英語(yǔ)笑話大全
英語(yǔ)笑話大全
笑話,是供人們消遣或交際的一種創(chuàng)造性的語(yǔ)言形式,其主要功能是調(diào)侃、娛樂(lè)或諷刺。它是人們生活中不可或缺的組成部分,與社會(huì)密切相關(guān)。小編精心收集了爆笑英文笑話故事，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
爆笑英文笑話故事篇1
The man in the prison asked a new comer why he was sent there. The new comer answered: "I am out of luck, I think. A few days ago I was walking in the street when I saw a piece of dirty rope. I thought nobody wanted it and so I picked it up and took it home."
"But it is not against the law to pick up a piece of rope and take home!"
"I told you I had bad luck, didn't I?" the man sighed, "The trouble is that I didn't notice there was an ox at the other end of that rope."
在監(jiān)獄里，一個(gè)人問(wèn)新來(lái)的犯人為什么被關(guān)進(jìn)來(lái)。新來(lái)的犯人回答說(shuō)：“我想我真是倒霉。幾天前我在街上走的時(shí)候，看到一根臟繩子，以為沒(méi)人要了，便撿起來(lái)帶了回家。”
“但是，撿一根繩子帶回家并不犯法啊!”“我告訴過(guò)你我倒霉了吧?”那個(gè)人嘆了口氣，“麻煩的就是我沒(méi)有注意到繩子的那一頭還有一頭公牛。”
爆笑英文笑話故事篇2
The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitor’s Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George alwayssat alone in his cell.
So one Visitor’s Day, the warden called George to his office and said, "I notice you’ve never had any visitors, George." Sympathetic, he put his hand on George’s shoulder. "Tell me, don’t you have any friends or family?"
George replied, "Oh, sure I do, Warden. It’s just that they’re all in here!"
典獄長(zhǎng)對(duì)獄中一位囚犯深感同情，因?yàn)槊糠曛苣┑奶皆L日，大多數(shù)囚犯都有家人或朋友來(lái)訪，但是可憐的喬治總是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。
因此在一個(gè)探訪日，典獄長(zhǎng)把喬治叫到辦公室說(shuō)：“喬治，我注意到從來(lái)沒(méi)有人來(lái)探望過(guò)你。”他滿(mǎn)懷同情地把手放在喬治的肩膀上：“告訴我，你沒(méi)有任何朋友或家人嗎?”
喬治回答：“喔!當(dāng)然有，典獄長(zhǎng)，只不過(guò)他們?nèi)荚谶@里面!”
爆笑英文笑話故事篇3
When a very miserly(吝嗇的) man nicknamed the "stingy ghost" died and went to hell, the Yama King reproached(責(zé)斥) him, saying, "You stingy ghost! When you were alive, you clung hard to everything and wouldn't give to anyone. Even when you saw others in poverty and misery, you refused to offer them help. Also, you didn't take good care of your parents, relatives or friends and let them suffer and starve. For your evil karma(因果報(bào)應(yīng)) , you'll be dumped into a pot of boiling oil."
The ghost wardens then escorted the man to the pot of boiling oil, and when they arrived, he looked at the pot and said, "Hey! Wait a minute! There's so much oil in it. What a waste! Please drain out the oil, sell it and give me the money. Then, you can simply dump me in a pot of boiling water! There's no need for oil. You're using too much oil to cook one person anyway!"
有一個(gè)人很吝嗇，叫吝嗇鬼，他死了以后下地獄，閻羅王罵他說(shuō)：“你這個(gè)吝嗇鬼，在塵間的時(shí)候什么東西都抓很緊不放，什么人都不給，看到貧窮、痛苦的人也不幫助，父母、親戚、朋友也沒(méi)有照顧好，讓他們都挨餓受苦，你這種兇惡的業(yè)障，應(yīng)該被放入滾開(kāi)的油鍋里面。”
鬼差就帶他到滾得很熱、很燙的油鍋那邊，吝嗇鬼一看就說(shuō)：“喔，等一下、慢一下!油那么多，怎么那么浪費(fèi)呢?你們先把這些油倒出來(lái)，賣(mài)出去后把錢(qián)給我，然后丟我在熱燙的水里就可以了!何必用油，而且還用那么多油!”
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