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學(xué)習(xí)啦>學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ)>英語(yǔ)閱讀>英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)>

爆笑英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典笑話(huà)

時(shí)間: 韋彥867 分享

  笑話(huà)能反映出一個(gè)民族的價(jià)值系統(tǒng)及其對(duì)周?chē)澜缈隙ê头穸ǖ膽B(tài)度。小編精心收集了爆笑經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話(huà),供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!

  爆笑經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇1

  Directly from America

  Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bankcounter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

  At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

  【中文譯文】

  它們是從美國(guó)直接帶來(lái)的

  一位中國(guó)老婦人在美國(guó)看望女兒回來(lái)不久,到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行柜臺(tái),銀行職員認(rèn)真檢查了每一張鈔票,看是否有假。

  這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩,最后實(shí)在忍耐不住說(shuō):“相信我,先生,也請(qǐng)你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元,它們是從美國(guó)直接帶來(lái)的。”

  爆笑經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇2

  He Is Really Somebody

  -- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

  -- He is really somebody. What does he do?

  -- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

  【中文譯文】

  他真是一個(gè)大人物

  -- 我叔叔下面有1000個(gè)人。

  -- 他真是一個(gè)大人物。干什么的?

  -- 墓地守墓人。

  爆笑經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇3

  What Were You Smuggling

  The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry. Whenthe guard looked in the truck, he found six big sacks. "What's inside?" he asked. "Dirt," thedriver replied. "Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them." Each one of themcontained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.

  A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck. "What's in thebags this time?" he asked. "Dirt, more dirt." said the man. Not believing him, the guard checkedthe sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.

  The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to theguard that he quitted and became a bartender. Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellowhappened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, "Listen, pal,drinks are on the house tonight if you'll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you weresmuggling all that time." Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender's ear andwhispered, "Cars."

  【中文譯文】

  意想不到的走私物品 一個(gè)形跡可疑的人開(kāi)車(chē)來(lái)到邊境,哨兵迎了上去。哨兵發(fā)現(xiàn)了幾個(gè)大口袋。 “里面裝的是什么?”他問(wèn)道。 “土。”司機(jī)回答。 “把袋子拿出來(lái)”,哨兵命令道:“我要檢查。” 確實(shí),口袋里除了土以外,別無(wú)他物。哨兵很不情愿地讓他通過(guò)了。 一周后,那人又來(lái)了,哨兵再次檢查汽車(chē)上的行李箱。 “這次袋子里裝的是什么?”他問(wèn)道。 “土,又運(yùn)了一些土。”那人回答。 哨兵不相信,對(duì)那些袋子又進(jìn)行了檢查,結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn),除了土以外,仍舊一無(wú)所獲。

  同樣的事情每隔一周發(fā)生一次,一共持續(xù)了六個(gè)月。最后,哨兵被弄得灰心喪氣,干脆辭職去當(dāng)了酒吧侍者。 有天夜里,那個(gè)形跡可疑的人碰巧途經(jīng)酒吧,下車(chē)喝酒。那位從前的哨兵急忙迎上前去對(duì)他說(shuō),“老兄,你要是能幫我一個(gè)忙,今晚的酒就歸我請(qǐng)客。你能不能告訴我,那段時(shí)間你到底在走私什么東西?” 那人俯身過(guò)來(lái),湊近侍者的耳朵,裂開(kāi)嘴笑嘻嘻地說(shuō):“汽車(chē)。”

  
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