英語笑話大全爆笑
笑話是一種用來逗笑取樂的文體。笑話,不僅能讓同學(xué)們在日常生活和學(xué)習(xí)中不時地會心一笑,還能從中學(xué)習(xí)到不少的英語知識。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理了爆笑英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!
爆笑英語笑話篇一
安瓜拉瓜拉
A politician was out on the Indian reservation displaying his sympathy for the oppressedNative Americans. He addressed a gathering of the people.
一位政客抵達(dá)一處印第安人居留地向居住在該區(qū)被壓迫的原住民表達(dá)他的關(guān)切之情。他向一群民眾發(fā)表演說。
The plight of your tribe has always been close to my heart," said the politician.
“我一直切身體會到你們的窮苦困境，”政客說。
"Umgwalagwala , "responded the audience enthusiastically.
“安瓜拉瓜拉!”群眾熱烈歡呼。
I shan' t rest until greater efforts are made on your behalf.
“不為你們爭取更多的福利，我個人絕不會松懈。”
"Umgwalagwala," they responded more loudly.
“安瓜拉瓜拉!”群眾反應(yīng)更為熱烈。
"And I personally guarantee that you will all be accorded full and equal civil rights."
“此外我愿個人保證你們將被賦予完全及公平的公民權(quán)利。”
"Umgwalagwala," shouted the tribe.
“安瓜拉瓜拉!”整個部落的人都叫喊起來。
The politician was pleased with his reception and asked for a tour of the reservation. Soon,he and his guide were standing next to a fenced enclosure.
對這樣的接待，政客感到非常高興，因此他要求游覽該居留地，不久他和向?qū)Ь妥叩揭惶幏忾]的籬笆圍墻。
"And what is this used for?" asked the orator.
“這是做什么用的?，’政客問道。
"oh, this empty now, but before we keep bulls in here. "
“喔，現(xiàn)在空無一物，但以前我們在這里養(yǎng)牛。”
"I see," said the visitor, and was planning to enter the enclosure.
“原來如此，”政客說著準(zhǔn)備進(jìn)入籬笆內(nèi)。
"Hey,you better not go in there,You likely step in a lot of umgwalagwala."
“嘿，你還是不要進(jìn)去的好，否則你可能踩到很多的安瓜拉瓜拉。”
爆笑英語笑話篇二
Face it
用臉去敲鐘
Quasimodo had just died, so the rector was looking for a new hunchback to ring the great bell of Notre Dame cathedral.But the first man who applied for the job was not only a hunchback, but armless as well.
鐘樓怪人剛?cè)ナ?，因此教區(qū)的神父正在找一位駝背的人來敲巴黎圣母院的大鐘。但是第一個去應(yīng)征的不僅是駝背，而且連手也沒有。
"Of course, I'd like to give you the job," said the priest,"but how will you manage it?" "Never fear," replied the dauntless paraplegic. "Just watch;! "
"當(dāng)然，我愿意給你這個工作機(jī)會，"神父說道，"可是你怎么去敲鐘呢?""別怕，"勇敢的殘疾者答道。"待會看了你就知道。"
The two men went up to the bell tower and there the applicant took a run at the great bell, striking it with his face.The effect was magnificent, and the hunchback repeated his performance several times. However, he soon became dizzy and at the next run, missed the bell completely and went hurtling out of the bell tower to crash to his death in the courtyard below.
兩個人走上鐘樓，應(yīng)征者用臉撞那個大鐘，響了好一陣子，效果良好。于是駝子又撞了幾次?？墒遣痪盟陀X得頭暈?zāi)垦?，下一次竟然落了空，掉到鐘塔外，跌死在下面的庭院里?/p>
The priest rushed down to the crumpled body, over which a policeman was already standing. "Do you know this fellow's name?" asked the cop. "No, but his face certainly rings a bell!"
神父沖到跌得皺成一團(tuán)的尸體之處，有個警察已經(jīng)站在那里。"你知道這個家伙的名字嗎"警察問道。"不知道，但他的臉孔好熟喔!"
爆笑英語笑話篇三
I didn't take that in
我沒有把藥吃下去
A fellow who was rather slow on the uptake had been suffering from constipation, so the doctor provided him with some suppositories.
有位理解能力相當(dāng)遲緩的老兄一直為便秘所苦，因此醫(yī)生給他一些利腸的栓劑。
A week later, the patient came back to tell the doctor that his condition had not improved.
一星期后病人回來告訴醫(yī)生，他的狀況尚未改進(jìn)。
"I'm amazed," said the doctor. " Have you been taking the medicine I prescribed for you?"
“我覺得好奇怪，”醫(yī)生說。“你有沒有采用我開給你的藥方呢?”
"What do you think I've been doing, shoving it up my ass?"
“你以為我做什么呢?難道要我把它們都塞進(jìn)屁股里嗎?”
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英語笑話大全爆笑
