英語幽默小笑話

　　下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的英語幽默小笑話，希望大家會(huì)喜歡!

　　英語幽默小笑話：太陽和月亮

　　Two boys are talking about the sun and the moon. "Which one of them is more useful?" asked one of them.

　　兩個(gè)男孩在談?wù)撎柡驮铝痢?ldquo;它們中哪個(gè)更有用?”其中一個(gè)問道。

　　"Of course the moon is. The moon is in the sky when it's dark, but the sun is in the sky in the daytime when nobody needs it."

　　“當(dāng)然是月亮。月亮在天黑時(shí)掛在天空，但太陽是在白天誰也不需要它時(shí)掛在天空。”

　　英語幽默小笑話：there's only ONE policeman

　　One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

　　一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個(gè)孩子正處于那種對(duì)什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發(fā)問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思?”“唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個(gè)警察。如果我把他們看成了四個(gè)，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個(gè)警察呀!”

　　英語幽默小笑話：A Girl's Name 女孩的名字

　　When our daughter was born, we named her Myles, after my beloved late(已故的) father, despite family warning that the name was too masculine(男性的) .

　　Years later, when I felt she was old enough to understand, I explained to Myles, Your name is very special. I named you after my own father because I loved him very much. I know he would be proud of you.

　　Myles thought carefully about this and then said, I know all that, Mom. But I don't understand why my grandfather had a girl's name.

　　女兒出生時(shí)，我們給她取名叫邁爾斯，和我深愛的業(yè)已過世的父親同一個(gè)名字，不過家人提醒這個(gè)名字太男性化了。

　　幾年以后，我覺得邁爾斯已經(jīng)長大，能夠懂事了。我對(duì)她解釋說：你的名字很特別。我給你取了一個(gè)和我爸爸一樣的名字，因?yàn)槲曳浅鬯Ｎ蚁嘈潘麜?huì)為你而深感自豪的。

　　邁爾斯很仔細(xì)地想了一下，然后說道：這些我都懂，媽媽?？墒俏也恢劳夤珵槭裁磿?huì)有一個(gè)女孩子的名字。

　　英語幽默小笑話：A Vacation Cruise 假日巡航游

　　One stupid guy reads an ad about a vacation cruise that costs only $ 100.After he signs up and pays, the travel agent hits him with a bat, knocks him unconscious and throws him out the back door into the river. Soon another guy comes in, pays his fee and gets the same treatment.

　　Fifteen minutes later, as the two are floating down the river together, the first man says, "I wonder if they're serving any food on this cruise."

　　"I don' t know, the second guy replied. "They didn't last year."

　　一愚笨之人讀到一則假日巡航游只須花100元的廣告。在他簽了字付了款后，旅游經(jīng)紀(jì)人用棒猛擊了他一下，把他打昏了過去，并把他從后門扔進(jìn)了河里。不久又來了一個(gè)人，付了錢并得到了相同的待遇。 十五分鐘后，這兩個(gè)人一起向河的下游漂去。第一個(gè)人說：“不知道他們這次巡航游是否提供食物。” “不知道，”第二個(gè)人說道，“去年是沒有的。”

　　英語幽默小笑話：Keep feeding him nickels

　　A mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it. She immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes. Frantically, she called to the father outside. "Your son just swallowed a nickel and coughed up two dimes!What shall I do? "Yelled back the father,"Keep feeding him nickels!"

　　母親見三歲的兒子將一枚五分鎳幣放進(jìn)嘴里吞了下去，她立刻將他抱起，頭朝下不停地拍打他的后背，他咳出了兩枚一角的硬幣，她發(fā)狂似的朝正在外面的孩子父親喊道： “你兒子剛才吞下了一枚五分鎳幣，可咳出兩枚一角的硬幣!我該怎么辦呢?”孩子他爸大聲回答道：“再喂他幾枚鎳幣!”

　　英語幽默小笑話：Dumas仲馬

　　One day a man was taunting Alexandre Dumas，the greatFrench novelist，with his ancestry. “Why，” snarled the fellow，“you are a quadroon;yourfather was a mulatto，and your grandfather was a negro.” “Yes，” roared Dumas，“and，if you wish to know'mygreatgrandfather was a monkey. In fact， my pedigree beganwhere yours terminates.”

　　有一天，一個(gè)人在嘲弄法國大小說家亞歷山大·仲馬，譏笑他的祖先。 那家伙厲聲說：“唔，你是四分之一黑白混血兒，你父親是黑白混血兒，而你的祖父是個(gè)黑人。” “是的，”仲馬大聲回敬：“還有呢，如果你想知道的話， 我的曾祖父是一只猴子。其實(shí)我的血統(tǒng)起始于你的血統(tǒng)終止的地方。”

　　英語幽默小笑話：Back Up Two Miles退后兩英里

　　A farmer and his son, traveling by horse and buggy up a narrow lane, met a motorist going the other way. There was no room to pass for two miles in either direction. The motorist, in hurry, honked his horn .

　　"If you don't back up," said the farmer, rolling up his sleeves, I won't like what I'm going to have to do." The surprised driver put his car in reverse and backed up two miles, allowing the horse and buggy to go by. "What was it you wouldn't have liked to have done back there?" asked the farmer's son.

　　"Back up two miles," replied the farmer.

　　一位農(nóng)夫和他的兒子乘坐輕便馬車來到一段窄路，他們遇到一個(gè)開車的人向相反的方向去。兩個(gè)方向的兩英里以內(nèi)都沒有地方可以使他們相擦而過。駕車人甚是著急，按響了喇叭。 “如果你不后退，”農(nóng)夫說著擼起了袖子，“我可不喜歡我將不得不做的事。”司機(jī)吃驚不小，掛上倒擋，向后退了兩英里，讓輕便馬車先過去。

　　“剛才在那兒你說過的你不喜歡要做的事是什么?”農(nóng)夫的兒子問道。

　　“退后兩英里，”農(nóng)夫回答道。

　　英語幽默小笑話：Day after Day 日復(fù)一日

　　A teacher was always so involved in the text being studied that he never looked up . He would call on a student for translation and explanation, and-without realizing it-he often chose the same student day after day. Out of respect, the student wouldn't point this out to him.

　　After being called on four days in a row, a student named Goldberg asked advice from his friends. The next day when the teacher said "Goldberg, translate and explain," Goldberg replied, "Goldberg is absent today ."

　　"All right," said the teacher. "YOU translate and explain.

　　一位老師對(duì)所講課文總是非常投入，從不抬頭。他常讓一個(gè)學(xué)生來翻譯和解釋，并且----不自覺地----他常日復(fù)一日地叫同一個(gè)學(xué)生。出于尊敬，學(xué)生并不給他指出這一點(diǎn)。

　　一個(gè)叫古德伯格的學(xué)生，在被一連叫了四天之后，向他的朋友尋求建議。第二天，這位教師又說：“古德伯格，翻譯并解釋。”古德伯格回答說：“古德伯格今天缺席。”

　　“那好吧，”教師說，“那就你來翻譯并解釋。”

　　英語幽默小笑話：The Choice of Word選詞

　　One day, John was back home after work. He found that his wife was shaking their daughter who was only half a year old. She said "Da-Dy" to the baby many times. John felt very happy because he thought his wife chose the word "Dady" to teach their baby.

　　During one night several weeks later, John and his wife were waken up by the cry "Dady". His wife said to him, "Darling, she is calling you." Then she turned to sleep.

　　一天下班回家，約翰發(fā)現(xiàn)妻子在搖半歲的女兒，嘴里反復(fù)念道：“爸-爸。”約翰心里感到美滋滋的，他的妻子選擇了“爸爸”這個(gè)詞首先教孩子。

　　幾周后的一天夜里，約翰和妻子被一陣哭聲驚醒了，“爸-爸!”“她在叫你，親愛的。”妻子說，然后翻身竟自睡了。

　　英語幽默小笑話：Three Men in a Boat

　　Three Men in a Boat

　　Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines and reeled in their catch.

　　A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two.

　　"Oh yes, " he said. "They are my friends.

　　"In that case, " warned the officer, "you'd better get them out of here!"

　　"Yes, sir, " the man replied, and he began rowing furiously.

　　三人同舟

　　三位男子在公園的長椅上坐著。中間的一個(gè)在讀報(bào)紙，另外兩個(gè)在假裝釣魚。他們給想象的魚鉤上魚餌，放線，并卷線把魚抓上來。

　　一位過路警察駐足觀察了這個(gè)景象，他問中間的那個(gè)男子是否認(rèn)識(shí)其他兩位。

　　“喔，認(rèn)識(shí)，”他說，“他們是我的朋友。”

　　“那樣的話，”警察告誡說，“你最好把他們從這里弄走。”

　　“好的，警官。”那男子回答說，接著就開始瘋狂般地做起劃槳的動(dòng)作來。

　　英語幽默小笑話：　The King's Brother 國王的兄弟

　　A poor man， presenting himself before the King of Spain，asked his charity， telling him that he was his brother. Theking desiring to know how he claimed kindred to him， the poorfellow replied，“We are all descended from one common fatherand mother—viz.， Adam and Eve.” Upon which the kinggave him a little copper piece of money. The poor man beganto bemoan himself， saying，“Is it possible that your Majestyshould give no more than this to your brother?”“Away，away，”replies the king;“if all the brothers you have in theworld give you as much as I have done， you'll be richer than Iam.”

　　一個(gè)窮漢去見西班牙國王，說自己是他的兄弟，求他施恩周濟(jì)。國王想知道他何以攀認(rèn)親戚，窮漢回答說，“我們有共同的祖先——亞當(dāng)和夏娃。”聽了這話，國王就給了他一個(gè)小銅子兒。于是窮人開始叫屈，說：“難道您國王陛下就給兄弟這么一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)錢嗎?”“走開，快走，”國王回答，“如果世界上你所有的兄弟們都像我這樣給你一個(gè)銅板，你就比我還有錢了。”

　　英語幽默小笑話：老虎來了

　　When a Tiger comes Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them. One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?" His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."

　　兩個(gè)男人正在穿過叢林，突然，一只老虎出現(xiàn)在遠(yuǎn)處，向他們沖來。當(dāng)中的一個(gè)人從包里拿出一雙“耐克”跑鞋，開始穿上。另一個(gè)人驚奇地看著他說，“你以為穿上跑鞋就可以跑得過老虎嗎?” 他的朋友回答道：“我不用跑得過它，我只要跑得比你快就行了。”