英語(yǔ)笑話大全短篇
英語(yǔ)笑話大全短篇
笑話是流傳在民間的一種故事性的文學(xué)體裁。古人稱笑話為“諧”,劉勰說(shuō):“‘諧’之言,皆也;辭淺會(huì)俗,皆悅笑也。”小編精心收集了短篇英語(yǔ)笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
短篇英語(yǔ)笑話篇1
The Same Duties
A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. "Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the army," the general said. "Nothing to it-you'll catch on again fast."
Next morning promptly at eight o'clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general's bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, spanked his employer's wife on her bottom and said, "OK, sweetheart, it's back to the village for you."
相同的職責(zé)
一個(gè)退休的四星級(jí)將軍在曼哈頓的一個(gè)酒吧偶然地遇到了他以前的勤務(wù)兵，勤務(wù)兵也退休在家。這位將軍花了一整個(gè)晚上的時(shí)間來(lái)說(shuō)服他回來(lái)做他的貼身隨從。“你的職責(zé)與在軍隊(duì)時(shí)完全一樣，”將軍說(shuō)，“這沒(méi)什么，你很快就會(huì)再次理解它的。”
第二天早晨八點(diǎn)鐘時(shí)，前勤務(wù)兵迅速地進(jìn)到前將軍的臥室，拉開(kāi)窗簾，輕輕地?fù)u了搖將軍，然后大步走到床的另一側(cè)，在他雇主的妻子屁股上拍了一下，說(shuō)道：“好了，甜心，你該回到村莊去了。”
短篇英語(yǔ)笑話篇2
Five Months Older
The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.
But John's brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy's family name, so when he saw John's papers, he was surprised.
"How old are you?" he said.
"Eighteen, sir," said John.
"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"
"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."
大五個(gè)月
第二次世界大戰(zhàn)開(kāi)始了，約翰想?yún)④?，可他只有十六歲，當(dāng)時(shí)規(guī)定男孩到十八歲才能入伍。所以軍醫(yī)給他進(jìn)行體檢時(shí)，他說(shuō)他已經(jīng)十八歲了。
可約翰的哥哥剛?cè)胛闆](méi)幾天，而且也是這個(gè)軍醫(yī)給他做的檢查。這位醫(yī)生還記得他哥哥的姓。所以當(dāng)他看到約翰的表格時(shí)，感到非常驚奇。
“你多大了?”軍醫(yī)問(wèn)。
“十八，長(zhǎng)官。”約翰說(shuō)。
“可你的哥哥也是十八歲，你們是雙胞胎嗎?”
約翰臉紅了，說(shuō)：“哦，不是，長(zhǎng)官，我哥哥比我大五個(gè)月。”
短篇英語(yǔ)笑話篇3
Peter was telling a friend that he had just lost his job.
"Why did the foreman(領(lǐng)班) fire you?" the friend asked in surprise.
"Oh," Peter said, "you know how foreman are. They stand around with their hands in their pockets watching everybody else work."
"We all know that," replied his friend. "But why did he let you go?"
"Jealousy," answered Pete. "All the other workers thought I was the foreman."
皮特告訴他的朋友他剛剛丟掉了工作。
“為什么領(lǐng)班會(huì)開(kāi)除你?”朋友詫異地問(wèn)。
“哦，”皮特說(shuō)，“你知道領(lǐng)班是什么樣的人。他們總是把手插在口袋了，站在旁邊看其他人工作。”
“我們知道是這樣。”朋友回答說(shuō)。“但是為什么他會(huì)讓你走?”
“嫉妒。”皮特回答。“其他所有的工人都認(rèn)為我是領(lǐng)班。”
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