英語笑話大全短篇
英語笑話大全短篇
笑話是日常生活中人們消遣娛樂的一種常見語言現(xiàn)象,其目的在于在會話過程中傳遞和激發(fā)幽默感。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編精心收集的短篇英語笑話，希望大家喜歡!
短篇英語笑話篇一
A pretty young lady went to cash a check at a bank. The teller examined it, and then asked, "Can you identify yourself?" Looking puzzled，the girl dipped into her handbag and pulled out a small mirror. She glanced into it for a moment, and then smiled, "Yes, it’s me all right.”
一位年輕漂亮的女士到銀行取錢。出納員在檢查了她的存折后問道:“您能證明您的身份嗎?”這個女孩聽了這話以后看上去很迷惑，隨后她從手提包里拿出一個小鏡子。她對著鏡子照了一會兒，笑了:“對呀，這就是我。”
短篇英語笑話篇二
Teacher: Betty, you made so many mistakes in your exercise, surely your mother wilt blame you!
老師:貝蒂，你作業(yè)中出了這么多錯，你媽媽一定會責(zé)怪你的!
Betty: Blame me? Oh, no. On the contrary, I' II blame her. Because it was she who did my homework instead.
貝蒂:責(zé)怪我?啊，不會的。正相反，我倒要責(zé)怪她呢，是她替我做的作業(yè)。
短篇英語笑話篇三
US and Russia arranged a competition to determine whose nation had the bravest troops. The two leaders arrived, at the designated hour, on a plateau in Finland high above the water. Each was accompanied by a battalion of crack troops, smartly uniformed. The leaders shook hands.
美國軍隊(duì)和俄羅斯軍隊(duì)舉行了一次比武，看看誰軍隊(duì)的士兵最勇敢。兩國的首腦在約定的時間來到了芬蘭臨海的一個高地上。他們分別帶來自己最優(yōu)秀的軍隊(duì)，穿著漂亮的軍裝。兩國領(lǐng)導(dǎo)人握手后美國先開始。
US went first. The leader addressed his battalion of Marines:
美國領(lǐng)導(dǎo)人向海軍陸戰(zhàn)隊(duì)說:
"Private Jones! Front and center.”
“大兵瓊斯，出列。”
Private Jones saluted and briskly marched to the front of the ranks, facing his commander.
瓊斯走到前面向指揮官干凈利落地敬了個禮。
"Private Jones! March to the edge of the cliff.”
“大兵瓊斯，走到懸崖邊上去。”
Private Jones saluted and briskly marched to the very edge of the cliff.
瓊斯敬了個禮后走到了懸崖的邊上。
"Private Jones! Jump!”
“大兵瓊斯，跳!”
Jones just stood there, unmoving.
瓊斯站在那里一動沒動。
"Private Jones! I said jump!”
“大兵瓊斯，我說跳。”
The man’s knees started to shake, but he was otherwise motionless.
他站在那里開始發(fā)抖，但還是沒有動。
"Private Jones! This is your Commander一in一Chief. I ORDER YOU TO JUMP!!!”
“大兵瓊斯，我作為最高指揮官現(xiàn)在命令你跳下去。”
Private Jones wailed out: "I can’t! I have a wife-and a family!”
瓊斯悲痛的說:“我不能跳，我還有妻子和家庭。”
Jones was sent away for court martial. The US leader backed off in disgrace. It was now Russian's turn.
瓊斯因此被帶走去了軍事法庭。美國領(lǐng)導(dǎo)人很丟人的回去了。下面該輪到俄羅斯了。
"Comrade Dmitrivich! Front and center.
“德米特雷維奇同志，出列。”
Comrade Dmitrivich saluted and briskly marched to the front of the ranks, facing his commander.
德米特雷維奇走到前面向指揮官干凈利落地敬了個禮。
"Comrade Dmitrivich! March to the edge of the cliff.”
“德米特雷維奇同志，走到懸崖邊上去。”
Dmitrivich saluted and briskly marched to the very edge of the cliff.
他敬了個禮后走到了懸崖的邊上。
"Comrade Dmitrivich! Jump!”
“德米特雷維奇同志，跳!”
Dmitrivich jumped off the cliff.
他跳下了懸崖。
By some miracle, he was snagged on a branch and he landed on a crag some 50 feet below the top of the cliff. Dmitrivich was badly injured, but still alive and conscions. He was carried away on a stretcher. As Dmitrivich was carried passed Private Jones, Jones could not resist asking him: "Dmitrivich! How could you do it? How could you jump?"
奇跡發(fā)生了，他被一個樹枝掛了一下，然后掉在了離懸崖五十英尺的峭壁上。他傷勢嚴(yán)重但還活著，而且神志清醒。他被擔(dān)架抬了上來。當(dāng)他的擔(dān)架經(jīng)過大兵瓊斯的時候，瓊斯忍不住問他:“德米特雷維奇，你怎么能那么做?你怎么能往下跳呢?”
Dmitrivich answered: "I had to! I have a wife-and a family!”
德米特雷維奇說:“我不得不跳，因?yàn)槲疫€有妻子和家庭。”
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