簡(jiǎn)單又短的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)
簡(jiǎn)單又短的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)
民間笑話(huà)故事像神話(huà)小說(shuō)等民間文學(xué)一樣，是廣大勞動(dòng)人民在長(zhǎng)期的生產(chǎn)勞動(dòng)和與自然界作斗爭(zhēng)的過(guò)程中，以口頭形式創(chuàng)作和傳承的文學(xué)體裁。小編精心收集了簡(jiǎn)單又短的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
簡(jiǎn)單又短的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇1
KQED radio announced a few days ago that due to lack of funding, it was canceling its Perspectives commentaries. Next morning, Doug Edwards was checking the call in tape for listener reaction and came across this from a woman on her car phone: "MY name is Julia. Longtime listener. I’m very upset that you're canceling Perspectives and I' m considering canceling my support. Please reinstate…” followed by the sound of squealing brakes, a crash, shattering glass, and Julia yelling "Oh s…，you've made me so mad I just rear一ended the car in front of me. Have to go now.” Click. Poor Julia. Funds were restored，and Perspectives is back on the air.
KQED電臺(tái)在幾天前宣布，由于資金緊張，他們將刷掉一個(gè)叫做《觀察評(píng)論》的節(jié)目。第二天一大早，唐·愛(ài)得華茲從專(zhuān)門(mén)記錄聽(tīng)眾反饋意見(jiàn)的電話(huà)錄音中聽(tīng)到了一位婦女的留言:“我叫朱莉婭，一個(gè)老聽(tīng)眾了，聽(tīng)說(shuō)你們要取消《觀察評(píng)論》這個(gè)欄目，我感到非常氣憤!我要考慮收回我的資助，除非你們能恢復(fù)……”緊接著是一聲急促的剎車(chē)聲，然后是撞擊聲和玻璃粉碎的聲音，并且伴隨著朱莉婭的尖叫聲:“天那，你們簡(jiǎn)直快讓我發(fā)瘋了，剛才我和前面的一輛車(chē)追尾了，我掛電話(huà)了。”接著便是掛上電話(huà)后的滴答聲。可憐的朱莉婭，其實(shí)資金已經(jīng)重新運(yùn)轉(zhuǎn)了，《觀察評(píng)論》這檔節(jié)目也重新開(kāi)播了。
簡(jiǎn)單又短的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇2
Yesterday, in a county in south Georgia, a young state trooper went to the local magistrate and requested a warrant to arrest someone. The magistrate, doing his job, determined there was insufficient evidence and refused to issue the warrant. The trooper arrested the magistrate for" obstruction of justice.” Upon arrival at the county jail, the sheriff quickly determined what had happened，and refused to lock up the magistrate. The best part was the state patrol post’s leader's response, in a radio interview. "We believe this was just a minor misunderstanding. We have spoken with the trooper, and it won’t happen again.”
昨天，在喬治亞州南部的一個(gè)縣，一位年輕的州警到當(dāng)?shù)氐姆ㄔ?，他想要逮一個(gè)人，希望法官給他開(kāi)一個(gè)逮捕令。那個(gè)法官認(rèn)為沒(méi)有足夠的證據(jù)可以證明那個(gè)人有罪，所以拒絕簽發(fā)逮捕令。于是，這名警察便以“妨礙公務(wù)”的罪名逮捕了那位法官。可是當(dāng)治安長(zhǎng)官了解了情況以后，便拒絕監(jiān)禁名法官。然而最精彩的部分還要說(shuō)是巡警長(zhǎng)官的態(tài)度了，他在電話(huà)采訪中說(shuō)到:“我們相信這完全是個(gè)小小誤會(huì)，我們已經(jīng)批評(píng)了那個(gè)巡警，并且保證今后再不會(huì)發(fā)生類(lèi)似的事情了!”
簡(jiǎn)單又短的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇3
A middle-class man decides to go off and join a monastery, which requires an oath of silence. No speech is allowed except for two words every 5 years, to sum up one’s experiences to the head monk.
一個(gè)中產(chǎn)階級(jí)男子決心遠(yuǎn)離紅塵，去當(dāng)修道士。每個(gè)出家的人都必須要立個(gè)沉默誓言，那就是每五年只允許說(shuō)兩個(gè)字，作為對(duì)這一段時(shí)間所經(jīng)歷事情的總結(jié)。
After the first 5 years，the monk asked him what two words described his experiences and all he said was "HARD BEDS.”
第一個(gè)五年過(guò)去了，當(dāng)修道士讓他用兩個(gè)字總結(jié)這五年的經(jīng)歷時(shí)，那人說(shuō)道“破床”。
When the next 5-year period came the monk asked how things were and he replied: "BAD FOOD.”
又過(guò)了五年，當(dāng)修道士再次問(wèn)道他的時(shí)候，他回答“豬食”。
After 5 more years，he walked up to the monk and said，"I QUIT!”
第三個(gè)五年過(guò)后他對(duì)修道士說(shuō)“放棄”。
The monk nodded and muttered，“Yes , this doesn't surprise me. You've been doing nothing but complaining for the past 15 years!”
道十點(diǎn)了點(diǎn)頭喃喃地說(shuō)道:“果不出我所料，這十五年來(lái)除了抱怨以外你什么也沒(méi)有做。”
簡(jiǎn)單又短的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇4
Did you hear the one about the ethnic who came home and found his wife between the sheets with another man? Well，he pulls out a gun, saying,“ That’s enough! I’m going to put an end to this once and for all!” Then he puts the gun up to his head.
你有沒(méi)有聽(tīng)說(shuō)過(guò)有一個(gè)人，當(dāng)他回到家后發(fā)現(xiàn)自己的妻子正和另一個(gè)男人在鬼混，他立刻拔出手槍喊到:“我受夠了!看來(lái)今天是要做一個(gè)了結(jié)了!”說(shuō)完他將槍口對(duì)準(zhǔn)自己的頭。
The unfaithful wife shouts, "Don’t do it! Don’t do it! Don’t kill yourself !” The enraged ethnic replies, "Shut up, bitch，because you're next!”
這時(shí)那個(gè)蕩婦喊到:“不，不要這樣，你可不能自殺呀!”那人聽(tīng)了憤怒地吼道:“閉嘴，潑婦，下一個(gè)死的就是你!”
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