搞笑英文笑話大全
搞笑英文笑話大全
笑話是日常生活中人們消遣娛樂(lè)的一種常見(jiàn)語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象,其目的在于在會(huì)話過(guò)程中傳遞和激發(fā)幽默感。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的搞笑英文笑話，歡迎欣賞!
搞笑英文笑話篇1
After a two-week vacation, a man returned to his office and one of his fellow workers asked him what kind of time he's had.
"I spent the whole two weeks helping my wife paint the rooms in our house," he groaned.
"Does she do that often?"
"Well," came the reply, "when we moved in a few years ago, the xiaogushi8.com guest room was nine by twelve. Now it's eight by eleven!"
兩周的假期后，一位男士回到了辦公室。一個(gè)同事問(wèn)起他假期是怎么過(guò)的。
“我花了整整兩周的時(shí)間幫我老婆粉刷房子的所有房間。”他嘆著氣說(shuō)。
“她經(jīng)常刷房子嗎?”
“你問(wèn)這個(gè)呀，”他答道，“幾年前我們搬進(jìn)那座房子時(shí)，客廳的面積是9X12英尺，現(xiàn)在它的面積是8X11英尺了。”
搞笑英文笑話篇2
Mrs. Brown dialed her daughter's number and sang out, "Hello, darling. How are you?"
"Terrible, Mom. My back is killing me, the children are acting up, the house is a mess…and I'm expecting guest for dinner."
"Don't worry, darling. I'm coming right over. I'll feed the kids, clean up your place, and cook a dinner your guests will never forget."
You're an angel! How is Dad?"
"Dad? Sweetheart, you know Daddy died nine years ago."
Pause. "What number are you calling? Hold on? Please!" the voice wailed. "Does this mean you are not coming over?"
布朗夫人給她女兒撥了個(gè)電話，然后高興地說(shuō)：”哎，親愛(ài)的，你好嗎?“
“太糟了， 媽媽。我的腰疼得很厲害。孩子們一直在鬧，房子里亂七八糟的，我還要為六為客人準(zhǔn)備晚餐。”
“親愛(ài)的，別著急，我馬上就來(lái)。我會(huì)把孩子們喂飽，清理好房子，然后給客人們做一頓難以忘懷的晚餐。“
“你真是個(gè)救命的菩薩，爸爸怎么樣?“
“你爸爸?親愛(ài)的，你這是怎么啦?你爸爸九年前就死了呀?”
沉默了一會(huì)，“您是不是撥錯(cuò)了電話?請(qǐng)別掛上，”那個(gè)聲音變的有氣無(wú)力了，“是不是這就意味著您不會(huì)來(lái)啦?”
搞笑英文笑話篇3
Police officers hear plenty of excuses from people caught parking only for the handicappedpersons.
Once a policeman stopped a man for doing so. When the man was questioned if he knew the parking regulations. He answered correctly. Then the policeman further questioned why he was parking his car there.
"Oh, I injured my leg last week. The doctor said I would become disabled if I didn't get proper treatment. Now I'm experiencing what I feel like to be an disabled person."
當(dāng)那些正常人因把車錯(cuò)停在專供殘疾人用的停車位而被警察抓到時(shí)，他們總是能找到各種各樣的借口。
一次，一個(gè)警察阻止一個(gè)人把車停在殘疾人的專用位上。當(dāng)警察問(wèn)他是否知道這個(gè)停車的規(guī)定時(shí)，他說(shuō)她知道。然后警察接著問(wèn)他為什么還故意把車停在那兒。
那人回答說(shuō)：“哦，上星期我摔傷了腿，大夫說(shuō)，如果我不很好治療，我就會(huì)變殘疾，現(xiàn)在我想先體驗(yàn)一下作個(gè)殘疾人是什么滋味。”
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