英語笑話是指以一句英文短語或一個英文故事讓說話者和聽者之間覺得好笑，或是產(chǎn)生幽默感，笑話是一種經(jīng)過藝術加工的語言形式,是藝術化的語言，笑話是一種藝術方法。下面是學習啦小編整理的英語幽默笑話2篇，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　英語幽默笑話一：Three Turtles

　　三只烏龜

　　Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.

　　The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."

　　The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my coffee."

　　"We won't," the other two promised.

　　Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."

　　Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."

　　三只烏龜決定去喝咖啡。它們剛到咖啡店的門口，就下起雨來。于是最大的那只烏龜對最小的烏龜說，“回家去取傘吧。”

　　最小的烏龜說，“如果你們不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”

　　“我們不喝，”另外兩只烏龜答應說。

　　兩年后，大烏龜對中烏龜說，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回來了，我們可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”

　　正在這時，一個聲音從門外傳來，“你們要是喝了，我就不去。”

　　英語幽默笑話二：

　　1、Dad: Tom, please tell me, which month has 28 days?

　　Tom: Every month.

　　爸爸：告訴我湯姆，哪個月有28天呢?

　　湯姆：每個月都有啊!

　　2、Boy: Hi, didn't we go on dates before? Onec or twice?

　　Girl: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

　　男孩：嗨，我們之前是不是約會過，是一次還是兩次，我忘記了。

　　女孩：應該只有一次吧，我從不犯兩次同樣的錯誤。

　　3、In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music, a teacher asked one of the boys, "What is the most important physiological quality of a musician?"

　　"To be deaf," replied the boy.

　　"Nonsense!" said the teacher angrily.

　　"Why, sir! Don't you know that the famous musician Beethoven was deaf?" the boy asked in reply disdainfully.

　　在一次音樂學院的入學考試中，老師問其中一個男孩："音樂家最重要的生理素質是什么?"

　　"耳聾，"男孩答道。

　　"胡說!"老師氣憤地說。

　　"怎么了，先生!難道您不知道大名鼎鼎的音樂家貝多芬是個聾子嗎?"男孩輕蔑地反問道。

　　4、If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself。

　　日本旅館：如果您想調節(jié)您房間的溫度，請控制您自己。

　　5、Please don't feed the animals. If you have any food, please give it to the guard on duty。

　　匈牙利動物園：請不要給動物喂食。如果您有食品，請喂給值班警衛(wèi)。

　　6、Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar。

　　挪威酒吧：女士們不要在酒吧里生孩子。

　　7、Fur coats made for ladies from their skins。

　　瑞典皮貨商店：為女士們制作的皮大衣，是用她們的皮制成的。

　　8、Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists 。

　　香港牙科診所：由最新的衛(wèi)理公會教徒給您拔牙。

　　9、Drop your trousers here for best results。

　　泰國的干洗店：在這里脫掉您的褲子，等待最好的結果。

　　10、Specialist in women and other diseases。

　　意大利婦科診所：我們是women和其他疾病的專家。

　　11、Welcome to the cemetery where famous Russian artists are buried daily except Thursday。

　　俄國公墓：歡迎訪問這個公墓，許多著名的俄國藝術家每天埋在這里，但星期四不埋。

　　12、We take your bags and send them in all directions。

　　丹麥機場：我們將拿走您的行李，送往四面八方。

　　13、The manager has personally passed all water served here。

　　墨西哥旅館：旅館經(jīng)理將親自為您撒尿。