chǔ)藏室的燈，她從臥室的窗戶看見那還亮著。
As I looked for myself, I saw that there were people in the shed taking things. I phoned thepolice, but they told me that no one was in this area to help at this time, but they would sendsomeone over as soon as they were available.
我也透過窗戶朝那邊看，發(fā)現(xiàn)有幾個(gè)人正在偷東西。我趕忙報(bào)警，但是警察局說現(xiàn)在沒有警察在我家的這片位置，他們一有了人手就馬上派過來。
I said OK, hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back. "Hello. I just calledyou a minute ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry aboutthem now cause I've shot them all."
我說沒問題，然后掛了電話，等了一分鐘，又給他們打過去：“警察局嗎，一分鐘以前我打過電話來，我告訴你說有人正在我家的儲(chǔ)藏室偷東西。但是現(xiàn)在沒事了，因?yàn)槲覄倓傞_槍把他們都打死了。”
Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit,the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said: "I thoughtyou said that you'd shot them!" I replied with "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
隨后，五分鐘之內(nèi)有六輛警車來到了我家，警報(bào)也響了。當(dāng)然，他們當(dāng)場(chǎng)抓住了竊賊。有個(gè)警察對(duì)我說：“我記得你說你把他們都打死了。”我回答道：“我記得你說現(xiàn)在誰都沒空。”
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