小學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)笑話

　　下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的小學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　小學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)笑話：Cry

　　"Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying."

　　"Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any."

　　"But has he finished his own cake?"

　　"Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."

　　“湯姆，你弟弟怎么了?” 媽媽在廚房里問(wèn)。“他在哭。”

　　“沒(méi)事兒，媽媽，”湯姆答道。“我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因?yàn)槲也唤o他吃。”

　　“他已經(jīng)吃完自己的了么?”

　　“是的。”“我?guī)退酝陼r(shí)，他也哭了。”

　　小學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)笑話：可憐的男人

　　A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.

　　Bartender: "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"

　　The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month."

　　Bartender: "That should make you happy."

　　The man: "No, the month is up today!"

　　一個(gè)男人坐在酒吧里，傷心至極。

　　酒吧招待：“你怎么了?跟老婆鬧矛盾了?”

　　男人：“我們吵了一架，她說(shuō)一個(gè)月都不跟我說(shuō)話。”

　　酒吧招待：“那你應(yīng)該高興才是啊!”

　　男人：“不，今天是這個(gè)月的最后一天。”

　　小學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)笑話：太黑了，看不見(jiàn)

　　After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."

　　晚飯后，父親和母親都忙著和客人玩麻將，這時(shí)母親忽然想起點(diǎn)兒事來(lái)，便對(duì)正在看電視的兒子說(shuō)道：“寶貝，去看看廚房里的燈是不是還開(kāi)著呢?” 過(guò)了一會(huì)兒，兒子回來(lái)說(shuō)：“媽，廚房里太黑了，我根本就看不見(jiàn)。”

　　小學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)笑話：One real man

　　The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives. He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely(嚴(yán)格地，嚴(yán)厲地).

　　Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel(勸告，建議) to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.

　　It's good to see, said the king, that we have one real man in the kingdom. Tell these chickenhearted(膽小的) dunces(傻瓜) why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.

　　Your Majesty, came the reply in a squealing voice, it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.

　　一個(gè)真正的男子漢

　　古代有一個(gè)國(guó)王，他想證明他領(lǐng)土內(nèi)的男人并非像人們傳說(shuō)的那樣，受到老婆的管制。他把王國(guó)里所有的男人都召到跟前，警告說(shuō)，哪個(gè)男人膽敢不說(shuō)實(shí)話，就會(huì)受到嚴(yán)厲的懲罰。

　　然后，他叫所有聽(tīng)從妻子的命令和意見(jiàn)的男人都走向大廳的左側(cè)。所有的男人都站到了左側(cè)，只有一個(gè)小個(gè)子男人站到了右側(cè)。

　　國(guó)王說(shuō)：看到我們國(guó)家里還有一個(gè)真正的男子漢，真是令人高興。告訴這些膽小的笨蛋，為什么在他們當(dāng)中只有你一個(gè)人站在大廳的右側(cè)。

　　陛下，那人尖聲地回答：因?yàn)樵谖页鲩T(mén)之前，我老婆告訴我不要扎堆。

　　小學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)笑話：萬(wàn)能的圣誕老人并非啥都知道

　　As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"

　　The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"

　　一個(gè)女孩爬到圣誕老人的膝蓋上，圣誕老人例行公事的問(wèn)：“今年圣誕節(jié)你想要什么呢?”

　　孩子瞪大眼睛驚訝的望著圣誕老人一分鐘都沒(méi)講話，然后喘著氣說(shuō)到：“你沒(méi)收到我的電子郵件嗎?(我想要什么都寫(xiě)上面了，萬(wàn)能的圣誕老人咋能不知道捏)”

　　小學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)笑話：Psychiatrist 精神病醫(yī)生

　　Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for ." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!!

　　杰瑞去看精神病醫(yī)生。“醫(yī)生，我有些不對(duì)勁。每次睡覺(jué)的時(shí)候，我都感覺(jué)有人在床下。我要瘋了!”“給我一年時(shí)間，”醫(yī)生說(shuō)，“每周來(lái)三次，我會(huì)治好你。”“費(fèi)用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我會(huì)認(rèn)真考慮的。”杰瑞答道。六個(gè)月后醫(yī)生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“為什么你再也沒(méi)來(lái)呢?”醫(yī)生問(wèn)。“一次一百塊錢(qián)嗎?有個(gè)酒吧服務(wù)生收了十塊錢(qián)就把我治好了。”“真的?他怎么做到的?”“他讓我把床腿鋸掉?，F(xiàn)在那沒(méi)人了!”

　　小學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)笑話：兄弟倆的對(duì)話 Where is the father?

　　Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

　　"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

　　"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

　　The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

　　父親在哪兒?

　　兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫(huà)。

　　“看，”哥哥說(shuō)，“這些畫(huà)多漂亮呀!”

　　“是啊，”弟弟說(shuō)道，“可是在所有這些畫(huà)中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”

　　哥哥想了會(huì)兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當(dāng)時(shí)正在畫(huà)這些畫(huà)唄。”

　　小學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)笑話：汽車(chē)配件 Automobile Fittings

　　A lorry driver makes inquiry of a mountaineer, "Excuse me, where can I buy the auto accessories(附件) in the neighborhood?"

　　Mountaineer says, "Some people usually drive heroic car on the road. There is a abrupt turn(急轉(zhuǎn)彎) ahead not far from here, and a clough(深谷) just below it, where you can find all kinds of the auto accessories. You will spend no money at all."

　　一個(gè)卡車(chē)司機(jī)向一山民打聽(tīng)：“請(qǐng)問(wèn)，這附近哪兒能買(mǎi)到汽車(chē)配件?”

　　山民說(shuō)：“這條路上經(jīng)常有人開(kāi)英雄車(chē)，前面不遠(yuǎn)處是個(gè)急轉(zhuǎn)彎，急轉(zhuǎn)彎的下面就是深谷，那深谷里什么樣的汽車(chē)配件都有——根本用不著花錢(qián)。”

　　小學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)笑話：拍賣(mài)會(huì)上 At Auction Fair

　　At auction spot, someone has lost a bag, in which has the vital document.

　　The owner says, "Once who picked it up brings it to me, I will take out 200 dollars to remunerate reward him or her."

　　On hearing the news, another chap(小伙子，家伙) shouts out:" I reward 300 dollars."

　　拍賣(mài)會(huì)上，有人的包丟了，里面裝有重要文件。物主說(shuō)：“有誰(shuí)揀到送還，我將拿出200美元以表酬謝。”

　　話剛出口，就聽(tīng)有人喊：“我出300美元。”