英式英語笑話5篇

　　下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的英式英語笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　英語笑話一：Talking on the Telephone

　　Each Sunday the minister called the children to the front of the church while he told them a story. Once he brought a telephone to better illustrate the idea of prayer.

　　"You talk to people on the telephone and don't see them on the other end of the line, right?" he began.

　　The children nodded yes. "Well, talking to God is like talking on the telephone. He's on the other end, but you can't see him. He is listening though."

　　Just then a little boy piped up and asked, "What's his number?"

　　每個(gè)星期天牧師都會(huì)把孩子們叫到教堂前面，然后給他們講一個(gè)故事。一天，他為了更好地闡述祈禱的含義，帶來了一臺(tái)電話機(jī)。

　　“你們和別人在電話里交談，并沒有看到電話線另一端的人，對(duì)嗎?”他開始問道。孩子們點(diǎn)頭稱是。“好的，和上帝交談就象通過電話交談一樣。他就在另一端，雖然你看不見他，但是他正在聆聽你的心聲。”

　　就在這時(shí)，一個(gè)小男孩尖著嗓子問道：“那他的電話號(hào)碼是什么?”

　　英語笑話二：The Name of a Poet

　　Our teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in some schools today. It works like this, she said. Suppose you wanted tore member the name of a poetRobert Burns, for instance. She told us to think of him as Bobby Burns. Now get in your head a picture of a London policeman, a bobby in flames. See? Bobby Burns! I see what you mean, said the class know it all. But how can you tell that it's Not Robert Browning?

　　我們的老師正在給我們介紹現(xiàn)在某些學(xué)校使用的一種新的記憶訓(xùn)練系統(tǒng)。這個(gè)系統(tǒng)是這樣的，她說，假定你要記住一個(gè)詩(shī)人的名字，例如，要記住羅伯特·彭斯的名字。她告訴我們把他當(dāng)作博比·彭斯，讓你的腦海里閃現(xiàn)出一個(gè)倫敦警察的形象，燃燒著的警察。明白嗎?警察燃燒! 我明白你的意思，班上的萬事通說，但是你怎么能說那就不是羅伯特·布朗寧呢?

　　英語笑話三：誰欠誰錢

　　A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me .50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for .50. Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: 0 due for a consultation.

　　律師的狗，沒有拴而到處閑逛，它來到一家肉店，偷走了一塊 烤肉。店主來到律師的辦公室，問道“如果一條沒栓的狗從我的商店里偷了塊肉，我有權(quán)利從狗的主人那里要回?fù)p失嗎?律師答道：“完全可以”，“那你欠我 8.50美元，你的狗沒栓而且今天從我的店里頭了塊肉”，律師什么都沒說，馬上給他寫了一張支票。一些天后，店主打開郵箱，發(fā)現(xiàn)一封來自律師的信，信上寫 道：咨詢費(fèi)250美元。

　　英語笑話四：馬克·吐溫

　　On one occasion when Mark Twain arrived in London from New York，the Star thought the fact worth recording onits evening placard.But there was another piece of news to bementioned：it was about the Ascot Cup being stolen.Theplacard thus ran： MARK TWAIN ARRIVES. ASCOT CUP STOLEN. Mark Twain，we believe，never heard the last of it.

　　有一次，馬克·吐溫從紐約起程抵達(dá)倫敦訪問，《星報(bào)》認(rèn)為這個(gè)消息值得登在它的晚招貼上。但是，還有一條消息也要登上：關(guān)于愛斯科杯被盜的消息。招貼是這樣寫的： 馬克·吐溫 光臨 愛斯科杯 被盜 我們相信，馬克·吐溫從來也沒聽說過這件事。

　　英語笑話五：怕老婆的丈夫

　　The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives.He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely. Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right. “It's good to see，”said the king，“that we have one real man in the kingdom.Tell these chickenhearted dunces why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.” “Your Majesty，”came the reply in a squealing voice，“it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.”

　　古代有一個(gè)國(guó)王，他想證明他領(lǐng)土內(nèi)的男人并非像人們傳說的那樣，受到老婆的管制。他把王國(guó)里所有的男人都召到跟前，警告說，哪個(gè)男人膽敢不說實(shí)話，就會(huì)受到嚴(yán)厲的懲罰。然后，他叫所有聽從妻子的命令和意見的男人都走向大廳的左側(cè)。所有的男人都站到了左側(cè)，只有一個(gè)小個(gè)子男人站到了右側(cè)。國(guó)王說：“看到我們國(guó)家里還有一個(gè)真正的男子漢，真是令人高興。告訴這些膽小的笨蛋，為什么在他們當(dāng)中只有你一個(gè)人站在大廳的右側(cè)。” “陛下，”那人尖聲地回答：“因?yàn)樵谖页鲩T之前，我老婆告訴我不要扎堆。”